life is a gift but being free is living

i cant live like this  and im sorry  .ill stick it out as long as i can but im getting lost and home sick GOD    ..You have given me all my worldly desiresy wants needs and thank  ..you .i dont feel like i deserve to be judged by man  unless i may judge them  ..i keep going back to the mirror theory   ..Also Jesus and his 12 were all murdered and killed   by the state  maybe its in our blood    ..i cant change the past  and only You GOD have the rite to judge me  and my health comes from u  Lord    tell my last breath i will always be yours God    respectfully yours for life i also need relocation sometime soon   ic