I honestly have nothing to fill all the hours of each day with. Unfortunately you can’t sleep 24 hours a day, I am actually jealous of coma patients some times. Its ridiculous to say that with all the millions of distractions that are so easily available. Yet its the truth, millions of books, video games, albums, movies, tv series etc available at the click of a mouse thanks to the internet. Plus all the social media and everything else the internet offers message boards chat rooms online classes. Well and of course all the fun things you could do out in the real world. Yet most of the time even with so many available options I just find myself spending hours laying in bed staring at the ceiling instead. I feel like my mind is starving and turning inward and devouring itself because of lack of sustenance. Its like being in a giant grocery store and starving to death because even with so many options they all seem so unappealing that you just can’t force yourself to eat.
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You could try hitting a casino. I did so the other day and it boosted my spirits immensely. I need to join the football pools. I also discovered that’s where all the local elderly retirees blow all their life’s savings. I wonder if I could get a job as an assistant for a nice old lady. I’ll fetch her gin while she frantically plays the machines all day long, and stay at her spot while she takes a cigarette break. She would pay me by the hour. It doesn’t sound like a bad gig tbh. Hm.
There were times in my life when I felt like this, but I also pulled myself out several times. I always managed to find something that I loved to do and could devote focused attention to for hours at a time. At first, it was music. Then sports/exercise. Finally it was mathematics study and stat programming. I’ll never forget the joys that I felt while swept up in these experiences. They were the best moments of my life. Until I ruined everything. Now I have to kill myself. But I am still happy that I found what made me happy in the past, even if I ruined everything eventually.
Learn about the concept of “Flow” by Csikszentmihalyi. Don’t bother with his books, they are tedious reads with lots of philosophy nonsense. Read the wikipedia article on it. Then set out to find something that might work for you. The uptake period will be less than exciting for most things, but you’ll eventually find something if you try enough things. During the uptake period for any activity, you just have to force yourself to do it. Resolve to make it a part of your daily routine for one month. Buy a pen and paper daily planner and write it in and feel the satisfaction of checking things off as you get stuff done.
As a last resort, try medication for ADHD. Adderall and other stimulants are excellent short-term solutions for helping concentration and staying on task. They are also addictive and you will probably not be able to rely on them for the long term. But they are useful for getting that initial spark of interest. Try guided mindfulness meditation to train your mind to control wandering thoughts that inhibit focus and concentration.
I read your other post. You are very articulate and your writing skills are excellent. Forgive me if I am just guessing, but I suspect that you would find “flow” experiences in intellectual pursuits. Check out some of the free online courses from MOOCs such as edx (they produce the highest quality courses BY FAR) or coursera (a distant second). But also do something physical. Something that forces you to get out of bed every day. A martial arts class used to do it for me.
Thanks for taking the time to write all that
casinos are a nice distraction sometimes. Free drinks and lots of interesting games/machines to play as long as you aren’t really expecting to win. I always thought it would be fun to live in Las Vegas actually. I don’t really care for gambling but it can be fun to just walk through the casinos and look at everything. Plus all the shops and restaurants and everything so packed in so close together that its easy to just wander from one right into the next.
I hadn’t heard of Csikszentmihalyi before. Flow does sound interesting, being able to put yourself into a hyperfocus state pretty much at will. I do have trouble with focus and concentration since I don’t have much interest in anything its hard to maintain focus. Its why all the things I fill my days with are so passive. Just watch tv, listen to music, listen to audio books. I actually have signed up for a few of those MOOCs I usually end up watching a few videos and then forget to ever go back. I actually have one that I am currently signed up for called the science of happiness a class from Berkeley on edx that I thought sounded like something I should be interested in but I can’t get myself to watch the videos maybe I will try again this week to get started on that. I listen to some guided meditation stuff on youtube and have tried those binaural beats videos on there and the ones with nature sounds and white noise. I haven’t had much results the guided meditation usually just makes me zone out, but I guess that isn’t a bad result. The binaural beats I usually listen to before bed. Since I sleep so much I have been interested in lucid dreaming.
I hear you on the trying to add something physical into the daily mix. That is the thing with depression it just wears you down and the more you give into it the more it takes. I know I should be doing physical exercise to try to counteract that. I have read about all the brain chemistry benefits and stuff that exercise provides its just hard to find the motivation. Most of the time you just don’t care about getting better so its so hard to create any kind of routine and really stick to it.
MOOCs require discipline, for sure. I am a good student but I also find them hard to stick too. Maybe try enrolling in a brick-and-mortar class at a local university? It will force you to get up and leave your room at least and its easier to stick to.
I also want to write some stuff about concentration but I don’t have the time right now. I’ll write some more later.