about a week back i was so stressed and bugged out i couldnt remember my password for shit and i needed to vent bad. i couldnt though bcuz of a fuckm password. all this resulted in was me getting more and more worked up. i tried resetting by going through the steps but every second felt as though an entire life went by and i couldnt get the thought of making my life actually end. i didnt want to be here anymore. instead of coming here i went online to look at different ways to commit suicide and watch videos of others committing the act. […]
death I don’t fear life is a pain ive dragged on too long death I think I almost embrace it like its not something to be scared of I just wanna wrap my arms around it cause its a part of life I wouldn’t be missed so why not sped up the process and help death realize its dream to just kill me cause if it doesn’t I will kill myself like whats the point if u have no one every walks out of your life at the time u need it the most im tired of all the pain im afflicted by it hurts […]
Why do people seem to give so much of a shit about whether or not a person they care about cares about them too? Â If someone doesn’t care about you, fuck ’em and find someone who will! Â Or get a dog…
It’s 2 AM now in chile.. I just can’t sleep, these days I’ve haven’t sleep well. I noticed that I’ve been on 4 differents schools in the last 3 years.. and the last year and a half had made me the person I am. I just don’t get why i’m empty inside.. why smile its becoming harder or why I feel like I’m going mad.. I just can’t tell anybody what’s happening with me.. im just stucked in the centre of my life drawning my tears and showing me happy as usual am I.. nobody suspects that something is happening
I’m scared of keep like […]
“tomorrow could be the best day of your life” and i think thats what has kept/keeps me going. the unknown of tomorrow keeps me hopeful. because you truly dont know the outcome unless youre alive and breathing right?
I fucking hate when I open up to someone about my depression and they say ” well you don’t look depressed”. Depression is not measured by how much you cry or the number of cuts you have. Its a mental illness it affects everyone differently
😀 Enjoy
It really sucks when you attempt to kill yourself, or talk about killing yourself, you have to go stay in a psychiatric hospital for however long. I know that there are some facilities that are awesome and are really helpful, but it seems that most of them don’t do any good.
There you are at the lowest point in your life and absolutely miserable, and then you are forced to go stay at a hospital with all of your rights stripped away when really the best thing is for you to be in your home where you are comfortable and can go about your life.
When you’re […]
I have what’s known as a Floating Support Worker, who I love dearly. He’s an Oxford graduate (Classics) in his early twenties, he’s doing a Masters in ‘Early Intervention in Psychosis’ at King’s College, London. He’s quite posh – he’s from Wales but has no trace of a Welsh accent. Super intelligent.
I told him I come here, and I told him that I was recently sent a free sample of (supposedly) ******** after an exchange of emails with some guy in India. I took a little just to test it. It tasted foul, but did make me a little groggy. Without a tester kit (you […]
Things are a little shaky in life.
All thanks to one person. It’s interesting, what one person can do in your life.
*sigh* Well, here’s another video of mine. I hope you like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TPZIr0PUZ4
Sincerely,
Nobody915
i dont think i should even feel so bad. but im deppresed. i feel like im falling falling or rolling downhill painfully and it sucks. i can barely avoid the thoughts of suicide, when im eating, with friends, trying to sleep or any other moment at all. i just cant keep them out. im so afraid ill start to like them and eventually ACTUALLY love the thought of death. whats barely holding me in place is a caring girlfriend, the knowledge that i CAN get better and the mere thought that im human and i can BE.
so basically. today. i went shopping with my mom. she started yelling at me and telling mw how negative i am and how that’s why no one wants to be around me. i plugged in my music and blasted it ignoring her and left the store. I walked to where the second floor has a hole looking way down to the first floor. for a moment i was overcome with the urge to just jump off. it would have been so easy guys. but my mom tapped me on the shoulder and i pulled out my earplugs as she started to yell again and we […]
Edit: Wow… No comments, and my post is buried on page 3 (currently). It’s time for death I believe.
Well, seems I cannot escape suicidal feelings. I was sure I’d go through with killing myself the last time I was here… but… I hung-on. Things got better. Now everything is downhill again. (Or uphill, depending on your view.)
I was jobless, and felt unloved. I met some people, re-connected with old friends. It seemed like things were improving. As usual, it was an illusion. I always end-up back where I started. Having nothing, and being alone.
My dog is getting put down next week. He’s old, and he’s […]
what would you do ?
So the only reason that I didn’t cut is because of 3 things. My guy friend who I really like, my mom and because I lost the blades that I cut with. Each day I would go rummaging through my room to find the box that I keep my blades in, because I needed my fix of seeing that blood flow down my wrist, and because I needed to feel the pain. If you’re a cutter, you know what I’m talking about. I finally found them on Thursday last week and I was so happy. 3 weeks of not cutting was kinda hard.
that the only way to maintain my sanity is by going insane
“I felt the Lord begin
to peel off all my skin,
and I felt the weight within,
reveal the bigger mess… that you can’t fix.”
What is your definition of social introvert and socially awkward?
Have looked up on this but would appreciate individual inputs.
I try to conceal my misanthropy by claiming to be an introvert. Presumably that is less off-putting to others and makes myself feel better. But after a handful of backpacking travels and interacting with people from and in other countries, I have come to conclude that the human heart STINKS just the same no matter where you’re from. What color or gender.
I used to think it is because I live in a third world country (save for the capital city), surrounded by low intellectual and […]
No matter how I try to be positive and make things better, there’s always an anvil waiting to fall on my head. There’s just so much crap one can endure. My perfect day is Friday. Sayonara.
I’m a human . No other specifications needed . But I’m a bit different , then again I’m not. I’m classified as well, bipolar, suicidal and I tend to have hallucinated like things which im not sure if it’s the isolation. Any who , I just wanna know how you guys do it . How you “power through” for so long . It’s really amazing , I know a lot of my friends with similar issues but . Is it really just switching off the sadness because I never quite understood that . And I don’t tell people my problems right now my best […]