Here in California talking about suicide is basically a crime. A 5150 is police code for a person who is a danger to themselves or others. It also states that if someone cannot afford food or housing they are allowed to say they are a danger to themselves. This 5150 gives police a right to drag you away to a place where you cannot leave. It is prison even though they tell you it’s not. You don’t get an arrest record or anything like that though. They might also give you a bunch of medical debt. It could probably be tens of thousands of dollars. When you are actually in prison for a real crime and you become suicidal you are usually punished. They might put you in isolation. I feel all of this is very strange and the opposite of helpful. When I think about economics, I think about how less people means cheaper land and more affordable housing. Put that with the government harassing extremely sad people and you can see the picture I’m painting. They just want you to be a slave all your life and if you’d rather die then you’ll be abused if you can’t follow though with it. I just can’t believe what these poor people experienced here. Other states and countries that are opposite politically act the exact same by the way. I wish people were treated better. Nothing will ever change.
I would describe what is happening to me as luxury slave prison. There is currently no possible way to eat food without engaging with wage slaves. I cannot grow my own food because of the real estate industry and lack of any kind of regulation or programs. My contracts currently state I have to pay about $1600 per month to survive. Over a million for my entire shitty life. My job is hard manual labor because that is the only thing available which doesn’t even pay that. Other jobs are just taking advantage of others. I cannot find any possible way that I can fill my basic needs without some terrible fine print. Everyone is just a slave for others and themselves or they are the owners. The government won’t allow self-reliance. I have to support people being pushed into poverty. It’s just people trying to take advantage of others. Sometimes I feel like if it is done to me then I should do it to other people. Create fancy houses in poor areas and drive up the housing prices and put them into wage slavery even further than they already were. I want to use them for money because someone did that to me. They own me so why can’t I own others. It is so horrible that this is the mentality of the person who did it to me. They won. People are worth money so you can just control them and own their entire life. It was just so great when I could make meals and have free time and do fun activities. How do I get what I need without abusing people or getting abused? It’s impossible. My current plan is getting a degree for radiology, saving up and buying houses, improving the houses myself, and increasing the rent. Then once I have enough people then I can have free time and have a good life. But I’ll just feel so awful. I read an article about a pregnant lady who didn’t pay an xray bill and lived in a state where you go to jail for unpaid medical debt and she did and had her kid in prison. Real estate is just owning the people not the house. The food industry is ripping people off on prices and then they still can’t pay more to their employees because of costs like real estate and all the other stuff they need to operate. It’s so insanely horrible. I am genuinely fearful for my life. I am thankful for every breath and don’t want to die but I am just so sad of the state of the world and what is happening. A Japanese female boxer died of suicide and the method sounded so painless and easy. I don’t want that though. I currently stand with the wage slaves and it’s awful. Probably be awful if I become the owner. Why god why. You aren’t even here. Cruuule woooorld ahhhhhhahahahahahahahah fuck I am %100 sure that being suicidal is a completely normal reaction to existing on earth. People are numbing themselves and are very sad. You don’t need money you need better contracts. Real estate, job, food, health care. The policies are all trash. Fuck them all over and profit off of them. Just use other people. That’s what everyone has agreed to. Why would anyone care about my feelings? It doesn’t give them any benefits. The savior complex is a reason but it invalidates itself. Summery. Slavery is happening on a global scale, I don’t want to die but am afraid of suicide, there is little to no incentive to be nice to me or treat me like a person and that is reflected in the world around me. Just screaming into the void endlessly. Even if I am heard no change will happen. Go try and forget.