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For general topics related to the site.

to my parents

by candyapple 4/22/2014

written by candyapple

i know we have a business empire. and i know that you’re looking to your kids as the future leaders of the business, but i want you to know, before i leave, that there is something much much more important than our business.

although i am very thankful that you have built it up to be what it is, maybe it’s time to look at your kids and really see how they are feeling. personally, i feel nothing but disappointment and neglect. disappointment because i know that i have not yet reached the dreams and expectations you have of me. neglected because rather than really look […]

4/22/2014 4 comments

ironic

by candyapple 4/22/2014

written by candyapple

Someone told me not to give up. Funny thing is..he was the one who gave up on me.

4/22/2014 4 comments

by Kallian 4/22/2014

written by Kallian

it wouldn’t surprise me if we all had some sort of implants in our head, or trackers or something…it seems like I’m always being watched.

I bet there’s someone whose job it is to monitor me, and they’re reading this. Hello friendly monitor, how’s it going?

4/22/2014 5 comments

Too fast overstrung

by Engeltje 4/22/2014

written by Engeltje

I’m so overstrung, that even doing a small thing is too much. Even going out of bed, eating and dress myself is already too much on a day. If i do a little bit more, such as playing a game with my mom, walking a little while or having a therapy session, I’m completely broken after it. And the following three days I can’t do anything, because I’m so tired overstrung by that one activity I did. Really makes me sick, that I just can’t do a single activity. How will I ever get better then?

4/22/2014 5 comments

SotiredIcan’tthinkofatitlethatdoesn’tsoundstupid

by purplepain 4/22/2014

written by purplepain

I have a dilemma. A dilemma that makes me doubt my reasons for wanting to die sometimes.

1) I feel a certain fear towards actually going through with it. Which makes me feel like a coward. Does it make me one?
2) Some would say I (we) am a coward for thinking about suicide, for not standing up to life and it’s challenges.

Am I? Are we? Which one is it?

Feeling lost,
PURPLEPAIN

4/22/2014 5 comments

Planned suicide for months, don’t think it will work. Plus a secret

by davediamond2014 4/22/2014

written by davediamond2014

Method : ******** gas using exit bag.

Believe it or not I have implants, the schizophrenic kind…voices but also complete control of my motor functions. Also hi-tech nanobots both in my brain acting as neurotransmitters to control mood (permant suicidal feelings), and in my body to electrocute me. if these don’t make you kill yourself, what will?

Got the ******** tank and even drilled hooks into wall to restrain me, given I’m a robot (fuck!), even had neck restraint planned. Tried to inhale for 25 second out of inflated eit bag, and didn’t even feel light headed. It’s SUPPOSSED to knock me out after just five seconds! […]

4/22/2014 6 comments

SOMETIMES ALL YOU HAVE IS YOUR WORD

by bryan higgins 4/22/2014

written by bryan higgins

But sometimes it takes self sacrafice for a better of a world .or family to see that as long as you do things with a pure heart .you are above mans law …but maybe the madera county probation dept will think about my loss and my story that will not die .when I do ..FATHER I MISS U AND IM COMING HOME TODAY …IF ITS YOUR WILL..what I do in spirit was to full fill ur survival. …

4/22/2014 0 comment

Broken

by AngeredSoul 4/22/2014

written by AngeredSoul

I’ve decided to create an account today, because it is my final attempt to have my voice heard. Efforts will be made to console and reassure me that the world of hell that I’ve been imprisoned in for twenty-two years is worth living; I’m beyond approach. I’m a girl who was born into a highly dysfunctional family, to a mother who showed nothing more than apathy towards me, to a fatherless home. That’s not why I’m here. My upbringing didn’t bring me to the place that I’m at right now.

My mother died when I was in twelfth grade and the depression and underlying psychological […]

4/22/2014 3 comments

I can’t be this anymore.

by Azu 4/22/2014

written by Azu

I’ve always been the caring person who was always there for others.
Yet that has been haunting me.
Somehow because of that people end on blaming me.
I’ve been used by people for just anything whenever they were done with my help they ditched me until they needed me again.
Can someone help me changing that?

4/22/2014 5 comments

How do I delete my account?

by mossm2 4/22/2014

written by mossm2

Information please

4/22/2014 3 comments

Cold, Dark Death

by Frozen In Time 4/22/2014

written by Frozen In Time

Oh why, oh why
Must our loved ones tear us apart
Oh why, oh why
Do they not take us to heart

Sorrow and guilt
Shall haunt their minds
Sorrow and guilt
Until the end of time

Cold, dark death
Please grace this poor soul
Cold, dark death
Beg you; consume me whole

Frozen In Time

4/22/2014 0 comment

Mess

by Hala212 4/22/2014

written by Hala212

Why do i always make such a mess of everything, best friend yeah she hates my guts right now because of something small i did, , my bf has made me feel im unworthy of love and my parents constantly express their disappointment in me. Everything i try to do i mess up or screws up for me, why should i even bother.

