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After a bad broke down today my day was suprising good … hope my night is good too(please be good)
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1000 feet 900 feet going down dont know what to do losing controle no that happund along time ago 500 feet my life is like this all day evrey day i whant to hane on but its harder and harder to do down down down bang crunch the sond of shering metel and bolts brake berst bons braking blood floowing its so hard if i gust had a bath and sleept rest finly all the wate on me gon for good floting…………..
Iv suffered with depression my hole life, but if you knew my story maybe you would understand?
I have tried suicide 3 times in my life. first was wen i was 12 it was a O.D attempt. second i was 14 and it was the closet Ive came to death, it again was a o.d. and lastly i was 16 it again was a another overdose. i guess i just thought going to sleep was the most painless way to go. just falling asleep and dieing just sounded so peaceful to me.
sense the day i was born my parents were addicted to drugs. first it was […]
With all my procrastination expunged from my very soul, desire diminished to the very bare requirements unable to muster effort for the simplest of menial corporeal tasks, all hope reduced to infinitesimal proportions the time must finally be at hand. A calm settles the spirit like never before, 2 roads perceived in all probable possibility one swift the other swifter a 3rd emerges to laminate potential by diminishing ones self once more to perpetuate the lucid mare that besieges me still.
Nay be the rallying cry to concede to pestilence not of my own, condemning my struggle to the inevitable I idolize in my sullen ways. […]
I’m so alone. I’m constantly trying to find a reason to stay, a talent, a person who cares, or even a sign. I’m willing to believe anything at this point. There’s something wrong with me, I know there is. I feel as if I’m a compulsive liar who is just hungry for attention. At this point, I don’t want attention. I don’t want pity. I don’t have the problems everyone always assumes you have  to be sad about and I think that’s why I feel like this sadness is all in my head. I have every reason to be happy they say, even though to […]
The strangest and weirdest thing about recovery is comparing who you are now to who you were before. It is also one of the most amazing and yet bitter-sweet and almost heartbreaking things.
About a year ago, the suicidal thoughts fully took hold of me, they’d been there for a year or maybe more, but I’d been preoccupied with various other things and hadn’t really given the idea of taking my own life very much thought. But for whatever reason, last March I became completely filled with a desire to fall off the face of this earth. To begin with, it was a case of wanting […]
I’m so angry all the time. Every time I see a person I feel like punching them in the face. I think it’s my minds way of coping with feeling left out and alone. Instead of being sad and feeling miserable, I’m mad and violent. I don’t think it’s a good solution. One of these days I’m going to snap, and hurt someone. Someone innocent. A good person. Someone who isn’t like me.
I wasn’t always like this. Once, I was happy. I was friendly.
But now.. I’m angry. Just so angry.
I honestly did not expect this I had a really bad day yesterday really bad I ended up smoking and drinking again normally I would be mad at myself. I promised my boyfriend I would quit because he thinks it not a good way to cope I know he’s right. I just sometimes don’t care because I hurt really not an excuse just my reasoning. I full of bad ideas but people always tell me I act like there is nothing to lose. I have one thing I could lose and came very close to last night I’m pretty sure he’s the only thing keeping me alive […]
If you could save yourself,
you could save us all.
Go on living, prove us wrong.
Your leap of faith could be a well-timed smile.
Survival never goes out of style.
A simple rule: every day be sure you wake.
It sounds so like school or work, like a task something you have to do! I guess I wouldn’t be here if it was something I didn’t feel I had to do, right? So bravo for aptly naming this sight, lol. Thank you!
Why someone might ask, well maybe, at least for me it is just deserts. To me my whole existence has been a search for significance a reason to exist, and ultimately all I come up with is the ability to push people away thinking if I can remain unattached that I will never hurt. If I can remain aloof and unfeeling no […]
There’s so much pain on this website. I wonder what would happen if we all left our lives to live on some island together, start anew. Would our situations improve? Would many of us find we no longer dream of killing ourselves, surrounded by people who understand? Or would our society end up very similar to this one? Put a bunch of people together, even those that seem similar, and you’re still going to have some friction.
I feel like I’ve been whiny lately. Sorry if I’m annoying. I should probably post less. I do listen to what […]
It’s an oxymoron; I know. Because by definition a suicide note is representative of something horrible, and the word perfect means lacking in flaws or defects: so you really cannot have a perfect suicide, can you? I don’t know if it’s possible or not. But I want to come as close as I can. My name is Rachel. I am seventeen years old. Some might say I have my whole life ahead of me, but one day really soon, I am going to commit suicide. What follows is a draft of my suicide note. Read it. Comment. Help me make it perfect.
If you are reading this, […]
its snowing here…
and its snowing in my head i can no longer stand it i wnt kill myself because i cant…
its painful my mum threatens to put me into care just because she cnt deal with being a mother..
even when i dnt shout she doesnt listen..
a normal parent takes you away from your siblings and calmly talks to you..
but no she shoutes abuse and swears and emotionally abuses my heart and soul..
im scarred ..as for my sisters….ones my step sister i thought we wud get along and we do but she doesnt care no matter how much i stand up for her she never ever […]
Makena. I love you more than life itself, i put so much trust into you. i put it all in for you, i have never loved anyone or anything the way i love you, i didn’t have to be a strong man because you were strong for me, i think of all the moments we have shared together. You kept me from drinking you showed me how to be in love. for 2 years i have loved you more than anything. Now its all gone and you don’t even care. I am in pieces and you are just fine did 2 years not mean a […]
Sitting here, all I really want to do is paint these walls red. Noth with the blood of mine enimies, but of the blood of myself. I want everyone to witness the blood, the pain, and my suffering. Let them try and wash the blood from these walls and their clothes.
I’d finally end it, but I’m scared that I’d mess up and live and everyone would resent me more than they already do.
Every where i go i feel embarassed and like im being judged and im probly not but i believe it. My sister always yells at me and gets mad at me for no reason and i have to blow it off cause i get in trouble if i yell back cause shes older. If i go to church then the girls there think i wear to much makeup and think i wear low tank tops. I try and make everybody happy but its like i can never be happy cause im making everybody else happy. Everyday i fight myself when i want to cry and […]
this god damn depression began 1 april 2012 , first it was hypochondria and big stress about health issues but than it evolved into something more sinister than I expected – depression . In june 1st i stopped feeling anything at all I began to feel empty , stopped going out with friends I played all thay long games at the PC , and some of my friends stopped calling me… Than after 2 months playing games 15hr/day I looked at the mirror at my skinny body, pale skin , and thought what the fuck is happened this psychosis destroyed me. I’ve lost some of […]
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
So I’ve had suicidal thoughts most of my life, and they were never really this bad before, but lately, the last few months, it’s been an almost constant companion in my head. It’s gotten so bad it’s really all I can think about. I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
What’s really not helped is I feel my partner of three years slipping away and nothing I do helps. He’s always so busy, weeks go by without seeing him. I wanted us to spend his easter break together, get away for a day trip or something and reconnect. Just some alone time, but […]