General

my entire body hurts. i cant eat anything. i just want to sleep forever.

please i will do anything. i literally can’t breathe right now. i cant live like this. i dont know what to do. please i would give anything.

First of all, I’m from the Netherlands. I’m 21 and my asperger + OCD is a majure struggle and a fight for me every day. To be honest I think I’m a real big survivor for dealing with it for so long now. I feel like I’m all tight up in knots and I can’t unwrap them anymore and there only come more and more knots during the time I’m still here. Just when I think I just can’t take it anymore and it seems unbearable, I still survive, feel like I can do it again but then the even bigger hard moments comes across and […]

i want to crawl into a hole. i am completely empty. i dont know what to do. there has to be something i can do. ugh i thought i needed to rant on here. im so empty. i cant form more sentences.

Love: marriage, a legal institution frequently ending in divorce, child support payments, alimony, and other legal consequences. Why the hell would gay people want anything to do with this nonsense? Why would straight people want anything to do with this nonsense?

Freedom: citizenship, a legal institution where a person is trapped into a system of taxation and regulation which often ends in insurmountable debt obligations to private corporations. Why would anyone want anything to do with this nonsense?

Civilization: fuck you. Why would anyone want anything to do with this nonsense?

i cant live like this  and im sorry  .ill stick it out as long as i can but im getting lost and home sick GOD    ..You have given me all my worldly desiresy wants needs and thank  ..you .i dont feel like i deserve to be judged by man  unless i may judge them  ..i keep going back to the mirror theory   ..Also Jesus and his 12 were all murdered and killed   by the state  maybe its in our blood    ..i cant change the past  and only You GOD have the rite to judge me  and my health comes from u […]

Hey everyone Jladd here or formally known as Jojo I would like to apologize to all of you that commented on only recent post offering your advice and thought and in which I rudely commented back on with out understanding. I am sincerely apologizing and I know this is no excuse but I’ve had a really rough week due to custody battles with my sister and brothers, but again that is no excuse to take it out on you guys.

If I were to look at things black and white, my life really shouldn’t be that bad; at 24 y.o. I have a good job, good friends and appear to live comfortably. But every day I cannot escape the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, worthlessness and shame. (I could elaborate as to why, but what does it matter)

Tonight, I came as close as I ever have to attempting to end my life – only resulting in the aforementioned feelings worsening, and an embarrassing conversation with the police having to explain why I was driving so fast.

Sitting here now, my head is so full with thoughts, yet […]

My original plan was to jump off the golden gate bridge. However, it’s on the other side of the country and will be a year or longer until I can get out there. Now I’m contemplating the mackinac bridge. It doesn’t have a pedestrian walkway, so that poses an issue. I could just drive halfway, ditch the car and jump. This bridge is much closer to me. 4-5 hours I think. I could go anytime. The downfall is I wanted to see California but if the outcome of either place is the same (death) then I guess it doesn’t really make a difference does it? […]

I have been alone for so long being depressed has become normal I take medication to stop me losing control I am alone and all I want is someone to be here for me I want to be in love and I want to feel good about myself.

I have never been happy

I watched a video about how the brain reacts to falling in love. It Made me realise that all my problems depression anxiety loneliness are caused through the lack of love in my life. I completed an engineering degree in 2011 started taking anti depressants in 2006 and have suffered from depression my whole life. I am lonely and so shy I find it extremely difficult to approach others . I am so alone and miserable I want to kill myself no one loves me and I am afraid I will be alone and miserable for my entire life.

I love but no one loves me

i really can’t. im too far broken. now, because he is completely irrational, i will never see him again. he knows i never ever wanted to call the police on him and i told them specifically there is nothing violent going on, i just need him to leave. why couldn’t he have just let me gone to sleep?! i did not want to call the police! he knows that! there are so many things that he said that are not true, they’re just what he believes. i feel destroyed. i wish i had more benedryll so i could just sleep my life away. i have […]

Depression is something that puts us on hold for a better day. It puts us in suffering for a while so that when we get through it, we’ll feel the relief by being happy again. Unfortunately, some of us don’t make it to the ‘rainbow’ stage of depression, and use suicide as the way out.

The ‘Rainbow’ stage will come one day people, even if this ‘rain’ stage has been going on for years upon overwhelming years. It’s YOU that has to make the change, motivating yourself is the key. Never give up, only when pigs fly and when comic characters have feelings.

I am still living after that day, The day the screaming was loudest that day where the voices won that day. Ever since then I have been numb no feelings, no emotions, just nothing. I have seen a friend get hurt one I like a lot and I can’t help, I told her my feelings and she still does this around me. When she does I leave my apt and ask nothing of them I just leave crying in my mind cause tears can’t fall from my eyes cause my body is tired of it, I am numb cause of it. I told her that she […]

im living in a dark dank place

with no clere way out

the dark things all arownd me

and with ocd stille

ill kill all my self off

and let them wach

then when im dead and gon ill let them finsh me

so no knoe will no were i whent

and try to find me

ill diy like i livd my life

bulled cold and alone

i fell iv come to see the apocalips of my life

was the simpull day stuggl

that has ruld my life

Is there anyone from the Scandinavia or so?

I really need someone to talk or write with. I’m a cutter and i hate my life. (Btw, i’m a boy. 21 yo)

If anyone does, just type their email please.

Thank you for your attention and time.

Otherwise…

I’m sorry for wasting it.

It’s not fair that some people have to suffer so much.  :'(

I’m breaking…  I need my life to change but it’s been bad bad bad and worse for the last 30 years.  How do you keep going on when you no longer have hope that things will get better?

Please don’t say “everything will get better”, “just take it one day at a time” because I’ve heard all that way too often and it really doesn’t mean anything. Things *haven’t* gotten better;  it’s only gotten worse.  Which is why I’m here.

When someone asks ‘how are you’ it seems easier to say ‘ I’m good’ rather than ‘horrible, I’m just really good at putting on a fake smile’