I think last year was probably the worst year of my life. Although in retrospect maybe that was a good thing, since it forced me to make some changes in my thinking and perception and personal philosophy that ultimately have led to a much more satisfying and content existence. Sometimes its only when things get to their worst and a situation becomes intolerable that you actually find the motivation to make changes. A couple years ago I came to the realization that I was pretty much bored with everything and that I didn’t really care about anything. I took this boredom and apathy and convinced […]
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/04/depression-allergic-reaction-inflammation-immune-system
Does anyone else just get really frustrated with people who think they are helping you? The ones that constantly compliment you? Because they have this naive delusion that if they just keep saying it over and over again, somehow it will change how you think about yourself? The compliments are just awkward aren’t they? When what you believe is the exact opposite of what they are saying? You know they are trying to be nice, and they are trying to help. but it just makes you feel uncomfortable and its annoying and you wish they would stop and you hate hearing it because it feels […]
I find every thing about life exhausting. The daily interactions with other people, all the expectations and obligations. Every aspect of living takes more effort than it is worth. The work the effort we have to put into this existence its just far more than we ever get out of it. I have this secret fantasy, of getting sent to prison on a life sentence. Where I get to serve out the whole sentence in solitary confinement. Just 24/7 locked in my little cell, never seeing anyone else. Just slide a meal tray through the door once or twice a day and leave me alone. […]
Does anyone else really dislike activists?
I suppose what I really mean is zealots in general, whether its religious, political, or ideological. Just anyone that is so completely convinced in their own beliefs for any cause that they are totally uncompromising and fanatical about it. Just the self righteous arrogance of it. Obviously we all have our own beliefs and obviously since they are our beliefs we think they are the correct beliefs. If we didn’t think they were correct we wouldn’t believe in them. So I find it annoying when people are so passionate about their own dogma that they constantly have to proselytize about […]
I honestly have nothing to fill all the hours of each day with. Unfortunately you can’t sleep 24 hours a day, I am actually jealous of coma patients some times. Its ridiculous to say that with all the millions of distractions that are so easily available. Yet its the truth, millions of books, video games, albums, movies, tv series etc available at the click of a mouse thanks to the internet. Plus all the social media and everything else the internet offers message boards chat rooms online classes. Well and of course all the fun things you could do out in the real world. Yet most […]
My life has always been filled with emptiness. I have never had motivation or aspirations. I completely lack in ambition. There is nothing I want to achieve no goals I want to accomplish. I have no hope for the future because I don’t want anything. If there is nothing you want what is there to hope for? I suppose the only thing I want is the desire to want. Life isn’t bad it just seems so empty and pointless and meaningless. I am not really attached to anything or anyone. I avoid people not because I hate people I am not misanthropic I just find […]