Okay so this has been bugging me for a while now….   I don’t really have people to talk to about it so I guess this is my best place to get it out.

When I was in elementary school I was exactly the same as I am now, passive aggressive though it was probably worse back then.  I didn’t talk to anyone and I was super shy.  Around third grade I ended up befriending this girl, lets call her L.  So L ended up becoming my best friend.  But around the end of fifth grade she started ignoring me.  She ignored me for the rest […]

I start to see a new way, everything seems okay now, but right when things seem fine….my world comes crashing down around me and i cant stand the weight of everything thats happening , i just want things to be better and be able to be happy on my own is that to much to ask? like for real…. i hate depression with a burning passion i want to kill it. make it go away please …………….

Every human provided with 100 years and little bit access to huge brain.

What they are doing:

1. Try to make money which he may not finish in his life time

2. Strive for fame where everyone praise him even after his death

poor people go for 1st option
average people sulk on their misfortune birth
rich people go for 2nd option

you don’t experience, literally, anything if you are dead.

logically speaking, humans are foolish

only non foolish act a human can do

1. suicide
2. suicide
3. suicide

I just realized I haven’t cried in a very very long time. Even though I feel like I want to sometimes, I just don’t have the energy. Too tired to cry, to tired to care, to tired to change.

everyday its the same routine. waking up thinking its a new day but then suddenly everything reminds how much of a fuckup you really are. And school doesnt make it any better. makes it worse actually. ive tried to pick myself up but eventually when i get home i dont eat or talk but go to my room And cry myself to sleep.

When it gets so intense I’m always back again.When I was 15 I did an art piece depicting a face expressing pain. Their eyes clenched tightly and mouth arched viciously downwards as if all was lost. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the intensity of what I feel that drives me mad and soon to sadness. This idea unintentionally danced through my painting as I realised the inspiration was an image of Lleyton Hewitt winning his first and only grand slam. Ironic huh? Being the bell of the ball and the crazy bipolar ***** whimpering away in her room. And I don’t mean […]

All I seem to do is fuck up everything… Where do I even start? I don’t know. My head is spinning, and my body aches and if I stand the dizziness will knock me down. I don’t even know what to do with myself. My teachers tell me how I’ll make it far in life, yet I’m unable see it. Once they know I’m suicidal they’ll get the stupid counselor involved and they’ll realize how the weak cowardly freshman will never accomplish anything they once thought she would. People around me can’t keep their mouths shut, they always have something to say. I’m tired of […]

Its been over 3 months since the last time I saw the person I am in love with. I have not tried to talk to him or anything. There are days I would give anything to hold him one more time. But I don’t contact him because I know he wont talk to me, things ended pretty bad between us. I just wish there was a way to tell him how much I miss him without talking to him

I drink cause I’m dry. Of the tears I have cried.

So for about three years I’ve always wanted to kill myself, the thought never goes away, I tried everything to get it out of my head but nothing works..I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, feels like I’m locked up in chains

please, how do I get this feeling away, how do I live a happier live witbout the consumption of poisons into my body, I’m lohelp my mind is slowing dying, my soul slowly vanishing, please help.

Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit.  Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh fennec foxes. Oh shit. Oh shit.  Oh shit I fucked up so much and am just worsening what’s already bad.  Oh shit.

i realized i’m very self centered.

i’m all about me. i feel like the world should stop and help me fix all my feelings. but that never happens nor will it ever.
i’m a broken record reiterating my problems, feelings and concerns to the world expecting help or consolation.

screw it

This world is a dreadful, putrid place, where parents destroy the hearts of children, babies are stolen and murdered, schools are shot to shit, people are belittled and berated, and innocent animals are tortured. I often ask myself what happened, why has the world come to this? And people don’t even take notice to the horrors of the world, it is like they are blind. They say ignorance is bliss and I suppose it is. I watch people and I think of squirrels, they run around so blissful and free, unaware of the impending doom of the approaching car. We are not blind. I have […]

I’m a twenty two year old girl, no I am not a lesbian, nor am I bi-sexual. I am however trapped in the closet. My plastic bag over the head method failed me for the last time. I couldn’t control my body from ripping out of the handcuffs and ripping the bag off of my face. Sheer willpower wasn’t cutting it.
So, I’m trapped in the closet. Its a tiny closet that I’ve locked myself inside and am hoping to pass away in. If I’m lucky I won’t be awakened to my sad life in the morning. If I’m lucky this small, tight limited oxygenated […]

I don’t really know what I’m doing here…  Am I just seeking ways to escape reality?  Or am I just trying to find someone who will listen?  Maybe both, I don’t know.  But what I do know is that I’m tired of being invisible to people.  My main issue is I’m a passive aggressive type of person, so I won’t fight back if someone picks on or bullies me.  Which is also an issue because, since I’m passive aggressive people like to pick on me.  I’ve been abandoned by my friends so many times that its hard for me to get close to people and […]

I look at what choices i have. i can let it take me under or fight back. ive fought for a decade or more. my insides are shutting down like its preparing for the worst. ive researched meds that can be lethal. i look one last time and ask myself who is out there to care for someone like me. im on my death bed but im the captain. im ready.

i hate my life, it sucks, everything goes wrong but i guess im skipping a bit too far ahead so here from the start; when i was a little girl my mom and dad split up, he cheated we never spoke they never spoke, growing up he wasent there they never bothered then when i was about 7 he appeared again started wanting to see us we did an had frequent contact this was amazing, i never got along with his wife, i hated her and she had a strong opinion on me, this made it hard to see my dad again , again we […]

I wrote this song for the broken people out there.
It’s been posted in mp3 format on sp, but for those who may need encouragement, or for those who may just need to feel that someone cares, this song is for you.
You can always comment, or drop me a line. On my chanel is also a song called in this world, of which has been posted on this site as well, and you can check that one out as well, if you would like.
brl.cents@gmail.com

There is black hole that lives inside me.
It slowly takes away everything. It slowly got bigger and bigger and I feel emptier and emptier. I can feel it crushing my bones, pushing and squeezing my organs.
I don’t remember how I got infected or if it was always there. But now I am filled with emptiness. I know what happiness is, I understand it and I know I will never feel it. There is nothing in this world that I want or that could stop my black hole from devouring me.
I only remember a routine I am suppose to follow to fit in […]

Yep, subject says it all.
I can’tseem to do anything right. From making friends, to caring about my family, yep, I fail.

I got in a fight with my younger brother, and well, I’m not too violent, but I hit the punk. If I can hit a sibling of mine, how will I treat my future wife or kids? I’d rather not think about that. When I make friends, they always seemed to be troubled, and in the end, bring me down. I feel so awfull, because I can’t even save them. If it is not possible for me to save anyone in life, why […]