I really wish I could end my life tonight. But doing that would be overreacting and too dramatic lol!!!!!!!!!
vwbeatles
Alone on Valentine’s Day again, as it has been my whole life. I wish I knew how to love myself, but it’s so hard. Most of the reason I feel suicidal is because I feel unloved. I know it’s just a feeling, an illusion. I have people all around me. But I can only focus on the ones who abandon and ignore me. It’s so much easier to feel pain than gratitude. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy.
I think I’ve reached my breaking point when it comes to forming relationships with people. My head feels so heavy, like thick black concrete forming a toxic sludge. No matter how much people tell me they care about me I can’t help but not feel that care. I can’t help but feel that they like someone else better, that I’ll alway be second best. I can’t help but think I will just die alone. I knew that if I were to just die today only my family would cry. And of course, I love my family. I am grateful for them. But there is something […]
I’m officially at the number zero of people I can talk about suicide with without making people triggered, uncomfortable, or being told I should seek help or call a hotline. I guess talking about it just makes it worse and just makes me want to do it even more! Because nobody wants to be friends with a sad *****, you might as well eliminate the sad ***** altogether and kill her off. In addition, I’m officially at the point of no longer making myself vulnerable to the point where I begin to contemplate these thoughts. Did I finally solve the puzzle as to why my […]