hey i can use some advice or ur options. I have this guy have been tlking to for the past 2 and a half years, my parents now found out and have stop me from tlking to him and i have agreed to ,all for the sake of my school work , now this guy really love me. should i do what my parents want or follow my heart although i will get my ass in serious shit? . Also i have a to choose a program to do at a local university here and my family as no faith in me doing chemical engineering they keep saying am lazy and i cant handle it. I have agreed to do the computer engineering insisted. But my question is am i doing the right thing? should i follow my heart and prove them wrong ? or do the computer cause it is easy?
PLZ Respond i need answer i feel like my heads exploding and my tear ducts are so dry that crying is pointless so my only option to relieve the pain is cutting, please respond!
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Traptsoul I would follow my heart…with that said, it depends on the situation too. I like to prove people wrong especially when the think I can’t do it. The reason I say follow your heart is because you will start to resent your parents if you get in a career you don’t really have your heart in. You would always play the “what if” game and blame them for everything. As far as the love in your life…take it slow and maybe with time (if it’s serious enough) your parents will get used to the idea. (or maybe not) but you’ll never know and you’ll always blame them…just my advice.
there is no point or fun in life if it was easy none of us would be here. if you know in your heart that that boy loved you and you love him to then to hell with your family’s opinion. maybe they are scared he will veer you off track from school or distrat you from your goals. but if he loves you he will only support you in all that you do. and as for school. life isn’t fun if it isn’t challenging. we all keep learning everyday of our life. now only you can judge what you think you are able to achieve but if you have your passion and heart set on doing chemical engineering then who are your family to tell you you are LAZY and CAN’T DO IT. Of coarse you can. if you truely want it u can strive ans work your hardest for anything. hard work pays off remember that. your family should be supporting you and telling you the same. your life is in your hands NOT theirs. these are YOUR decisions. now think hard and make them. 🙂
Hey there, Traptsoul. Here’s my response:
Always follow your heart. Your instinct is telling you what to do. Always trust your instinct.
Several things you said make it clear that your parents are very controlling.
Your school work is not a reason to stop talking to someone you’re close to. Maybe they have an anterior motive.
Here are some possible motives for your parents’ attitudes:
Your parents don’t want you to associate with this guy perhaps because he isn’t the kind of person they want you to be with.
It’s possible that they fear you’ll get serious with the guy before going to university and not want to study, but this is unlikely. Remember that it’s none of their business who you spend time with.
Sounds like they want you to go to a local Uni so that they can control you better. They’ll probably suggest that you live at their home during the undergrad degree “to save money” but the real reason is probably, again, their need to control you. Heaven forbid you’ll have a life of your own at Uni!
Oh, and just in case you’re not 100% sure: Do Chemical Engineering. I couldn’t believe my eyes when i read that your parents said that you couldn’t handle it and were too lazy! That’s abysmal. Parents can do irreparable damage through criticism. Such criticism plants fear and resentment in the heart – never love and affection.
If you’re really into a subject, your passion for it will bridge any gaps in ability.
And don’t you dare settle for some ‘local’ university. Go to the one that Talk to a teacher you trust and they’ll help you. I knew people who took trains during certain school days to visit several unis without their parents finding out… Their parents were a bit crazy though.
To be honest: some parents see their children as a possession to be boasted about. Some parents see their children as a life insurance policy – a person who will service and support them in their old age (especially true in eastern cultures) so they will actively restrict one or more of their child’s chances through limiting their achievement in life and especially by pressuring them to marry into a specific social cohort that is acceptable to them.
Your life is your own. If people try to emotionally blackmail you into abandoning your life’s desire because they see it as your ‘duty’ as a daughter to do what they say, remember this quote: “Duty does not require any person to submit to the destruction of their personal ambitions and the right to live their own life in their own way.”
My advice: pretend to listen to them and take their advice, then go and do what YOU know your life should be about. Follow your heart. Trust your instinct. Always.
Hey thanks for the advice i think, i will take it, and if i can ever return the favour just ask .
As you grow up, you gain more authority over yourself.
You make the transition to independence.
You become your own guardian.
Only you can set boundaries around who your friends are and what you study in school.
The question is, are you old enough now to be in charge of these decisions ?
Good luck.
I agree with The Guardian traptsoul. But then I always agree with The Guardian!! 😉 Zx
Abandon all hope, ye who enter organic chemistry…