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My Last Breathe…

by Alayna 5/7/2013

written by Alayna

I long to take my last breathe… but compared to before things have been better.

All my life I am left alone never friends with anyone for more than a year at most, they always leave…my family, i wouldnt even know where to start, they don’t love me they told me so

I keep expecting to wake up one morning and find everyone i love gone, telling me they never want to see me again, and I dont think I could handle it…not now when I need them most.

I wonder if I should just end it –Take my last breathe– before they hurt me first…

but I can’t…and […]

5/7/2013 1 comment

Daily Themesong

by orangish 5/7/2013

written by orangish

And…

Ah, there we go.

5/7/2013 0 comment

Does Anybody ?

by myowndestruction 5/7/2013

written by myowndestruction

does anybody know that alone feeling ? that feeling of feeling worthless the feeling of wanting to cry all the time because you are lost you dont know where you belong. you try to smile and laugh try to pretend to be happy but deep down inside you are screaming out screaming to be heard for them to see that all you long for is a hug that will make you feel so safe. crying these tears for no apparent reason, i feel empty i am a walking dead soul i look in the mirror and i dont see who i am . i see […]

5/7/2013 3 comments

Is anyone serious?

by blackfox 5/7/2013

written by blackfox

Is anyone here serious about ending their life?

It’s so much easier to do it with someone, not alone. Even enjoyable probably…

I’m just sick and tired of looking for excuses to not do it every day for many years…

5/7/2013 7 comments

I Don’t.

by orangish 5/7/2013

written by orangish

I don’t initiate conversations.

I don’t call people.

I don’t really care.

Yet I’m frustrated as all hell about it.

Really, I think I should just set myself on fire in the yard.

Return all the carbon and nutrients I’m wasting back to the dirt.

Instead, I’ll go back to organizing the insane junk heap in the basement and creating a space that doesn’t make me want to bash my head into walls whenever I have to look at it.

Because I’m sure that’ll help.

5/7/2013 15 comments

So low

by Sam 5/7/2013

written by Sam

I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to hate myself. I don’t want to cut. I don’t want to starve myself. I don’t want to push everyone away. I don’t want to be tired. I don’t want to be afraid of myself.

I want to be happy. I want friends. I want to be loved. I want to love myself. I want to be happy with the way I look. I want to stop making my parents worry. I want to live.

You learn really early in life that you never get what you want so we settle for what […]

5/7/2013 8 comments

My first

by kidsuicide 5/7/2013

written by kidsuicide

I still remember it.
As if it was just the other day.. But it wasn’t.. It was a while ago. But I still remember. My first kiss.

We hung out a lot that summer.. Doing a whole lot of nothing.. But just being with her gave me a good feeling.. Sometimes we’d play video games, listen to music, watch movies.. Or just sit and talk.. I miss those days.. Before everything became so complicated..

She had a thing for bitting.. She bit my ear a lot.. Eventually moving onto biting my nose.. When ever shed go to bite my nose, I’d tilt my head up slightly to […]

5/7/2013 6 comments

Why is perverted ness not accpected in the World? Am I just too off beat?

by animerocks500 5/7/2013

written by animerocks500

I am a bit off, when I was younge my father raped me. But I do not hate my father for rapeing me or making me watch porn, I am a bit up set for not being able to be completely innocent but I do not hate my father , in fact I am abit sorry for him for being as perverted as me with the male gender. Ever since I can rember I have Dream of porn or sex dreams. I have dream of being abused and watching other people getting abused. At one point I felt horrible for having a dirty mind, I […]

5/7/2013 5 comments

Not good nuff

by kidsuicide 5/7/2013

written by kidsuicide

If I was just a bit skinnier.. Just a bit smarter.. Just a bit funnier.. Maybe, just maybe, she’d like me more then him.. But I’m not. And she doesn’t.
Just the thought of her with him makes me wanna overdose on my antidepressants. She is my world. My everything. And my everything has left and now I’ve got nothing. Which leads me to believe there’s nothing left to live for. Nothing to let go. So why the fuck is it so fucking hard to do so?

Why can’t I walk away from nothing when my everything just walked away from me? Why can’t I just […]

5/7/2013 2 comments

Let it all go

by kidsuicide 5/7/2013

written by kidsuicide

I wish I could restart like a video game. Start over new so I could do everything differently. Every time I turn on my iPod every song I listen to has memories attached to them. I don’t want these memories any more.

I just want to forget the past and let go of this pain. This pain is like a rope that won’t hang me, instead it holds me back, stopping me from moving on.
I just want to let go of the past. The memories. The pain they cause.
I just want to move past this.

