My mother is a ****.

I honestly see all these posts about how the short drop is the most painful and it takes a long time but is it really? I’ve tried partial suspension and that’s not painful at all. It’s just like pressure, that’s it. I do wonder how the short drop would take any longer and be anymore painful? I mean it still cuts off your circulation so you are bound to pass out, but i doubt it would take 5 min. Can someone explain??

Before I begin, I just want to tell the moderator that I won’t be making posts which go against the posting rules. Tomorrow morning, I will be making another attempt to hang myself. I was going to do it today but I realised that someone might come home early. This would not have been good for me. I am hoping that I will not be stopped by my fear of the pain. That was what stopped me in my first attempt. Admittedly, I felt quite disheartened by my paralyzing fear and I did not try again for several days afterwards. However, I realise now that […]

Sickness, pain and everlasting guilt. Mistakes and terrible decisions made and repeated once more. Memory fails me unsure if  it’s due to anxiety, fear and shutting down or something more sinister.

I’ve pushed everyone away,  ran away, I miss my friends but after six months of me pushing them away, hiding, ignoring i doubt they want anything to do with me. Who can blame them, im uselss, boring and so withdrawn. And I can’t even admit how terrible I have been.

I have thought about death so much this year. I wanted to end it all so many times. I went to a funeral of a dear […]

Depression is such an awful thing, I sit here looking through my window at the warm sunny day outside, at the people walking past in summery clothes, happy and content with their lives, I want to join them and yet, I struggle to get up out of bed, I struggle to get ready, let alone go out, all I have is an emptiness within me best suited to the cold; yes, I feel it most on warm sunny days.

Ive been suffering from depression and suicidal ideation for roughly two years now, though I can remember my first time saying I want to die was in the 3rd grade. Two years ago I lost what I had believed as to be everything I had wanted. A house, nice car, a fiancee, I was happy and full of confidence.
Unfortunately I had the pleasure of losing all of that Plus more within 6 months time. Fiancee crashed my car, insurance wouldn’t pay for it, fiancee broke up with me, realized she had been cheating, kicked me out, and stopped paying the mortgage. House is in […]

I’m waiting and…
it’s summer but … I say this and I’m not sure if anyone care but maybe you can suggest me sth to do .
I’m waiting for someone and if she call me oh…I cannot even imagine but I’ll be the most happy human in the world now I am just praying and…
I’m sure God will help us and…
oh I am toooo excited sorry!

This is my first post on this website. I found it while searching how to successfully make a belt into a noose, just so I would always be prepared. It’s exam study week for my university right now, I’m studying science and so far I’ve done fairly well, but my mind is blank this week. I have been considering not attending my exams, I’m not sure why I’m even at university… It’s not like there’s any purpose to it all anyway. I’ve been thinking about staying home and drinking until I have the courage to end it all instead, there’s just no purpose. I asked […]

Well, this is it. The moment you and I have been waiting for since I was 13 years old when I couldn’t measure up to your plan for me. Came up a little SHORT on THAT one, EH pops?

Well guess what, now it’s fucking over, and your bullshit fucking excuse for an “adopted son” is no longer in the picture and you can have the perfect family without me in the way, just like I know you secretly fantasize about.

And I’d also like to clear the air a bit, of YOUR lies.

“You’re the oldest male. Who’s going to take over when I’m gone?” You told […]

There’s no reason big enough to end you life

There’s no heartache you won’t recover from

There is no past that you can’t overcome

There is no sadness that can drown you long enough

For you to come up gasping for breath

There is no obstacle big enough that you can’t jump over

There is no reason why you can’t lift the weight of the world from your shoulders

There is no plossible explanation to why you can’t remove suicide from your daily goal

