I’m so ready. I’m so ready. It’ll will just fade to black and I won’t have to pay rent or survival expenses ever again. Nobody will be using me anymore. I’ll just be at peace. Hopefully I can successfully stop eating and drinking. The worlds lack of compassion and hunger for greed could kill me in a week. None of the people on here wanted suicide. It was everyone else’s fault. It’s US.
I should just do it already. I hate waking up. I hate interacting with others. Im just being used and abused daily and its not possible to make it stop unless im dead. I wish you werent here so my life could be good. Stop making others do things for you. do it yourself.
I need private property in California, Oregon, Washinton, Nevada, Colorado very very bad. I am in a very bad place and if its not handed to me very cheap very soon then Im not gonna be around much longer. I dont wanna kill myself I really dont but there isnt really another option as far as I can see. If you know anything please help.
I can’t stand my life
I wanna die
can’t really find some will to live
i feel like shit
I wanna find someway out of this
just got the jist inside my mind
im out of licks
why do I find myself in this mess
I cant feel like this
why did I come across you
godda fine some way out my mind
godda find somebody to give me time
why can’t i reach you I’m blind
I juat want someone to know
I found myself
I juat want aomeone to knlw
I loat my home
I juat want someone tl hold
oh no i dont
i cant figure out my mind I knew I,was blind
I feel like I’m being constantly robbed of my life. It’s as if I’m a product rather than a human being. A source of income for another. The lack of control over my own life is constantly felt every day. I feel so confined and ripped apart. There is just no escape. I keep watching myself cut and it’s just like this is not normal. But I keep watching myself do it like it’s not actually me doing it. And really it’s not. It feels like a response to an overpowering system of oppression where I can’t control my surrounding and daily life. I am constantly doing something for someone else that I don’t want to do. I don’t want society anymore. I know survival is possible without it and I must get there.
I cant stand it. I just cannot take this life much longer. The things I am dealing with are not going to go away. It will be with me for life. I cant imagine 40+ more years of this. Its not possible to erase the past. Its too late. Why cant I leave. I need this life to end.
How is the world this demanding. How can I not survive. I just want my land and crops and nobody allowed in. I need isolation so bad. I hate money can can never be happy when its part of my life. I need to leave this earth. Why do I hold on to my family. Why do they want me here just to suffer. Please leave me alone. I hate this earth. I hate these humans. Get away from me. I will cut forever.
Please let me die. I hate this life. I hate waking up. I can’t stand being with all of these abusive monkeys anymore. I need it to end. make the pain stop please. im in so much pain
The abuse wont stop. I just wanna take my weed to make me feel better but jobs and housing wont let me or make me feel bad about it. They killed me by harrassing me for doing what I need to do to feel happy. I dont wanna live life like this. It would be great if everyone would just stop harrassing me but they never will. Please stop being mean.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
Hey. What’s up. I’m James. I have had a long period of suicidal issues. It started with loneliness, then the cutting, then saying ohhh I’m gonna do it. But as I grow older the loneliness part went completely away. I have so many people in my life constantly but I just don’t care. They just use me as a means of pleasure. Damned if you do damned if you don’t type situation. Yeah its how it is. How do I deal with it. Chemicals. Just some weed. It helps a ton but then it doesn’t because I can’t use it forever. Or maybe I could but I just can’t figure it out. I constantly tried to find an escape. Make the abuse of being used stop. Make my job stop. Make the payments stop. Make the rent. Stop. This is what would make me happy. Others not profiting on me. I have dreamed of finding a large boat and filling it with food and farms and all the stuff that I enjoy. Probably a pinball machine. And just sailing away. Of course I would build these things and never make anyone else do it. anyways Then I would be alone and nobody could ever bother me again. I could just sit and work for myself and my needs like food and fishing and silly things I think are funny. I have had the privilege of doing so much. And it made me worse. I don’t wanna be fancy. I don’t wanna be exclusive. And I don’t want sex. I would like to rest. A very deep rest. I have never seen or heard of a situation that warrants so much effort. A nice thing takes a lot of work. And the work is so hard that if I didn’t have to do the work then I would gladly not have the thing because then I could just rest. I feel I have little energy left. My power levels are low. I feel that I am at the center of a crazy government abuse scheme. My wife was raped and they didn’t do anything. Her brother died very young. Her parents can’t get legal documents to work. My aunt killed herself. My family who is privileged wastes are their money on boats, pills, and houses. My parents work for a college in texas thats primary funding come from depression pill manufacturing. They say, oh you’ll get better, you’ll get disability, you need to try this because there is something wrong with you. Oh and I get a huge cut from youre insurance and pharmacy bills. Oh and all the rent goes to a guy thats just sitting next to you in the same type of apartment accept he gets you to pay for his space. Wait its his house on the hill now. Gets paid to tell the poor foreigner to fix your pipes. Yeah. great. Wish I could do that. not wait maybe. u fucking nazi. This is what I faced and this is what killed me if I died. Others. I don’t belive anyone has ever commited suicide. It was done to them. Well maybe out of guilt or something but thats hardly ever the case. And even then. Why would anyone hurt others if they werent hurt first. Whats to learn from this? The people who are looking have zero power to even control their own lives let alone all this. Yeah IDK. I personally love this site because it feels like. Oh you can tell the world is bleeding too? Cool at least we can talk. At least we can feel each other existing.