I don’t care how I do it, weather it’s with […]

5/7/2013 2 comments

Deep cuts..

by kidsuicide 5/7/2013

written by kidsuicide

The knife cuts deep. Blood starts to rush out. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it, he just knows that the pain feels oh so good. It makes him feel alive. It helps him know that he hasn’t gone completely numb. That some parts of him still have feeling left long after its left everywhere else.

Not that it matters anymore.

This probably wasn’t the best time or place for it, but he didn’t feel like there was a time or place for anything anymore. Everyone else had fell asleep a long time ago, and his dad had left for work, so he’d been left to himself. […]

5/7/2013 2 comments

Depression is burying me

by Narya 5/7/2013

written by Narya

I’m in my early 20s now and I’ve survived a tough teenage, including several suicidal attemps. I’ve always been an “alternative” girl, listening to non commercial music, not wearing fashionable cloths, not going to the disco, not smoking/bingedrinking/fucking with everyone around. This fact made my life more complicated and allowed a lot of people to talk shit about me and bully me. I’ve tried several times to convince myself that my being unique should be a reason good enough to live, but it didn’t last too long. My family is a normal one, but my parents don’t support me, don’t like what I do and […]

5/7/2013 0 comment

here and here to go

by serena 5/7/2013

written by serena

yelling: you wanted me dead everyone does i canot let this go i cant i love you

5/7/2013 0 comment

what is wrong..

by serena 5/7/2013

written by serena

people want to act like there all big and bad but really in the inside there small and little and and i cant wait i iam not scared i am putting my self oout there i want to scream and i want to cry and let my anger and sadness out why i want to yell and wht did i do for this i owant to bleed because in reality ill be bleeding out what i feel but i dont want to let my love down he is the most important thing to me i hope hes not using me when i cut myself on […]

5/7/2013 0 comment

AtTheEnd

by Tormenting Dreams 5/7/2013

written by Tormenting Dreams

dear AtTheEnd- im not going to judge you, seriously i dont judge you. being on a site like this with some many pretty girls does drive ones libido up, and yes its nice to look at the nude body of someone you know. and hey i flirt around and act a perv, and yeah i have had people send me nude pics. but i didnt pester them as much as i have heard you have done. and until recently i thought you were only doing it to one girl but now i know you have done it to several and probably still are. WT and […]

5/7/2013 44 comments

.

by Bella-omy 5/7/2013

written by Bella-omy

I have an empty, but knotted feeling in my stomach. It almost makes me want to cry. I’m being constantly ignored when I need to talk. It’s almost as if I want to talk to someone, no ones here. The more I write, the more I get that feeling. I hate it. I can’t say why though. Why I’m so, so.. I don’t know. I just want to die. If life just stays in a negative path, what’s the point of living. I’m known as one of the oldest veterans on Suicide Projects, maybe I won’t be a veteran anymore..

5/7/2013 1 comment

Meh.

by Engie 5/7/2013

written by Engie

Thought I had something important to say. I lost my job a few months ago. Redundancy. Which should be shit, but I hated it anyway, and everyone I worked for, and redundancy is the best way to leave a job.

Anyway, I wanted to type something meaningful, but the only phrase going through my head is “fuck it” so I don’t anticipate anyone getting many nuggets of wisdom out of this post.

I dreamed about putting a gun in my mouth last night. The barrel tasted of bourbon. Wish it were real. Not out of any need for attention or anything, I’m just tired. I think I’ve […]

5/7/2013 1 comment

is this the end?

by kristink 5/7/2013

written by kristink

had a good day at work today. then-a wave of despair comes over me out of nowhere and i am bawling by the time i get home. just like someone flicked a switch or something. feeling very detached . don’t want to see anyone. don’t want to talk to anyone. don’t want to exist. my self imposed isolation has served to make me wary of people. but i hide in plain sight. feel myself slipping away. i am so damned tired. my body is aching , like i have been beaten up again. don’t know if it is depression or the meds. probably some combination […]

5/7/2013 0 comment

Don’t Get It

by Brown Girl 5/7/2013

written by Brown Girl

Over a year ago I lost my sister to suicide and I still don’t get why she did it. She did not leave a note and I don’t remember there being any sign of her wanting to kill herself. It was not the first time she had attempted to kill herself, in fact it was the 3rd time. The kicker of it all though is that each time she attempted I was the one who found her.
They always say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but I don’t want to handle this, I’d rather have her here […]

5/7/2013 1 comment

living or suffering?

by b1urr 5/7/2013

written by b1urr

i suffer from:

depression
social anxiety
trichotillomania
anorexia
self harm
severe self loathing
daily (hourly) suicidal thoughts

and i’d say all of these have been keeping me from living my life the way i want to, they cause me to hurt others emotionally, and they’ve all been getting worse. i don’t know if i consider what i’m doingÂ living,Â but rather merely staying alive; always wishing to drop dead any second.

5/7/2013 1 comment

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