I’m honestly not sorry.

I’m not sorry…………………………

This is more or less a  suicide note that will never be read because I’m a ***** to put it simply.

But if I ever grow the balls to correct the mistake God, nature or what ever brought me made. But I wanted to finish this shindig on a high note.

And this is quite possible the first and last time I’ll ever mean this sentence.

I’m not sorry.

To the wonderful father I have and the mother that was never bad but I always resented.

I’m not sorry.

To my amazing family I do nothing but complain about because I can only hate someone who values me over themselves.

I’m not sorry

To the wonderful friend that’s been single handedly pushed me forward through this quite possibly awesome existence.

I’m not sorry.

To the others that allowed me to suffer with a smile and null the pain for only a moment while I was with you.

I’m not sorry.

To all the people that say push through, and the world isn’t all that bad.

You’re all right.

To the people who say don’t give up.

I’m not giving anything of worth up anyway.

To the people that want’s a genuine reason why I must ask.

Why do I need a reason why? Does anyone need a reason for a decision every time?

To Cindy the rapist that is the reason I can’t wake up to a female voice without crying.

Fuck you.

To all the people I care for genuinely who wants to know why then I guess you’re entitled to a reason.

I’m useless and the people who tell me to not do it are what I call my friends. The people who never noticed me and thought of me as only a friend, hope you enjoyed the sight of a young man going to waste.

To all the people who laughed at all my idiotic mistakes, hope you enjoyed the show  and hope you continue to laugh after the curtains close. For all the people I’ve ever said sorry to I hope you understand this is the way I wanted go happy, smiling and enjoying my existence. I’m happy with this. I just wanted everyone who even  cares to know it was no ones fault, or no single person’s fault but my own. I feel ending with me doing something I’ve never done would be great. I’ve never decided to do anything in my entire life because what I wanted was always idiotic and I’m glad everyone pitched in to tell me that. Even while writing this eversingle mistake I type on nails in the fact i’m incompetent for existence. So when I’m found in my living room with this note stapled across my shirt i want all of you to know I’m happy. It’s been a long way coming, I’m almost done with my sophomore year only four months left and I’ve yet to be content with what I am at this very moment so goodbye. Sorry for your loss everyone but I’m not sorry. 🙂

(On that night I pussied out and continued everything as if I never wrote this because the world seems decent enough for going on so might as well….)