Shits been going good, but it’ll come down soon. At some point, someone’s gonna keel over and I just fucking know it’ll be the end of me. I finally have most of what I wanted all my life and it’s not gonna last. I can speak at ease with my father, and I have friends to talk to. I have savings, a job, and my own skills. But sooner rather than later, someone is gonna die, and they won’t get to be there if I have kids, find a woman, enter a career, leave a legacy. All because whatever bastard made this world put everyone […]
Im 18 now, and that’s a big thing. Its big boy time, and im not ready. Get a car, pay for insurance move out, fix the energy crisis, have a family, be supportive, go to college, pay taxes. You know, big things. The issue is, how is a small thing like me supposed to deal with problems so big I cannot see them up close? What the hell do I have to do in order to continue as I am, rather than what my environment and my situation demands me to be?
Why does anybody value anything, when in the end, whatever item you may covet is just an assemblage of atoms that will eventually blow away on a cosmic wind. Why do we think so many things matter so much, when they’re just that. Pieces of the universe who’s only definite finctuon is too move from on point, position, and combination to another. Everything, on the most base the world’s levels, is the same, and therefor, none of it has any real value.
Why do I still care about anything?
How do people deal with the idea and the inevitable occurrence of death. What’s the drive to continue, to become better, if everything you or I make will eventually rot away and turn to dust, including our achievements, our stories, and our families? What point IS there to do anything, when others of done it better than you ever can?
So,this is my first post,and I hope it will be the last. My dad is in terrible shape. He smokes,he’s admittedly very overweight,he has a bad back and a bad heart,and it’s a true and terrifying thought that he could drop dead at any moment,and he’ll leave me forever. I can’t stand what he does to himself,it’s as is he wants to die and leave me and my brother and sister. I never want to leave his side because I’m afraid something will happen and I won’t be there to help him. Every morning I get to wake up every morning to him waking me […]