I’ve been laying on a bed for hours contemplating shooting myself in the head. I had a beautiful life in which I was attending school, a beautiful wife, and teaching music my passion. Now I’ve graduated, I still kinda teach but my best friend since high school doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve done so much to hurt her and I can’t ever tell her how I feel. She wants us to be divorced now so she isn’t reminded of me. I don’t blame her but this is really baring down on me. I’ve cried for two months now about every other night and I want […]
Category:
My Suicide Note
Well, I guess you can say I’m contemplating suicide. I’ve been through a lot I suppose and I’m not sure how to handle it anymore. I’ve attempted suicide before, when I was around 11 or 12. I was too young to realise it took more effort then what I put in. And now that I’m older I realise that it might be best to just end my life. I know that I will hurt people, and that isn’t my intention, I love my friends, my family, my boyfriend. But I don’t want to lose my grandparent’s trust, or ruin my boyfriend’s life or not be […]
I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, “Is that all there is to a fire?”
Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If […]
I can’t, I just can’t give more…
It does not really worth it to be around here… Pain after pain, leveling up, feeling worst. Behind every laugh there is a bitter memory which stops me and stops me, again and again. I was born not to love but to suffer. Everyone hates me. No girl can love me, no human will share with me.. I feel sad, more sad than ever. I can’t go ahead, I am ready to fade away. I will miss my dog, my ex-girl, family, friends, and most of all, my good old memories, which kept me going up, but is not […]
I dont want to die. I dont want to live. I’m terrified of it all. I’m conflicted, i’m incomplete and I’m suffocating with this desperate need to be loved and yet I do not trust or accept a single persons love.
How do you live when youve lost the desire to live but are haunted by the things you need??
How do you live with emotions that were never tended to.. such important steps that were ignored. I’m in pain and i’m empty. I am exhausted of this world. I’m 20 years old, 21 in march. I’m a light skinned female with, ive been told, attractive lips, […]
I like being alone, I like when I have my own.
I can think enough to talk to myself,
But not enough to forget how I felt.
He still remains on my mind,
Like I can’t take him apart.
I like being alone, cause I can talk to him,
I can hear his voice on my head, telling a verse,
but somehow I forget,
How to make him go away.
27/01/14
9:23 pm
havent been on here since last year. I’ve been to hell and back
i want people to know they can email me if they need someone to talk to or advice.
naomirogers1996@yahoo.co.uk
xo
I don’t know, I’m bored. I slept all day. I have nothing to do. So I guess I’ll tell you my story. I’ve been cutting for 4 years now, it started out as something small. Just one cut, then two cuts, and then before I knew it I was cutting all the way up my arm and on my legs and thighs and my stomach. It’s now an addiction. Wether I’m feeling shitty or not. I need to cut. I want to cut. But I’ve tried suicide multiple times, I’ve chickened out a couple times, I’ve failed a couple times. But I woke up one […]
sister became rebellious. i got punished for her actions. moved away to another counrty. dad didnt come with. got bullied at school. girls acted like friends but stole from mw. i switch schools the nwxt year. sister rebells smokes weed and does stuff with a boy. mom hates me . she hits us , and makes us do everything by ourselves. its like we have no mom. at school no one stalks to me for months they think im emo. everything okay for awhile. dad comes home. spends 20000 dolars all of our savingz. on a lady he cheatdd on my mom multiple times including […]
sister became rebellious. i got punished for her actions. moved away to another counrty. dad didnt come with. got bullied at school. girls acted like friends but stole from mw. i switch schools the nwxt year. sister rebells smokes weed and does stuff with a boy. mom hates me . she hits us , and makes us do everything by ourselves. its like we have no mom. at school no one stalks to me for months they think im emo. everything okay for awhile. dad comes home. spends 20000 dolars all of our savingz. on a lady he cheatdd on my mom multiple times including […]
I’ve been so close to almost call him or text him saying that I love him, so much. That I miss him so much. I thought that being drunk would help me to do that, cause I get more sensible, thought that would help me to do it by impulse, but not even drunk I can. I’m such a coward and I’m so fucking afraid.
