I hate waking up to a new day.
I loath the way people smile in the mornings.
I can’t stand the sun shining, too much light.
I pass the day watching the clock, waiting for the daylight to end.
Darkness brings peace.
Darkness brings quiet.
In the dark, problems fade.
i took some pills earlier. i was supposed to just take one, i took seven. i wasn’t even thinking when i took them. i only realized after the fact. what the hell is wrong with me/
People always say things would be better in the morning. They aren’t. I wake up and feel the same way and have the same problems. I wish i was dead. I wanted to die last night, and realized that I threw my pills down the toilet a few months ago. I stopped the meds the doctors gave me, so, I had nothing to take. They were anti depressants. I can’t even cut myself, because, I can’t stand the smell of blood. There isn’t a tall enough building around to jump off, and getting transport now is a *****. I can’t get into any of the […]
do I have friends? If I come out, they look at me differently. Weird looks. Is she crazy? They don’t know what to say, so brush it off, cause they don’t understand or really don’t care. Some of them show a glimmer of fear. God stopped listening, cause I am still in limbo, with no where to go. What have I done so wrong for the world to turn it’s back to me?
I so need to sleep. I can’t. I wish I could close my eyes and never open them again.
My counselor told me to write a journal. Then give someone I trust to read it. The thing is, I didn’t say I trust no one. There is someone I do kinda trust. I know he wouldn’t have the time to read it though. He’s a cop, and married with kids. He can’t carry it home. He can’t read it at work. So when then.
I’m worried that he might judge, or be over sympathetic after first being horrified that children actually go through shit, and people still walk around after pain.
I was molested by my brother. He was abused everyday by a schizophrenic mother. I […]
I wonder, do you feel cold. I do.
I wonder, are you behind a glass wall in a crowd. I am.
My life feels like a grain of salt in the sand.
In a soundproof glass box.
They can’t hear me.
I feel as a bit of smear in the vastness.
Don’t touch me.
Don’t stand close to.
Don’t talk to me.
Life is better in a book.
Darkness is heavenly.
So I don’t sleep at night.
Daylight, too many people.
I need to hide.
I am alone in my self imposed lonely room
HI. I’m new here. I don’t really know how to open up just yet. The only thing keeping me fro killing myself, I’ll be honest, is my dog. My depression is a daily thing. I hate myself. I don’t believe it when someone compliments me. I’m tired. Of everything. I wish the ground could swallow me up. I don’t know what to do anymore. No one understands.
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