The thought of suicide has crossed my mind for years and have often thought how my families life would be affected by my own death? How would they cope, survive ? I know that life is a blink or heart beat away and we should not take life for granted however when your up against a brick wall why live!!! In the past month I have watched more gore movies , binged death, suicide , cemetery, coffins, life after death and so on. Yes I know I’m depressed and on medication but when you have 4 ways going at you at all angles from […]
That’s all I have, myself. In my experience, no body truly cares. I try to reach my hands over the counter, as if I’m the size of an ant, standing as tall as I can, though never do I reach. The only people who have ever cared still are unproven, unless they want something from it. I need help, however whenever I search for it I’m shunned away. Â The only person that wants to help me -isn’t my bestfriend, or my mother- it’s a stranger, wanting $125 a half an hour, and that’s the saddest thing of all.. Once I’m gone they’ll never understand, I […]
Everyone seems to lie, because the truth’s too painful. My mother and father l, by trying to work out a marriage that was doomed from the beginning. My sister pretends she isn’t hungry. My mother lies about the man she loves, the man that’s not my father. So where do I stand? Do I lie and pretend I’m happy? Do I admit that I’m not happy and I need professional help, although I’m pretty sure I’m beyond that? Do I keep on saying I’m just tired, that I’m stressed? I’ve been doing this for too long, we all have. Do I lie again, to myself, […]
I mean, I have no real reason to live. No family. Health is terminal. There are movies coming out that I could see, but I don’t see why I should wait to see them, considering the ever-increasing pain.
But. I don’t need to bow out now.
That’s my justification from day to day and hour to hour. “It doesn’t have to be now”.
We’ll see how long that lasts.
People who sit there and brag about cutting to everyone and they shove it in everyones face piss me off you dont go and tell everyone out of the blue i cut because i wanted too. Or people who make fun of it. Its not exceptable. There are people around you who do it cause they feel theres no other option. Who want to tell you off because of it. Because you dont know the pain of the people who do it to feel something again.
One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else…
Everybody’s got something
They had to leave behindÂ
One regret from yesterdayÂ
That just seems to grow with time…
Â
There’s no use in looking back or wonderingÂ
How it could be now or might have beenÂ
All this I know but still I can’t find ways
To let you know
Â
Somewhere in my memoryÂ
I’ve lost all sense of timeÂ
And tomorrow can never beÂ
Because yesterday is all that fills my mind
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There’s no use looking back […]
So I’m a 14 and a half y/0 boy who started this year alright, I had friends out of school, and I had friends in school, but they weren’t my real friends and I only hung out with them because I didn’t want to be the only kid in the library. This went on for a couple months and it wasn’t that bad… at around October, things went straight downhill. I started getting lots of pressure from my parents for school, and I was struggling really hard to get all my homework done and it wasn’t working out. I tried to make myself happier by […]
I’m tired of people lying
I’m tired of people hurting me
I’m tired of getting caught in this mess
I’m tired of crying
I’m tired of being broken
I’m tired of people breaking me
I’m tired of people saying hurtful things
I’m tired of living
I had forgotten how much it aches after cutting. Rolled over to try to sleep, let’s just say I’m awake now.
were are we but we were always drifting drifting cold and barren as the deepest ocean trench  alone and we all sink we sink so deep so soft and weak alone to the bottom scraping mud and sifting endlessly we were all born alone and cold and the warmest truth is that we will always die alone and cold. We are but drifting wood born to sink to the bottom. Water
The beginning, so they say, but there was never really a beginning at all. The beginning of my life cold have been when meeting Henry, as that was the day my eye sockets gaped, protruding into a world of color and hysteria -a step out of Kansas.  Was it as I lazed, ambition-less, aimlessly in the womb of my mother? Or was it even before that? I shrug at the idea of life itself, and it’s purpose on the most selfish species. I mean, in my belief, all we’re here to do is reproduce (an inconsistent purpose however, as it contributes to this over-populated shit hole) then […]
Ive been trying to stop thinking of her, but everything reminds me of her. I love her too much. On the upside, she doesn’t entirely want to avoid me, she worked out some arrangements so we can communicate even if I don’t have a phone or anything of the sort.
I hate myself for this. Why can’t I just accept the fact that she’ll probably never love me? It’s pointless to continue.
You don’t see
And it’s killing me
I punched me in the head really hard but not hard enough im not brave to punch me hard enough to cause concussion
I don’t feel like I’m in a good place right now. I don’t really remember ever feeling any particularly strong feelings towards anything, even when I have achieved something I wanted. Anything I would have considered a victory feels hollow.
I feel like I want to become close to somebody, I can picture myself talking to someone where we both know everything about each other and yet we pass no judgements. This could be because we know that we are in what is effectively a M.A.D situation and any sort of point scoring we could hope to achieve about each other could be instantly negated; and […]
I can’t move on.
I can’t let go.
I can’t stop it.
I can’t stop me.
I can’t go on.
I can’t stop hurting.
I can’t stop pain.
I can’t stop breaking.
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop hoping.
after not cutting for a two weeks, i did it again.
So I reply on bully posts often because I hate hate hate bullies. I dealt with them growing up and thought that in the mature world of adults that we would have moved on from this, but now I have a new bully. I didn’t realize until tonight. The first time we met I really believed that she was a ***** having a bad day. Now after she has apparently lied on me twice to my manager (my manager caught that), I no that she’s just simply got a problem with me. Of course I couldn’t care less if she likes me. However, if she […]
There’s a story of a little girl. She was kind and beautiful. And, happy. At least, she used to be. That was until middle school got to her. I remember the way her eyes lit up every single day. I remember how she spoke. Just one smile brightened everyone’s morning. She was fun. She was adventurous. She was confident.
There’s a story of a little girl. Who went home from school excited for tomorrow. She always did her homework the first chance she got. She was […]
At least I can make someone proud of me. It may not be you as a parent of me but it’s someone who acts more like a mother to me than you ever have. I’ve tried so hard for you to be proud of me and yet you’ve never said it. Soon I’m going to stop trying and give up but for now you still have a chance. I don’t know what else to do. So just so you know I’m done trying to please you I’m going to do everything in my own will to please the one person who acts like a mother […]