General

need to die going to die (hopefully soon) also ganna fuck up my wrists with a knife later..damn ganna love death i know it will be better then this

I am sorry that I fucked he’s mind up.

He got too close to me, and I just got scared.

Cuz I know he wouldn’t understand.

The more I over think

The more bitter I sence to become

I am a coward

I may be a first impression

but inside

I just want to cry

I may seem to be a *****

but I am terrified

I pushed him away so he wouldn’t get hurt

Mind games

I know how they work.

I am a master on observing

If you’re alone like me for many years

then yea

I hope you understand

Being the only child

Since you were 1 years old

then you should know

I should be lucky

but I am not.

It hurts

Caring for him except myself

for years

thinking he was family

and now he just […]

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I just don’t know how much longer I can go on. Things change so fast. I love my family and I love my daughter. There is always something to worry about, and to be honest everything would just be better without me around. Now if I were to leave, many people would be upset, I just wish I were never born. Before I was born my mother had a still born baby. If she were born, I never would have been. I know there is a reason I was born. I believe it was probably just to give […]

Do you hate yourself? Do you have thoughts that run in your head over and over until you have to say them out loud? Thoughts like, I am worthless, I am dirt, I am ugly, I am an idiot, nobody cares about me and if I live or die, or the worst thought of all: you should just go ahead an kill yourself. Do you feel completely alone? Do you question the motives of those who want to get close, do you even try to drive them away? Do you blame yourself for everything, including things that should not be your fault? Do you hurt […]

I found the box. Opened it and searched it… It hurts… I didn’t know pain would hurt this much. I didn’t know the guilt would hurt more than I moved away. I wish to forget everything completely. I wish to wipe it out of my mind, so i wouldn’t bug them anymore. i messed up. i should have set a plan, I should have set a goal. i should have talked about it. but i didn’t. Now i grief in so much anger, now i greif in so much bitterness, so much pain. I have done way too much pain, only cuz i was such a terrible friend. i […]

The beginning of June was really hard for me, a lot of things that you can’t control happened. My cousin was diagnosed with cancer, and has been fighting it since, and at the same time, my bestfriend from childhood commit suicide. I never truly realized how much pain he was in until after, and I wish I had been able to help him, I wish things had gone another way, I wish he was still here so I could help him, and be his savior like he had been mine many times. His memory will stay with me forever.

” Life is like a coin. You […]

Hello everybody. As you can see the title pretty much says it all. I just wanted to get your opinion about this. I know that spirits exist but I don’t know whether the Ouija Board works or not. Some say it does and others say that it doesn’t. This has been on my mind for a pretty long time but I just can’t seem to get my hands on one … maybe I should make one myself? lolol I have no problem making one myself. It’s like 4 AM and I’m kind of bored. So .. Yay or Nay ??

*Cheers*

i am a pathetic person , i won’t bore you with the details, the important thing is that i am. its who i am and i can’t change it. i can maybe repress it but i can’t change it.
i hate myself because i am who i am, which makes me hate life maybe even more. i am at my wits end, i am in therapy and whenever they think my problems are getting better or aren’t the worst they could be i get really upset. what i want most in the whole world is go through something so terrible, like being abused for years […]

Hello

I have not been here in a long time.

it has been so long i cant remember my last post.

for the last few months i have been happy, i was truly happy. I had everything i ever needed or wanted. All i ever wanted was love again. And reacently i found it in my new wife and her son. they have been my whole world for the last few months. Happiness eternal.

I want to share with you everything i have learned.

I am bipolar, i was diagnosed as a child. I have always dealt with it. I had a loving family. I had everything.

When i was in college, […]

i can hold it back for a week or two then like now it just all comes out. fuck life. -_- i wish i can just walk out of the earth, if it were only that easy, but everytime i try…obviously i fail :/

1. 27/9/12 something is going to happen, but i don’t know what.

2. People are planning to do something, which includes the olympics. A big tradegy…

3. Everyone is a robot trying to keep a secret from me.

4. This is all just a sick dream that i can’t wake up from, and someone is controlling me.

5. I should just kill myself… he tells me this a lot.

6. this one time, he was actually nice. And described my afterlife to me… And it sounded amazing until he said that he will be there as well.

7. the illuminati? Are they controlling me…

8. The olympic mascots. There is a theory […]

After reading about helium and other i thing that hanghing is the best,what do you thing about it? thoughts?

nothing excites me anymore. :/ my birthday’s coming up this week and i’m going on a cruise soon..i know i should be happy but i find myself not caring about things anymore. what’s the point in life? what’s the point in moving on?

believe me, i definitely don’t like feeling this way..i wish i could change it but i don’t know anything anymore.

this is probably a pointless post that no one will bother reading, but if you did bother reading it, thanks for caring.

I’ve decided that if things don’t get better, I’m leaving in november. And you all know what kind of leaving i mean.

If anyone needs me. or even just wants to talk… Feel free to email me and we can go from there. MissN.JejnaATliveDOTcoDOTuk

But don’t try to get to know me, You won’t like it. I don’t like it. And then you will just leave… Like the rest of them.

If everyone’s going to leave me.. Does that mean that daniel will too? Or maybe that’s his plan… To make me seem that fucking crazy everyone will leave me and he can have me all to himself.

Don’t […]

Been battling depression for 5 years.  It keeps getting worse.  I dropped out of college.  My brain refuses to hold any information or be educated anymore.  I would rather die than ever go back.  I never had a job and really cannot picture myself doing a job at all.  I fail at everything I try, odds are I’d mess it up somehow.  My social disorders cause me to not make friends, or have a hard time keeping them.  I no longer wish to talk to anybody.  Any group of people I’ve tried to be accepted into, even those who normally accept people, have rejected me […]

………..i hate the person in the mirror

I get the feeling that i should leave, Obviously I want to permantly leave but i’m talking more about this site.

Is there any point in me staying? I’m so repetative and crazy… But I just want to thank you all. I really appreciate everything you have done.. All of the advice and humour and just being a friend for someone in need. I’ve met some amazing people, and i hope for their sake that things get better and they don’t leave…

I’m only 15, but alreay i feel like i’m at the end of the road. And that road was a *****. But this isn’t the […]

i feel a repeat of last night happening tonight again. if so i no if i cut theres a better chance of feeling better for tonight, if i cut ill most probably have a better night but ill have to hide the cut till it heals and i might feel bad the next day. so thats my dilemma in my head.

They think I’m spoiled

That I’m a bad kid

But what do they know?

It’s only a mask

It’s not me

I lost masks

A really, long time ago…

I don’t know who I am

Any more…