Last time I posted on here I was 16 now I’m 19. I still struggle with depression and anxiety I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I have been to a psych ward and everything. I have overcome my self harm. And now I have a wonderful fiance. I guess I just had to wait for things to come to me. No I’m not 100% okay but I’m not on the same state of mind I used to be. I still have the scars from my 16 year old self to remind myself what it was like before. It is better […]
Living and killing myself are both just too hard and take too much effort. I am tired of exerting myself everyday, trying to appear like I’m normal and belong on this Earth. All I want to do is lie in bed, put blankets over my head, and somehow stop my incessant thoughts. If I did this though, I would once again be treated as if my personal rights did not exist. My space would be invaded once again. I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything again on my own. My overprotective parents wouldn’t let me sleep alone or do work in my room alone or […]
Suicide is a central aspect of my entire existence. It’s not just about my own life, though I’ve tried to end it many times. It’s also about the lives of others. Ironically, I work in a psychiatric facility, and just when I think I’ve seen everything, someone else comes along with a near-death experience that leaves me feeling 1. Sad for them, and 2. Cowardly for not trying as hard as they did to kill myself.
My first attempt was at age 11. I had just been accused of a terrible act that tore my family apart, and I was left traumatized and alone. So I […]
I get that this site is for suicidal people and all that.. and that’s why i came here. But it’s a place to get help and advice for feeling suicidal now asking for ways to kill yourself. Damn, if you were going to kill yourself, you would have done it already. Suicide is going to hurt and have consequences if it goes wrong either way so there isn’t going to be a painless way. It all hurts in one way or another. But people seem to be mixed up about dying and just wanting rid of the pain.. i thought i wanted to die for […]
so here I am, beginning the end. Or shall I say someone I’m imagining in my head :). This guy is ready, prepared himself that rope, tied the knot, and did his prep work. Yes I think he is ready.
He needs to do this.
He’s got 1 Oxycodone 30mg, a dozen hydrocodon 7.5/325, some tina, and about a gram of weed. He will probably pick up some more weed later.
He plans to party with Tina. Then when the time comes pop the oxy + water extraction hydro. At some point after that when he peaks he will sit down and take his vacation.
Why is it so hard to be happy with your life?
People always say you should be happy and blessed that you’re even alive. Really?
I find my life to be so stressful and horrible. I find it so hard to be happy. I always worry about my future. Then I consider suicide and it makes me feel better. Like I don’t have to deal with anything or anyone anymore. I would go into my life details, but there’s no point really.
I guess I can say the only reason I want to live is for other people, but is that how it should be?
How can I make […]
Unfathomed, now I’m just fucked
That’s right, nobody gives a fuck if I died
I wish I could go to a bar and motherfucking fight, too
Like a gentlemen with my fist but then I’m just a fish
What the fuck now
Muk and the gloom, a dying flower waiting to be bloomed
By the time I finish the weed, let me get the fuck out
The entire world is some-kind of ***** like me
A higher place, take me to, a higher place
Take me to the sands
Short one.
About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?
The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of […]
Also known as “manifestation”.
I have known a few people over the past few years that actively practice these “principles”. Most of them appear to be doing just what they want and are wildly successful. You may have seen accounts on the internet about people like this that seem to have everything they want with little or no real effort. Of course that is their take on their situations so it’s a bit difficult to determine what may be reality vs. simply their perception. I mean, I have also known people that dug up and fixed broken sewer pipes for a living and that were […]
Hey everyone, this will be my first post here!
This seems like a nice community so I thought I might aswell make an account here.
I do have some questions that I’ve been searching answers for over the internet and I found some aswell but it’s always nice to have someone to discuss with when it’s concerning your case in particular.
I’m going to try to keep my story quite short and I might only mention the positive parts of it aswell… I feel like I have ruined a perfect chance of a good life. I don’t want it to seem like I’m bragging but I just wanted […]
I’ve been trying to meditate recently to clear my mind of suicidal thoughts. I plan on doing it in the next six months. But, in the meantime, I’ve got to get some stuff in order. I don’t want to live the next few months planning out my suicide. I want to live well and try new things before I die. And hell, maybe, just maybe, one of those new things will lead to something that makes me want to live again?
So I read that meditation can help with suicidal or obsessive thoughts. I decided to try it out. But I just can’t do it. I […]
Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget
I’m falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you
I can tell that you don’t know me anymore
It’s easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we’ll forget, I hope we don’t forget
I’m falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me […]
so I guess this is my own first personal entry here. sharing personal stories has never really been my thing but I ll give it a try.
I grew up in a what most people would probably call ‘golden cage’.
daddy a big-company manager, mummy a doctor. broom-stick-up-their-asses-rich-people.
From early age on I was their marionette; had to learn how to play the piano so they could show off with me at their business dinners; made me take ballett lessons; the list is as long as time and filled with various stereotypes it s not even funny. Whenever I did not obey I was either beaten […]
I feel that the world should pay and those i envy should feel my pain. Why cant i be like him, he is beautiful fits in and finds friends anywhere. I lock myself away from the world my soul it hollows every day. When i feel pain it makes me feel alive again, oh what i would do to feel joy and to be alive. I wish we could trade places but then i dont wish this feeling on anyone to everyone. Sometimes i want to go out on a bang so my message could be hurd unlike every other suicide that is forgotten. Other […]
whats the quickest least painful way to commit suicide, im only thirteen but ive had enough.
i just need a simple answer and no trying to talk me out of it.
I don’t know what to do right now….
I keep telling my self that i’m not alone because i have friends to talk with but i still feel so alone….
I keep smiling at them tell them jokes show them that i’m happy but i’m really not….
I don’t even know if they really care about me….
I want to be notice but no one would notice me….
I feel like i’m giving up even if I don’t want to….
and sometimes i think “what if i disappear would someone care or search for me?”
and i keep thinking of these negative thoughts….
please help me i don’t […]
Well, they wanted to throw me into the bin. Can’t blame ’em. I think it’s in the psycho protocol that when a patient tells you he’s gonna do this three days from now, you’ve got to report him. Of course, I was talking bullshit. I know nothing will happen on Wednesday. It will be like any other day, at least, on the surface. No one in my house will overdose on pinkies on Wednesday. Only on fucking blues.
Hey guys,
Firstly, thank you all for being so awesome to me these last like 6 months. You have seriously been the best people and are always so encouraging and helpful and try to make me and everyone else feel better about whatever crappy situation has us bummed out.
Thank you to all who have donated money, shared my link to spread awareness, and/or offered encouragement. You guys are awesome, and I can’t thank you enough. I would hug you all if I could. You have restored my faith in humanity and proven that people can help one another in times of need. Amazing. Seriously gonna cry […]
8/09/14
4:10 am
He had eyes like coffee and hair like bread, skin like winter and brain like hell. He had lips like razors and heart like sun. He had beard like leafs and touch as cold. He loved me like spring, and left like the wind. He changed like the seasons, forgetting me.