I want to believe in someone, I want to believe in something, I want to believe that I can love again. And one you will love again, one day, you will.
But I can’t.
I couldn’t do it, and it’s tearing me apart but..
I’m back…
It’s been a while.
I went through ups and downs and now I am actually on the final leg of my journey. But I feel like I shouldn’t be.
How did I get this far? Time passed by so quickly and I didn’t even get the chance to realize it. I feel like I am at this level, but I cheated my way here. Most of them are so much smarter than me, picking up all the points when I’m here still figuring out why the square peg won’t get into the circle hole.
They all look at me and say “wow, there’s a person who got it […]
So I don’t use this kind of stuff of chats or Facebook anymore. Iive Bvb n I’m part of the Bvb army. People always tell me o you’re so imo go kill yourself just for liking them. I like botdf people tell me that its gay and tell me I’m worthless and like getting raped just cause of a band. That hurts they don’t know that I was raped when I was in fifth then 7th n 8th then freshman year. They dont know me they don’t know my story but I guess my music defines how I like to be treated. I like suicide […]
Truth is, I don’t believe in love. I believe in great attachment, bordering on stalking and obsession, but not “love”
As hard as i try to get over you, you come back.. Telling me your sorry and getting me to believe your stupid, drunken or sober lies. You get my hopes up and even every time i know they will crash right back down, i still believe you. I try to talk to others, but i cannot get feelings for them, all i want is you. I know i shouldn’t have you. Any who, ever since New Years I feel into a deep depression, i stopped eating, dropped a good 15 pounds, slept more, had absolutely no ambition to do a thing. Cutting came back […]
It only hurts just once.
I see my smiles in the mirror and I don’t even know if they are real or fake they feel the same now …..reality is now a living nightmare that I can’t wake up from ……I don’t know what is doing on anymore or who I am …..just existing
he was really depressed no one could tell, he just looked so perfect how sad
i don’t want to feel for you. i wish i never met you; right now it’s impossible to rid myself of all the memories and conversations we’ve shared. you saved me once from ending my life permanently, but i can’t rely on you for happiness. yet you’re everywhere i go. i can’t avoid you. i don’t want to feel this way. i don’t want to love you. i don’t want to be an appendage to you; i’m trying to break f r e e . i don’t want your actions to determine my happiness.
how do i get over you???? please get out of my head
All I can say is I hope I’m home alone tomorrow
Hi there guys, I’m just writing a post on how I feel and probably am which is being a big failure and disappointment in life. I feel like even if I do my best it’s never enough. I want to die all the time because I feel like there’s nothing for me here. I hate what I have become and I just can’t stand it. I make myself sick. I used to cut myself and I attempted suicide. I have had help from docs and other people I had medicine as-well. In the end I might just be a crazy person? I don’t know what […]
If you don’t know by now I’m forced into the life of a loner I cant ever go outside my house without my parents constantly calling my phone every five seconds half the time I wanna put a bullet in my brain and end it all so I don’t have to feel this cruel reminder of what I could have but never will and the other half I wanna kill my mom she has done nothing but hurt me she has let me get severely bullied victimized and traumatized and PAYS someone to give a shit and my father who is a wanna be low down […]
I know that it feels like a good way out of the bullshit that life throws at you. but its the cowards way out. suicide has never helped anyone. and i know you dont want the world to see you but you are a beautiful person and you cant see it. you just cant see that there is a place beyond the bullshit. there is a place just on the brink of perfection and you will get there one day. the world is going to change whether its for better or for worse there will always be that happy place but killing yourself will only […]
Every single day I am closer to my death.
Now this may sound natural to all of you.
But preparing your noose isn’t.
Preparation for death isn’t natural.
We weren’t made to accept death so why has my mind told me that I can now?
I prayed for strength – instead I got open wounds along my arms.
I asked for forgiveness – instead I got abandoned by the people I love the most.
Everybody knows that I am just one bad day away from suicide.
The worst part?
They’ve thrown me into the past.
RIP Me.
May my […]
I dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if walls are caving in on me. People hate me. And you know what? I hate me too. People that are around me think I have the perfect life. Im a cheerleader. I make good grades. I make everyone happy. Nothing can be wrong with me! But there is something wrong with me. I feel as if everyone around me hates me. Im not mad at them for that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im just done.
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
So once i had went to a aslyum for my cuts. I had met so many people had i saw past they cuts and burns they were beautiful with words and drawings and anything. But there was on that stood out the most. It was the first time ive ever seen someone with a huge deep slash on their throat. That person was always alone looking out the window like if he was waiting or just thinking. So i thought well let me see if i can talk to him. Everyone said he never talked so i thought well this is going to be difficult […]
I don’t know what else to do. College is killing me, cosmetology is killing me, the weight of the world on my shoulders is killing me. College is tearing my apart mentally and physically. I’ve skipped meals, had no sleep at night, lost someone special, missed out on quality family time, all because I have to study. I don’t have the time to do anything but study. That’s the only thing on my mind. I don’t know what else to do. I keep telling myself that I can do this, it’ll all be worth it at the end of the day, but guess what? I […]