Give me a valid reason to live and I wont go, simple as that. Please don’t give me that “You’re family and friends will miss you” bullshit. All my family is dead, all my friends left me, there is no one who loves me or cares  about me. Do you understand why I’m so bitter? Fuck living, I’ve had enough of this shit! All my life has been pain! My parents beating the shit out of me and molesting me, all my ” friends” making fun of me, I’m glad my family is dead! I’m glad I have no friends, all people do is hurt […]
i don’t get it. why am i not good enough? why does he not tell me he’s cheating. he is. i know he is. he knows i know, so just admit it. why can’t i break up with him? he was supposed to be my sanctuary. now he’s my pain. i can’t go or be anywhere with him because i know what he’s doing. this sucks. can’t i get some peace? happiness? should i leave? it’d probably better – for both of us. he could be with the person he wants to be with. he won’t have to worry about hurting me. he can be […]
Hi, my name is Dallas, nice to meet you.
I’ve got a secret to tell you, but first, you must hear my story
I am 15 years young. “I’m fine” is my favorite thing to say. I bet you’re a bit like me. I’ve dealt with depression, anxiety, insomnia, and minor PTSD. They’ve treated me like a lab rat. I’ve been on almost every psych medicine you could possibly think of. I’ve been hospitalized 20+ times in the past two and a half years, because people freak out. I’ve been to 2 residential placements, Valle Vista and Allendale. Have you heard of them? […]
Something akin to a smoker with no cigarettes
a junky with no junk
My soul is unsatiated, a hollow heart for a friend.
This pain is ongoing, unending, unyielding, unceasing
Carving away at an already empty vessel.
If this body could lie down and never awake
If this soul could fly up and out and on
Into the darkness
The vast darkness.
There is comfort in an enveloping never ending darkness
A place with no pain.
ME OPS????fed up with refelctional frens(acts like ur therpist of sleeps ell except u to set u up with someobodi compley wrong for u)/karoolivigians(wutevre it is u like coming to suemthing …)… I JUST WISH I EXISTED IN SUMBD,IS HEART….
Since my ‘time’ has finally come, its only suitable that I contribute something back to this site after reading however many posts over the past few months. Months, that’s quite a long time from my perspective, when I don’t even remember what happened a few days ago (I’m sure it was the same nothingness that every day of my life is). In an attempt to not make this dwell on for too long I’ll try and cut it short…it is the internet after all:
TL;DR: Dead now, shotgun-to-backOfThroat
As far as my childhood goes, I had a few friends here and there, got upset relatively often (like […]
Many of you guys have heard about this guy… Â There was a book and movie written about him… Â “Into the Wild”:
Christopher Johnson McCandless was an American hiker who adopted the alias Alexander Supertramp and ventured into the Alaskan wilderness in April 1992 with little food and equipment, hoping to live simply for a time in solitude. Wikipedia
I admire this guy for who he was and for his ideals and adventurous spirit and relate to the guy. Â If you haven’t heard of him, see the movie. Â There are some lessons to be learned about self isolation and other things.
He basically starved to death out there, supposedly […]
I drank the last sip of wine, and set the bottle down. My medicine was failing me, my loved ones had failed me, and lastly, I had failed myself. Tonight was the night, I told myself. I had no desire to stick around any longer. I had only caused myself misery, and made everyone else’s lives complete shit. I was a heavy weight on everyone’s shoulders, a boulder, weighing down until I was dropped so suddenly to the ground. I looked at the fireplace and closed my eyes. I could hear yelling and screaming inside my head, visions of violence played out over and over […]
I will start by saying I am confused, I’m a girl and I’m 12 years old. Until a couple weeks I lived in the country side with my father, my mother and him divorced when I was younger. I don’t have any siblings. I’m generally a happy child, wow I don’t think I’ve used the word happy in a while… 3 weeks ago my dad committed suicide. I was at school when I got pulled out of class. I don’t want to say how it happened it’s hard to think about. The problem is my life i was really close to my dad and I […]