Just a friendly random topic to spark some interest. 🙂
I have changed so much in six years.
It amazes me that people from my past still recognize who I am.
But its clear that people only see the person I have shaped into.
I use to be quite shy, reserved, Â pretty much distant from people. No friends. You know, that one girl.
You will be surprised how far makeup, hair extensions and becoming anorexic can do for someone.
It changes people.
And its awful to say but it sometimes changes for the better.
Because now I am seen as “beautiful”.
If only they knew the frustration I went through to be this terrible conceded girl.
Its still painful.
Because you never can accept yourself. […]
“Hey did you hear about that bridge on road (insert address here)? Its apparently haunted. Yeah a girl committed suicide there. They say you can still hear the echo of her brain matter splatter when her head bounced off the pavement.”
Ok so i am dramatic but for the love of god I dont want to end up being that ONE place that all the drunken teenagers go to see “ghosts”.
This might seem a bit random and down right beside the whole point but has anyone ever thought about putting on like a favorite article of clothing on before you die?
I know its a really odd question but I had thought about it while passing over a bridge.
I figure. Why the hell not? I would go put on my favorite red stilettos and do a majestic leap of faith.
Lol I guess I would look good up until my face hit the pavement.
(Please take no offense in this,  I am  just sharing my crazy inner thoughts and treat this forum somewhat like a diary)
So here’s the thing.
Oct 3rd is when I get married and its coming up pretty fast. I know this should be a grandest time in my life but the truth is, I am just not that happy about it.
The man I am marrying is the greatest, generous person in the world. He really is just that wonderful.
But I cheated on him. :\
I am not going to make excuses for what I have done because I was fully aware of what I was doing and wanted to do.
I can honestly say I have never been a cheater. Even with all the shitty ass boyfriends I went […]
So today I am trying to buy me some more weed. I feel alittle bit better today. But I know its not from the pot. Granted, it does help SOME what, just not on the level I would like it to.
I had a very disturbing dream last night, which ended up with me sleeping on the most uncomfortable couch ever. Anywho, I dreamed that I was completely ready to die. I had wrote a ten page suicide note explaining why I could not live in constant lonely dispair anymore. I had the pages beside me and a 708 in my hand.
I loaded the chamber, pulled […]
So here recently the thoughts of suicide have been creeping back to my thoughts. And it looks pretty good at this moment.. Over the past couple of weeks I have done the most selfish thing I have ever done. I want go into any detail because its just to entirely long and complicated. I have been crying alot. Which is fine, because I really really do deserve to feel like shit.
Sometimes I really do want to die. Lately I have been driving without a seat belt, with hopes that I wreck. Its pathetic I know. But its the only thing I can think of […]
I do not understand why I keep coming back to this forum.. it is kind of morbid but its almost like being on this site makes me feel better when I get down. I read all these stories and they make me cry. But at the same time they give me some sort of comfort.
If this offends anyone. I do not mean to do so. Im only sharing my thoughts..