My mom told me that she could have killed me when she was pregnant. In my school I was bullied continuously for 3 years. I had operation twice due to some health issues and unfortunately I couldn’t complete my college. I’ve worked really hard from childhood to get my dream job, now I’m feeling like a failure. I wish my parents would encourage me and support me a bit but they always put me down. They compare me with other children from the childhood, and my mom always hit me with a stick even when it wasn’t my fault. No love from them but God […]

Why don’t people want me to just end it. They call me selfish (and there right) or cry, when I think suicidally, or act on those thoughts, but why am I wanted hear on the first place I make all of there lives harder, all I do is hold people back, according to my beliefs, after death there is less than nothing your dead, there is no mire contious you, no heaven, no hell, just gone. And, that seems like an escape to me, everyone always says death is painfull, and I’m shure it is, when I almoast diced from ODing on PAIN MEDS of […]

I cant stand my life anymore. Ever since i lost my dad my depression and anxiety have gotten worse and no matter what problems arise i always just grin and bear it act like it dont bother me. I would have ended long ago if not for my mother, i know it would just destroy her. So im forced to continue living my miserable life

Its been a while. Well not as long as for some people.I have heard stories of some people who have been tacking depression for 10 years, 15 years and I used to think to myself that there was no way I had the strength for that shit. Here I am , about 6 months into severe depression and it looks like this aint gonna go on for too long.  I even started reading depressing books. People would say that this is the worst time for it. But honestly, reading books about good people being screwed over makes me feel like I have company. Like Im […]

I’m not sorry…………………………

This is more or less a  suicide note that will never be read because I’m a ***** to put it simply.

But if I ever grow the balls to correct the mistake God, nature or what ever brought me made. But I wanted to finish this shindig on a high note.

And this is quite possible the first and last time I’ll ever mean this sentence.

I’m not sorry.

To the wonderful father I have and the mother that was never bad but I always resented.

I’m not sorry.

To my amazing family I do nothing but complain about because I can only hate someone who values me over […]

fuck plattitudes

fuck this feeling

fuck everything… life sucks……

so fustrated, i dont even know what to say….

fuck this

Why? Is all I think. why did this have to happen to me? Why is all this happening? What am I alone? Why am I so hated? I don’t even know why I try sometimes. I try talking to ‘friends’ so I can be occupied with something. But it’s not like they care for me. They most likely would rather me gone than bothering them. I don’t blame them. I mean, who wants to associate with a worthless monster anyway..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GntRHCuHorc

I think our last kiss was meant to be quick and chaste, but after the first touch of her lips fire leaped up and roared through my belly. My fingers yanked her close, digging into her back, and her arms embraced me to her as if wanting to meld us together. I knotted my fingers in her heavenly hair and bit down on her bottom lip, making her groan. Her lips parted, and my tongue swept in to dance with her. There was nothing sweet or gentle in our last kiss; it was filled with sorrow and desperation, of the bitter knowledge that we could’ve […]

You never came back, you said you would but you didn’t, and I guess it’s more fool me for ever thinking that after all that’s happened you would. But they said have faith, in time you’ll see, he’ll come back. But time was of the essence, so I took it upon myself to come find you and even tho I thought I never would have I did. You were happy and I saw that which only made it worst. Cause I was miserable. Couldn’t you see what you’d done to me? You made me want you so much that noone else would do. So […]

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Wondering of ill travel the world, make it in broadway, get married and have kids, or give up  before I get the chance.

I wonder what what it is inside of me that makes my body ache and makes my mind fill up with hate. I don’t know how to stop it. I know that I should probably get help. Tell a parent. But in reality if I tell them all that goes on in my head they’ll send me away because “I’m a danger to myself.” And I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I […]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qsgBF7ZIsk&list=PL_lfsNREdSwx5eGkEOsFse8sWdjwSUi-K&index=44

I’m the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I’ve got it all sewn up. I can save you. If it takes the last drop of your blood, I’ll drive your demons away. I’ll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they’re down and then I’ll be gone back into darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone… who would walk with me.

Just because I don’t want to live, does mean I don’t want a good life, I don’t want to sit around an wait to die, funny the things you randomly ponder

i’m trying hard to keep my mind under control, with all these silly thoughts, and the frustration that builds up over things that aren’t that important, and also trying to ignore the temptation I’m having lately to drink

As I sit here typing this, I feel like such a mess, an I realise how far I’ve fallen, and how fast, even though I didn’t have far to go, I set the scene as a crazy […]

16 and absolutely hating life. Being in the big wide world having not grasped the aim of it yet……I’ve decided I’m just not made to be here. So, after months and months of contemplating, today I made the decision to try and hang myself . I’ve always thought about killing myself, but never carried out an attempt until today, due to being scared. Scared that if it failed I have to live with the shame from my family. Scared of their reaction.

I used a belt, tied it around my neck as tight as I could, and tied it over a metal bar in the door […]

Hello. I’m new here just like I’m apparently new in life. I’m sixteen years old and was diagnosed with depression earlier this year, but was suicidal for give or take two years before that. I have a messy family past, abusive father who tried to commit suicide right in front of me – not because he was suicidal, he was just a manipulative and sick bastard – and now I live with my mom, stepfather and my little sister. We’ve been through a lot of crap with my mother – including this whole daddy issue, alcoholic grandparents, her own depression and slight abuse from my stepdad. It’s […]

No one has the big picture in mind. It’s sad. Everyone is preoccupied with their little pointless material things and pointless humdrum routines to really look at what happens after everything is gone. What will you have left? Where will you go?

I guess I’m still pretty mad over what someone said to me. Someone I never expected to say such a thing. That if I end it, he won’t go to my funeral because he can’t glorify someone who does that to themselves. I never once asked for glory or sympathy. Only for an understanding ear. Maybe to be talked out of what I want […]

for every. dot. a sin. was made. speaking lies. and never saying. if u can see it. then feel my pain. . . .

there are 11 dots

11 sins. 11 miatakes 11 pepl 11 mismakes. 11 true senses 11 fates. 11 things u should not say 11 tears 11 drops 11 loved ounce and 11 enemys 11 kind words that lift ur soul and 11 seconds for it to all disapear

i dont  know how to commit suicide or anything, but if suicide is ones only chance from a life of misery, then its not such a bad idea, right?

Hello
I met someone few months ago and she was a perfect woman then I found that I love her and I knew that she likes me alittle so I want to tell her something about myself and my life and my problems but I’m afraid of her respond and…
one time many years ago I trusted someone and she wasn’t so… Do you know after that I cannot trust anyone but I need to talk with someone
can you write something?a suggestion and a comment it’s not important what.
please help me.I should tell her?

I just feel like im drowning all the time. No, not drowning, sinking, rather. Silently sinking without a sound, with no one noticing. But then i guess i deserve no one noticing, since im quite possibly one of the worst friends ever to all my friends and im pretty sure my boyfriend is getting kind of sick of me as well. I just feel so depressed all the time, and its not like a really have much of a reason to be feeling like this because like ive never been abused or anything so its so stupid that i feel this way but i just […]