General

my best friend wont let me out. i want away and im done with this world. ha every other post i write is either how amazing or awful my bf is..tonight its both….i love him SO MUCH, yet all ive done is cry since he came back. idk anymore, he was a reason to save me now he is reason to send me away. i wont win, he wont. i want to win i want to DIE die die die die. never do i have o anything under harsh orders again..im done but wait im stuck here..best friend wont let me die, he makes so […]

i cant stop feeling that im all alone and no one cares about me cuz im just a fat worthless no one</3:"(

It’s not your fault, it’s mine. For thinking you were everything you’re not. I set such high expectations for you, and you turned out to be totally different from what I thought. And…. it’s not you I should blame, it’s not you I should be angry at. It’s me, because I built this fantasy in my head, I turned your personality into what I wanted it to be, when in reality that’s not YOU. You did nothing wrong, you were just being you. And I was just being me… setting expectations that people, and myself, are bound to fail.

I’m feeling poetic yet my words aren’t flowing
I’m saddened and now filled with guilt
And I feel even more lonely
I saw the news and filled with sadness
Now I’ll choose to suffer
Rape me blind, or murder my body
The polish away my remains with a buffer
I had rather have taken my own life
Since I’ve endured the death of others
They do the usual and they’d do the same if I’d end it all
They wail and cry and regret with each other
Now my eyes are opened and I’m even more depressed than before
I’ll have no choice buy to […]

I feel numb and broken. I have some horrible thoughts too.. I just wish I knew how I could get over him.. Get over myself. I don’t even feel human anymore. I feel like I am having an out of body experience all the time. Like I am not even still alive..

:'(

I just wanted to say that I think each and every one of you are perfect even if you dont see it.  I love you. If you need someone msg me bestrongdarling@hotmail.com. Ill be your helpline & give me ur tumblr and ill follow youu . I know things may suck right now, but they have the ability to get better.

My ex boyfriend abused me, hit me, raped me. I deserved it right?

I need sumone so bad rite now! It hurts so bad! I can’t stop crying… I need a fucking gun! But if you could read my last post it would be easier to understand.

As I sit here reading all of the post about this beautiful girl who took her own life my heart is breaking. It is true that none of us know how much our death will effect other people! Recently I struggled with the thought of ending my life and I am so glad that I didn’t! My heart aches for her family and friends and all those here that knew and had grown to care about her deeply! Kallie I hope you finally found peace! I wish that something could have been done for you!

I also hope all of you that are hurting can find […]

im everything thats wrong

and nothing that is right

she tells me im ugly

and i would never become anything

i am worthless to her

but she still keeps me…

as if i was her toy

her little stress doll

just being constricted by her very own

pain

it fucken kills me to know

that my own mother is ashamed of me

i have apoligized to her many times before

for being me..

i can’t get fucken through this

everything she ever told me is still in my head

because of her

i hurt myself before

and i still struggle not to hurt myself today

i convince myself everyday

that there are people out there

hurting more than i do

kids

who suffer without doing anything to deserve it

im […]

Like a couple others I received an e-mail from Kallies sister Kamryn this evening. Kallie killed herself last night after posting a final note on here.  My heart is so broken and discouraged.  I only knew her through here and e-mail but I feel priveledged to have been able to get to know her. She was so funny and had a wonderful personality.  She felt so much pain and hurt in her short 15 years of life. My prayers are with her family and loved ones. I know that she is missed more than she ever thought possible.

Kallie,

Babygirl I would give anything to receive another […]

I have travelled the world and done things most people wouldnt have the guts to do. Currently on a full on adventure, have been for 7 months. I dont give a fuck though, I am still bored, I am still the same useless fucking wanker, I will never be able to be normal like the rest of you. If there is a god, give me the strength to finally just die.

…so I’m stuffing my face with food to comfort myself.  Sadly, this comfort is so short-lived, while the bad feeling is so constant…

My parents will never let me be Laycies mother! They will always keep her away from me like I’m a monster! They are getting together a case and calling a lawyer to gain full custody of my daughter and said that they think it’s best if I move out and we all tell Laycie that she is their daughter. They are taking my baby girl because of my borderline personality disorder even though I go to therapy and take all my meds and I’m doing better. There’s nothing I can do about it either. I can’t live without my daughter. I won’t live without my daughter. […]

They just pretend to care

They’ve never been in your shoes

They don’t understand

They just want to take your money

If they cannot handle you

They’ll just tell you that you’re crazy

They’ll just embarrase you

Tell your parents and family that you’re insane

I trusted a stupid therapist just once

and where did it lead me?

I told her to never told my parents

but what happened?

She called them up

Told them

Ever since then my parents controlled my life

They told me that no body cared

They told me that I am alone

and that made me afraid

Afraid for my future.

Mother always told me that father was just wasting his money of pills that would never work

And now […]

suicide or living?
suicide: hurts others
living: hurts me
god fucking damn it i cant win. please let me die i cant go on with life its too painful. i neva once thought this is the life i’d get iwould do anything to not be miserable..so what will it be..friends have been silent all day..but i still dont know. suicide a no go? i may try but chances of success…i actually doubt it. im stuck here in hell. LET ME OUT!!!!!

I don’t want your sympathy. or your attention. I’d really rather not have you watch me suffer. I don’t want you to look at my ugly scars and feel bad for me. I don’t want you to tell me to stop. I don’t want you to tell me you get me, because you don’t. I don’t want you to comfort me when I cry, you were never there before.

why are people so rude?? i mean we are here for the same reason for somebody to here our stories, our pain, our anger. but when some of us try to help them they get mad and they say what do you care about my life i just want to die?? OK they sound soo stupid if somebody really wanted to die they would of done it along time ago but if there posting it up here is because they need help am one of you guys trust me i want to help i wonna read your story i want you to know that there is […]