Finally decided to take action and source ******** only to find a whole group of us in search of the same thing and wanting to move on from this life. As I read I think, “you’ve got heaps to live for” so what if you have a colostomy bag, so what if you just broke up with your significant other. You’ll get through this. But I need the ******** a lot more than you..
I lost him. And just to think that things were just starting to get good. I lost the only thing that meant anything to me. The only person who could make me feel something. The only person that made me feel like life was worth giving a damn about. What the fuck is “love” anyways? What makes it grab a hold of you and shake you apart so damn hard? Why? Why do I have to feel anything? Honestly I’d rather feel absolutely nothing than this shit. I’m over this feeling. It’s like the pit at the bottom of your stomach that lets you know […]
I downloaded Metallica’s Ride the Lightning album last night after falling in love with an 8-bit rendition that was posted to Youtube. While washing the dishes this morning before work, I put the album on and was immediately taken in by the energy that the wall to wall sound of early Metallica radiates. Great album top to bottom, but the standout track is Fade to Black. It’s not enough to read the lyrics; you have to go listen to the song and hear Hetfield crooning to really feel the weight of the words. He had this to say about recording the track:
“I wrote […]
Hi people.
It’s great to know that there are people that feel just as shitty as I do. I have a more personal blog where I rant about how I keep delaying “The Grand Event” and how there is always some tad of hope I have in humanity. Life,though always makes me regret even being conceived to begin with. I’ve been looking for a method to leave fast and painless I cut,but I’m not cutting to deep.
I know you understand me.Being a 20 year old female, South African.I don’t have much support of this side.My only way is out.
Here is one of my blog entries in […]
One moment im thinking about the the relief and freedom an exit would provide, then later I’m thinking it’s no answer, it’s just quitting. The thought of it being over seems to make me happy, but I bet if I got a cancer diagnosis I’d be pissed.
If you’re willing to die, why not be willing to make a go of it instead? I dunno..
The wish to die will be granted to each and every one of us one day, without exception. So why live in fear of failing another attempt at happiness regardless of how foolish it seems? In the end we will be gone […]
An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]
Why should someone stay alive ? No one feels your pain , your sorrow . No one really knows everything you’ve been through . I was rapped , then hurt by the love of my life . He cheated on our anniversary . How could I believe he would change when he asked me to take him back ? I was hurt , sad , depressed . I was going through a transition in my life . Before he cheated I had ran away from home . I walked from my house all the way to my grandmothers house . My mom didnt love me […]
It’s funny. What it all comes down to in the end. I thought id want to pack down my room for my parents. I thought I’d want to write an individual letter for every person I cared about. I thought I’d assign my belongings in writing, making each and every one a symbolic gift for those whom I adored. I’d thought I’d wear my favourite clothes and think about all my favourite things as I farewelled this life. But it turns out none […]
Such depth in words
…
Despair is nothing compared to what I live.
Just a click away.careful and close analysis of what has lead me to this dark whole in my life.
You will not regret it.
This,friend.
This is the stuff.
www.sirgrandad.blogspot.com
Finally,
Enjoy!
-Gran(^•^)Dad
Believe what you see from heroes and cons.
Hello again, SP. In my entire time having been depressed, I have only written here once before. This was when I was upset over a trivial problem concerning someone (read: no one-hee hee!) loving me. Boo hoo. Bleeding fucking heart for myself back then. (Please note that I mean no disrespect whatsoever to those of you having relationship problems-I’ve never been good enough for anyone, so you guys are cooler than me! Not that being cooler than me is hard or anything, but I digress terribly.) This time, I write for a completely different reason. A much more […]
How can you tell how you feel about the one you love,that is hurting you and you can’t handle it, when the only person you can talk to is the one that you love the most?
I’m 15 years old. I just started cutting. i feel like my life isn’t really worth it anymore. i have contemplated suicide. i even looked up medications that i could overdose on. i almost committed suicide Friday morning. I’m not one of those people who justseeks attention because if you want attention, don’t go about it this way. if anyone understands pain and guilt, that’s me.
I am a genderfluid, bisexual (stronger preference for girls), depressed as hell, self harming, masochistic person. The two H’s in life that equal some small degree of happiness are horses and hugs. I got a haircut two days ago that made me feel handsome for the first time ever. But the guy I like didn’t like the new style. Well, that shouldn’t matter but it does. I’m too dependant on others. I need to know if I’ve done something right and self loathe if something goes wrong…
I need a hug. A real one. Instead I cut and grin because my blood runs warm across my […]
im a 20 yo male. ive been feeling this way a while now, it doesn’t seem to be getting better. i have friends and family that love me just as much as i love them. as much as it hurts though, i don’t think they can fix the way i feel. i don’t feel control over my emotions like i used to. i have good days, then i have days where i feel like im falling much too fast to be caught. no hard drugs here, just pot. i think it helps me. i don’t want to depend on it though. i have support, i […]
Who understands what this feels like. Who knows the pain I’m in. Who lives with suicidal thoughts everyday of their life. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be here. Does anybody understand? I am a 24 year old queer female who is lost and struggles with alcoholism/addiction issues. Is there anybody out there that could relate/talk to me?
I have often wondered why total strangers care whether or not I suicide. I have come to the conclusion that it is like pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. Every person that suicides is reminding the other 70%-90% that they should too. That it is only false hopes and fake beliefs that keep them here.
I wish I could go back (40 years!) and talk to my 16 year old self. I would tell him to end it now. I would tell him that it takes me 35 years to give up hope and by then you have “responsibilities”. So now you are stuck: […]
Back story: Me and my family have never gotten on. Now…
When I was in Year 4 my mother’s constant manipulation and verbal abuse over me was enough to drive me suicidal. That may sound petty, but nothing was ever good enough for her. Whenever I went out with my dad she would say “If anyone asks, don’t tell them she’s my daughter” if I had greasy hair or something. Anyway, she honestly did not care about my emotional state. I would always be walked in on when I was on the verge of killing myself.
Anyway, later on in the year I made a promise to […]
I didn’t write a title because I honestly do not know what I’m supposed to call my messed up story…
Back story: Me and my family have never gotten on. Now…
When I was in Year 4 my mother’s constant manipulation and verbal abuse over me was enough to drive me suicidal. That may sound petty, but nothing was ever good enough for her. Whenever I went out with my dad she would say “If anyone asks, don’t tell them she’s my daughter” if I had greasy hair or something. Anyway, she honestly did not care about my emotional state. I would always be walked in on […]
Simply food for thought.
So I have the method: helium hood. I have the plan all laid out. I have the relevant notes all prepared (albeit in my head). I know how I will do it, I know how long it will take, what will happen to my body, where and how I will do it in such a way that causes minimal fuss for those who will find me.
I’ve had this plan for a long time, I have replayed it in my head almost daily – what stops me is the thought of messing up my two children, they’re only young. How to get them to understand? How […]