I did this, you can too.
I’m so happy.
I’m so lost.
I’m confused.
Everything is a swirling black hole.
And no matter which way I go,
It ends in some sort of disaster.
Days turn to weeks,
Weeks turn to months,
Months turn to years.
I try to turn around,
Or run forward,
But I run into black holes that I can’t fall into.
And I can’t feel.
I don’t feel anything but,
Unhappiness.
Pain.
That’s the sad but brutal truth.
Sometimes I believe,
There’s happiness in an eternal life.
I drink cause I’m dry. Of the tears I have cried.
I don’t know where to go from here. Last night my mother found my instagram page. It had nothing bad on it but she freaked out. Look at my account is Mozar121. Anyways then she wanted to all of my accounts to everything, my email, facebook, everything and when I told her no she didn’t like that and told me to move out. I said I will if that means I don’t have to see you and then I was walking out the door when my dad showed up. We talked for a while which I never do but I told him somethings I’ve never […]
There was a chill in the wind that night, one like no other.
The darkness made it hard for sight, but I didn’t know it mattered.
The strength of your grip, the frame of your stature;
As you grabbed my hips, before I knew it I was captured.
You forced yourself on me, along with your touch.
I pleaded for you to stop, but you still wouldn’t get off.
You were too strong and heavy, I couldn’t get you off top;
With your hand over my mouth, I kept screaming stop.
My throat went dry, I couldn’t scream.
I tried and tried, but the harder […]
It’s like don’t have to breathe, but have to wait. Till’ you say something again, so I can breather and live. But without you here.
I am an inspiration to many both here and in my life outside. I am a preachers son, and expected to act like what I am not. I am looked upon with judging eyes everyday. I am an inspiration to the church, showing teens aren’t all the world says they are. I am an inspiration to my friends by always trying to make them happy before me. They see me as a person who will do anything to help them. I am an inspiration to my family. I have 6 siblings. One is a drama girl, the next an attitude awkward child, and the rest […]
Tonight I am sad. Tonight I am lonely. The Demons are screaming and I need you to hold me.
ill never be able to accept love , i just don’t see how it is possible.I have done so much wrong. He shows me more love than anyone in my entire life ever has and yet all i can think about is jumping off that cliff or slicing my wrists and watching all the pain end, but i know that no matter how much i wish for that I could never be that selfish…..never! Â I have more than so many people in this world so please tell me why i wish of this every night, tell me why that when Someone I finally actually likes […]
Unhappy, Angry, low self esteem, Always feel like I’m outside looking in, where do I fit in? ashamed of myself, I feel so stupid, when I turn And walk away they are talking bad about me, I can feel it… I Insult you to hide my insecurity and pain, I say I Hate you when I just wanted a hug, Where was Dad when I needed his love?.. I feel like I’m Dying, Will Anyone notice or Even care?….. Years Later, Frown Lines, Eyes Weary so much mental Pain Even my body aches, I fucking give, I can’t take […]
So… I haven’t posted in a while. Most of you won’t care, others might be curious, but… Though I only posted here a few times, I thought I should give an update. An explanation.
I’m fifteen years old. I’m not an attention seeker. And I’m not faking.
A few months ago, I cracked. Years of trauma and abuse piled up until I just couldn’t take it any more. I fell into a dark place. I started cutting, stopped eating… Sometimes for weeks on end. I was miserable. Lost all of my friends. Eventually my parents took me to a counselor. But that just made things worse. I […]
Does anyone get thoughts about not living anymore? Like if there was a way to just disappear with no pain and not hurting anybody you knew,would you do it? I would like to say that i wouldn’t, that i love my family or words don’t hurt me or whatever people who are stronger than me say. But the difference between me and them is that I am a coward. I can’t talk back in fear of being hurt and I would chose to disappear and never come back than to try to fight back. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a painless way out. […]
It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down, they’re changing my future. Visions I had buried underground returning to abuse me. I’m getting worse, I can’t sleep. I thought that the feeling was gone, but it’s getting stronger. And I miss him, I miss him so much. I’m missing him like never before. But still, can’t be with him, can’t tell him, can’t dream about it. It hurts, like hell. I just want to be okay. I just, want to.
It’s too quiet in here.
I can hear myself cry, and hiss out words that usually come as mumbles.
It was once a place of serenity.
It was once the place of my joy,
but now I find it only to contain an inescapable hell.
It’s a place filled with shadows,
and a place filled with comfort.
My temple and my asylum,
my punishment and my reward.
This place smells of candles overcome with the misuse of lysol in a can.
I […]
I thought I could end it with ease. All I had to do was step off Instead I just sat there frozen. How come I couldn’t do it after all I’ve been through? Everyday wishing it would end. I just can’t understand how I could be scared of death.       I’m such a *****!
If you are reading this, please listen with an open heart.
My best friend committed suicide on March 14th. She had an account on this website that i just came across and she had posted asking about ways she could do it, and my already shattered heart broke a thousand times more as i read the comments telling her how. As much as apart of me wants to respond with so much anger to anyone who encouraged her in how to end her life, a bigger part of me also breaks for all the others who were in her same numb state. She had talked with […]
Hi. Â This is probably going to be weird. I’m actually in 6th grade right now and I found this website. It matches me. Because this is the only website that I could write my thoughts about.
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It’s 3:07 am and I can’t sleep. I just can’t. I’m so tired and I want to rest. So I have a friend that always judge everything. I mean sometimes I ask myself why am I friends with this person? I mean she punched me on my stomach which really hurts for me because she doesn’t know anything about me except for the things […]
I’m sorry about all the things I did in my “youth”. I made the stupid decision to push you away back when SP chat was so popular. I made a stupid comment saying I committed a grotesque thing that meant I would get banned from that community and sort of shunned. It was for the better, although only because I was on the chat for far too long. I bet it’s either dead now or only 2 or three people left on there.
I can’t think of all the names of my old friends of whom I miss dearly, but yet somewhere in my mind your […]
have been suicidal for a while now.. currently on meds but I feel hopeless. nothing every gets better.. idk what to do and need help.
I love you all. Been on here since i was 15. And on that fateful day I chose to look up suicide methods. I ignored the website that talked about help and such and came here. I found people who were interesting and like me. Although my problems were faint in comparison, it still meant people who were relating and also helpful in my time of need.
I thank you all for your support and to the admins even when i was a shitbag troll. I’m sorry for that. I love you all, as my great friends in a suicidal community. Talk to me on kik […]
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