Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
7 habits of chronically unhappy people
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tamara-star/7-habit-of-chronically-unhappy-people_b_6174000.html
I deleted my old post because well it was just another cry for help answered by the very reason I despise my life.
Honestly, would any of you converse with other humans if you were in my situation? Everywhere you go there’s people on phones or in person (wherever I go) having fake conversations just to get a reaction or to harass me. Fake conversations. Such as the ones going on in my last post that I deleted. It drains the life of me. It’s so ridiculous. The relationship between me and my family is truly lost forever. I’ve never been closer to telling them all […]
cold as fuck yo
So… My grandmother(current guardian) took me shopping today. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Sunday. We started arguing, also very typical. She said the friend I’ve just recently started hanging out with, Sarah, would leave me when she found out I cut and I’ve been hospitalized for it. I let her know that her and her parents both know. I’ve had in-depth conversations with her mom about it, because she’s been hospitalized as well, for depression. But then my grandma said that everyone that I hang around cuts themselves, and that I’m the reason they do it. As she was going into the dollar […]
Hi everyone! Soo for starters, I’m not really sad or depressed, tho i’ve struggled with that a lot in the past. I’m not mentally ill or delusional, at least i don’t think lol? I’m 19, considered really pretty, i have friends, plenty if guys to date, and a wonderful amazing family i love to bits.
But I really want to die. My reasons are complicated and really personal and paaartially to with unchangeable stuff in my life but basically i’m just…done. I don’t think there’s much more i can gain from living this life anymore and i figure whatever comes next even if its complete oblivion […]
nothing is real. Nothing is genuine. It’s all fake. Why live in a fake world?
And so it began.. The day you were born.. Reality is everyday we die a little, but for some they want to live an eternity, while most wish the hell they were given would end tomorrow…
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you? The guy who hurt me when I was little messed me up so bad. I have a hard time trusting adults, I have a hard time being in a relationship with a guy, if my boyfriend were to touch me a certain way, like he did, I would freak out and have to distance myself from him. And my boyfriend wouldn’t understand why I was acting the way I was. I want to be normal And when my boyfriend leans in to kiss me I won’t freak out. Or if he puts his arms around me […]
I feel emotionally disconected. There is no reason for me to feel depressed or sad, because I don’t have what anyone would consider a bad life. I feel disgusting, because other people have real reasons to be sad and depressed, yet here I am. There is nothing special about me. There is no reason for anyone to extend an effort to help me out because I don’t feel like I contribute to society in the slightest. The only reason why I feel any guilt is that I do not want my few friends and my small family to feel like they failed. No one failed […]
Since Labor Day weekend, I’ve been walking a track circle; on one end is glorious hope and love, on the other is despair, hopelessness, heartbreak. I’ve been researching suicide methods over the weeks, not often, but when I slide down the rabbit hole. Today I began a more in depth search into methods; I have several on my mind. Thinking I will commit to a plan once Thanksgiving is over. Always, once this, once that….I’m so tired. I wish I could just end it once and for all. Life is too overwhelming, too heartbreaking, too tiring. Hope is tiring.
People always say ‘ there are reasons for being alive, stay here, we need you’ yeah, you need me do you? Well tell that to me the next time you ditch me for someone better. Everyone is better than me. I don’t see the point of being here; I don’t think there is one. I self harm. People tell me to stop but others tell me to keep going. But I have made up my mind. I’m leaving, no one needs me nor do they want me . My own mother has disowned me. She says it’s my falut my sister is dead. She says […]
I don’t know what I’m doing. People always say “there is reason for living, there is reason to stay alive” but I don’t see that. What’s my reason? My 3 best friends of 3.5 years that stopped talking to me two days before my birthday? My dad that left when I was two weeks old?
A friend of mine once said to me (before his girlfriend blocked me on his account) “You can’t say no one else has any reason for living.” but what I was trying to say to him was, why are any of us alive? What is the point of life? We aren’t […]
I know I barely post here anymore, but I still come back every now and then to read your stories. I recently read Shephard’s goodbye. He was a great friend to me a while back and I lost contact with him for a while. I need to know if any of you have had contact with him since his final post. I sent him an email, but haven’t had any response. And I know I may not hear from him for different reasons… But I just need some closure. It’s killing me. Please, if anyone has heard from him, or knows if he’s still with […]
Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in […]
I dont even care enough to want to die. Repetitive practiced motions propel me through my days. Mind numb and thoughts stagnant. The real me died a long time ago and the creature left in my place is weak. Slowly dissipating to nothing is more than I deserve and exactly what I’ll get. I’ve made peace with this.
you can never fully be happy in life. for most, we’re born with the bad things in life. some of us grow up without a mother or father, of both. some of us grow up in the terrible parts of the world. without a home, without a family, without clothes, food, an education. some of us just grow up different. these terrible things are what tell us to be appreciative of what we have.. to not be sorry for ourselves and how we feel. I grew up with a family, a roof over my head, food on the table, a mother, father, in a good […]
I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people
There probably isn’t any meaning in life. Perhaps you can find something interesting while you’re alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you. – Orochimaru
This quote & someone on here once telling me to “be strong, have resolve”…those are the only two things keeping me here. Pathetic, I know.
About a few weeks ago I felt this alarming depressed like feeling or simply a depression… feeling that I want to escape it all, felt like a heavy wave of everything and everyones feelings.. I began to read about suicide in details – methods, reasons, experiences and so on (I got myself a 4 meter long and 24 mm thick hemp rope for drop hanging, storing it in my car for now).. and then at some point I just collapsed and cried …last time I cried like that was in my teens maybe, I am male and 29 now.
There is still some remains of this […]