For your poems.
Make them stop I beg
Get them out please!
They’re all in my head,
Voices.
Calling out so loud
“End your life now
Make us ev’r so proud,”
Voices.
(now read it backwards)
A Darkness rising,
The Sunrise falling
I’m at the end of my rope
I hear Voices calling
All Hope is lost
The End is near
I’m at the end of my rope
Darkness, I no longer fear
I am broken
I fear I’ve always been this way
what was it that broke me?
i doubt anyone could say
the doctors are confused
I lived a good life
supporting parents
no abuse
yet I’m broken
i often pretend I’m not
pretend I’m whole
pretend I’m happy
but I can never pretend for long
Your eyes, green
Freckled face, in a smile
Walking away, always
Sunny day, I think today
Gone again, again you’re gone
But sometimes we meet
Oh the joy, though quickly faded
Lie in the seat, poetry, jaded
Hey folks, look to the sky, that bird floating above the clouds is the divine seagull. These graceful fliers may look unphased by the troubles of life, but wait until they touch down, and it’s a different story. When you see one on the ground they’ll usually be in tatters from having to fend off and procure food from their hostile and greedy friends. It could make anyone think they ended up that way from tumbling down in a near deadly crash. Alas, life in the dirt is rough, we get up, we fight, we stay up, we fight, every once in a while we […]
I’m back to the knife
not the sharp ones I’m used to
don’t want to cut too deep
but can’t seem to cut deep enough
can’t draw blood
too afraid
too afrad to relapse
needing medical attention
having people worry
seeing the pain in their eyes
but I want to draw blood
not too much
just a little
but I can’t seem to do it
all I make are red marks on my arm
like scratches from a stick
Thoughts war against reason
Tell me again why I should last ’til next season?
There are methods to my madness.
If you follow my methods you’ll get a glimpse into the abyss of my madness.
My sister happened to discover the brilliance of creating art on our skin. She had danced her paintbrush across the canvas, creating a crimson stain, a promised scar awaiting the near future. I know she had to have learned them from somewhere. From someone. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has never held such a deep meaning before. She learned it from me. Her big sis. And why don’t I feel guilty for not teaching her the harsh and damaging effects of self damage? Why don’t I feel guilty that she has to conceal her wounds until further notice? I think […]
From the moment we met I knew I wanted to be with you
There was no one else but you
No one could make me smile but you
No one could take the pain away but you
These 4 years have been amazing because of you
But we have had some rocky paths due to me and you
Lately I have been feeling very low because of you
We have good and bad times because of you
When I have urges they are taken away because of you
I want to live because of you
All I do is for you
I try to be brave because of you
I don’t know if I would still be […]
Everything I say is wrong
Which is why I’m here writing this song
Everything I do can never be right
Which is why I find it difficult to see the light
Everything I say leads me to apologise
Which is why I’m sitting here trying to realize
Everything I do will never be enough for you
Which is why I really don’t know what to do
Everything is messed up
Which is why I always say “yup”
Everything is always my fault
Which is why my life has come to a halt
Everything makes me want to end it all
Which is why I curl up into a ball
Everything is me
Which is why I don’t know if I […]
Words that have poisoned me
Saying I shouldn’t be
Shouldn’t be like this
There’s no reason to
Reason to do what I do
It’s been the same for years,
Telling what I don’t want to hear
Telling me to get through on my own
So unknowing, you were ignorantly bliss
While I fell into an abyss,
You, who still filled me with lies, such ugly lies
Look me in the eyes,
There were toxic things you said.
This was your influence
I never thought this way,
Not until […]
I cling to life, not to hope.
Dear life,
I’m sorry. i guess I should start with that. I’m sorry for failing you. I’m sorry that it didn’t get better. That the things I’ve done have left scars on my body and the scars on my heart. I’m sorry that I didn’t try to smile more genuinely. I’m sorry that my laugh was plastic and stale. I’m sorry I spoke to loudly or never spoke at all. I’m sorry that I didn’t try to fall in love. I’m sorry I was so afraid of falling in love. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best me I wanted. I’m sorry that my “phase” got […]
I fell the pain vibrating in my skull.
I just clench my jaw and force the smile to stay on my face.
The voices ask why I even continue.
Well the singing wills me to stay strong just a little longer.
It takes an army to build me up.
But it only takes a few to knock me down.
What’s encouraging me to stay?
My mom once told me the most selfish thing you can do is take your own life.
I once said I took eight Advils.
She said she would give me the Heimlich right there at that moment.
Maybe life’s hard right now. But it’s not forever.
Some day I’ll leave this life.
And […]
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day
Now read from bottom to top.
A woman
Unknowing the knowledge of world I creep into my Maternal Womb,With the blessing of many , But with great feeling of her,
I grown into her Curve,
In the darkness dome there was Happiness which i felt as she was protecting me,
In lot of vain , she gave me a life
She is a women ” A Mother ”
When i seperated out of my mother womb , i cried but everyone was happy.
In the cries it lies my feeling that someone seperated me with my special gift , my protector, my God as i have to face these Manly cloud World.
But Iam too a women “ […]
Darkness, my friend
Breathless, and tired has become a regular feeling, the darkness taking over the light within. Shadows of my past, the skeletons in my closet and the words that left scars, over flow, leaving me grasping for help. Unable to move, to face the day, I lay there in quiet, letting the shadow take all my goodness and innocence and leave me empty and hollow. Rushing through my days in a haze, forcing a smile onto my exhausted face so that no one can see that I’m falling. Smiling, laughing and hiding, leaves me feeling weak and small, I am just gliding through life […]
i see the world through darkness
each day i think of the world a little less
in my heart and in my soul i know
life isnt handed like a present with a bow
life can be awful, dark and cruel
i wont let it take me, im no fool
my life will not end in grace or honor
by the time they find me i will be a goner
a bottle in one hand and a drink in another
i say goodbye to this world and all other
the pain will be dealt with once and for all
down through through the darkness i […]
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]