There is no hurt that you’ve never experienced before

There is no girl or guy that can make you question your reason for living

Its your inner desire, that question your […]

life is useless for me…. i’m 40 years now…. i spent most of my life dealing with depression….. i took lot of antidepressents but for some reason i don’t feel i’m the same person after taking antidepressents for so long….. i wake up everyday thinking i have nothing to do, how will this day pass….. i try to sleep as much as possible but that doesn’t help always…. i have lived alone and don’t have friends so its gets tough… i feel i’m too old to make friends now…. i’m too old to start my life…. i have no goals, nothing to accomplish….. so why […]

I’m not a stranger to happiness, I’ve experienced the sensation on a multitude of occasions, but those were obviously short lived. Everyday, I witness at least one individual who seems outwardly pleased, happy even. These people are usually middle class or above, with clean clothes, nice teeth, smiling faces, and an excess of money that they intend to spend on those things that make them happy.

What kinds of things make me happy? Well, right now all I can think about is food. But who am I kidding? I can’t afford that shit.

There are just some people in the world that won’t live happily, mainly because […]

I am a 19-year old woman that has struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and eating disorders for the better part of my life.

All my life I needed to feel like someone needed me. Of course no one hasn’t; I’m a flaw in every way imaginable. I hurt people I love without intention and I never forgave myself for it. I just wanted someone to notice something wrong but nobody ever did. I didn’t mean for everything to come this far.

The man I love once told me that suicide is one of the most selfish acts one can committ. Its true. Suicide is an awful thing, […]

Damn it, here I am again. Tired of life and everyone in it. Just took a walk to the highway. Kind of empty this time of night. Sort of like me. Anyway, I guess I am living for another day. Living on borrowed time.

I’ve tried to kill myself about .. 7 times. I’ve tried hanging.. Ended up blacking out and waking up to Demond’s and evil thing coming after me. I’ve overdosed 3 times. That ended with throwing up water and sleepless nights with ringing ears and sweaty palms. I was recently in a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. They put me on 3 different medications.. But I don’t take them. They make me foggy. I feel like people can read my thoughts and control them. I hear a man talking to me all the time. His name is 6. He leaves mean […]

I have never shared my story before,

I’m now 24, the 24 years of my life have been the worst, raised in a well off family I had my emotional needs neglected from an early age, suffered abuse from from my family and depression all through high school. Thinking back I can only remember feeling alone and afraid.

It wasn’t always bad, after finishing highI school, I worked full time for a few years, but I could tell something was missing, I had not and still to this day have not  had emotionally intimate relationships. I don’t know how to establish or maintain them, nor do I […]

I’m just tired o being the fuck up of my family. I’m 19 and I go to community college and work part time and am not allowed to move out. Meanwhile my 2 sisters both got in to Ivy League schools (one is attending Harvard grad school in the fall) and they haven’t worked a day in there lives and get a monthly allowance. I’m family ignores me and everyone moved away. I live with my grandparents and we have nothing in common my grandma is 80 an my grandad has dementia. Tonight was just the final straw we went out to dinner and he […]

         “I’m sorry.”

Dear mom, I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t get good grades. I’m sorry I can’t love up to your expectations. I’m sorry for not being successful.

Dear friends, I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with any of you. I’m sorry we lose connection for while. I’m sorry I never stayed. I’m sorry for pushing you away.

Dear people at my school, I’m sorry I don’t fit in unlike you do. I’m sorry that I’m weird. I’m sorry that I don’t look as pretty as most girls do.

Dear myself, I’m sorry I was ever born, I’m […]

June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash sang Farside Banks of Jordan (copywright blah,blah blah) but it makes me think of you Jeff…

I believe my steps are growin’ wearier each day
Still I’ve got another journey on my mind
The lures of this old world have ceased to make me wanna stay
My one regret is leavin’ you behind

But if it proves to be His will that I am first to cross
And somehow I’ve a feelin’ it will be
When it comes your time to travel likewise, don’t feel lost
For I will be the first thing that you’ll […]

I want to disappear.

I’m sick of this life and the people in it. I want to slip out quietly through the back door and start over somewhere new where no one knows me.  I want to travel the world and find the place the I’m the happiest, a place that actually needs me.