The love. The joy. The happiness.. it is all gone now.. i have only a small amout of love in my heart left.. my heart is black.. it feels like its being stabed over and over again.. i just want to crawl into bed and never leave.. i want to sleep.. thats it.. all i want to do is get out of deer park and sleep.. i cant take this anymore.. and if one more person says that im being dramatic.. i will slit my throat right infront of them… im so sick of no one bleieving me. “oh cyndi cut the crap” “oh cyndi […]
last night had to be the worst night ive ever had. and ive had some bad nights. tuseday after school I was supost to be in extra help for science but i was so upset i didnt go. Instead i spent and hour walking around the school crying. i dont know where in the building i was cuz i was out of it. but i just cried and cried. i ended up in the auditorium at the last 5 min of extra help.. i sat there and cried some more. then the bell rang and i whiped my tears calmed down and walked outside. i didnt […]
Its the new year.. I survived the two worst years of my life. Butt the worst is yet to come. My dad still lives. I am happy that he lived to Christmas.. But.. Now i have to wait and continue to watch him die… I dont think anyone out there knows how much it hurts watching someone you love die.. Especialy your own father.. I sit in my room blasting music by Breaking Benjermin. I cry. I pray. I hope. And sadly.. I die.
My light has left my sole. And i know now it will never come back. I sit and think to myself. “Why am i still […]
My life was once full of joy and laughter. i would smile every day. but one day, my parents began fighting. And to a 14 year old girl it seemed really bad. My mother would cry everyday. My father would continue to drink and smoke as much as he could. I would begg him to stop.. he wouldnt listen to me.. no matter how much i begged and cried. At the age of 15 my mother and i left home for a week just to get into a pecefull inviernment, and then we went home.. 2 days after we got home.. the fighting began. It was 3 days before Christmas.. my mother told […]
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