4/22/2014 4 comments

Just don’t do it guys..

by plum 4/22/2014

written by plum

the only thing multiple overdoses, slicing my body to shreds And smacking my head against walls has done is bring negativity. any problems of insecurity I had have gotten worse from the amount of scars I have and the vomiting has fucked my body shape. the overdosing has made me get sick often and feel “not all there”.

not only is my physical body suffering from that but my soul is to. The more you lose the battle the more of yourself you lose… And all I can say is from the time I’ve spent reading, meditating.. this isn’t as bad as it gets.. I can […]

4/22/2014 9 comments

Red lines

by The_red_fairytale 4/22/2014

written by The_red_fairytale

Little girls, little boys, crying in the corner why can’t you see?
the words written on your skin.
These the words that make you bleed.
they make it so no one wins or succeeds.
All alone in the world, that’s how you see.
that’s how it might be.

So sacred, you want to be left alone.
but it’s so addicting, the things we can create.
The words written, the words hidden.
under jeans and sweaters too big.
this is the life we live.

The cuts, the red lines so addicting
the days so stressful, and cruel
Parents screams, telling you what’s wrong with you.
our only escape, […]

4/22/2014 0 comment

Thoughts

by themusical 4/22/2014

written by themusical

I should be careful and not come here too often…

I’ve been quite depressed, lacking hope and feeling generally worthless yadda yadda, uninspired to do anything but wallow in self pity.

Being so full of hate that I even learned how to tie a noose.

That made me feel better.

Because although we can all theoretically end it all when we want, it is often quite difficult. Not everyone has handy drugs in the closet. Some will just have to do it the tried and true old school way.

So it’s not always comforting enough to think: well hold on one more day because you can always end it, because […]

4/22/2014 2 comments

I’m not alone

by friendlyfire01 4/22/2014

written by friendlyfire01

So why does it feel like I am? Outwardly I try so damn hard every single day to make them smile, to make you smile. My only thoughts are of yours, my sweet Maria. When I turn inward, numbness is all. None of this is your fault.

I have been distant all my life. Not ugly, or fat, or picked on in any way. I separated myself from others as a matter of course. We had no connection, whatever they felt around me was lost on me. Social cues, meaningless, friendships, tossed aside. I care about nothing. I’m watching my fingers type and know that this […]

4/22/2014 0 comment

I feel so terribly scared.

by Ifeelsoscared 4/22/2014

written by Ifeelsoscared

Hello I am a 19 year old girl and feel so terribly scared. I am currently in a clinic. I am no longer with my family because they abused me. I just wanna die. I feel so terribly alone. Every second, every minute, all I ever see is fear and feel pain. The people here in the clinic are nice but I feel like they don’t understand me. Besides they don’t seem to know how to deal with me. I have panick attacks all the time and my body jerks whilst I remember horrible memories in my head which I just can’t turn off. My […]

4/22/2014 3 comments

newbie

by candyapple 4/22/2014

written by candyapple

Seriously considering the charcoal method suicide..read about it online..it seems like the most painless way to go.

Is anybody here from the Philippines?..

4/22/2014 10 comments

I’m Finished

by danlesmiz 4/22/2014

written by danlesmiz

I’ve been struggling for so long now.Â The depression started at age 13 and never ceases.Â At age 17 I attempted suicide and after nearly needing a liver transplant, I survived.Â I committed to give it several more years to see if it gets better.Â It doesn’t.

My life is easier than 99% of the world.Â I wish I could take my life and let a North Korean have my opportunity.Â I’m fairly good looking, smart, and athletic; but I never cease wishing I were dead.Â I know I was happy as a kid, but I can’t really remember it.Â It’s been so long.Â Many people […]

4/22/2014 2 comments

Loss of a son

by lostchild445 4/22/2014

written by lostchild445

She says I never had it
This dark cloud above my head
Because the pills didn’t make it better
It’s all inside my head

Of course it’s in my head I say
Depression isn’t just chemical imbalance
It’s a mentality
A way of living
A way that’s mine forever

Just get over it
You’ve got nothing to be depressed about
Just think happy thoughts
And tell us if you’re going to hurt yourself

Your words hurt more than any blade
No razor on earth can amount to the pain
Your words have caused me

It’s not a simple scratch
There’s no pretending it’s not there

4/22/2014 0 comment

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