over the past few months I’ve pretty much realized and accepted the failure that I am and that feeling inside me doesn’t go away. I’m sick and tired of it and each time all the expectations that are brought infront of me by my parents make me realize even more of the enormity of how badly I’m failing them. it kills me inside and each time I get these supposed wake up calls it makes me so angry inside and I cut myself and keep moving the blade over and over my first cut. I let the blood flow, see the trail and ponder over the […]

If anyone wants to talk about something, anything, please send me a message somehow. I feel like I’m about to break and I don’t know what I’ll do. So please. Someone, anyone.

I am 45 years old and an electrician who is currently laid off my second wife of 8yrs and I just separated i’m on community Corrections for a DUI i got last year got blow machine on my truck and no income so i’m kinda fucked but really i put out my mind the bad shyt focus on tomorrow

I can’t remember how I got to this point where I don’t want to carry on.

I thought I was getting better but my wrist are raw and bloody and my tears taste of salt.

Gradually and then suddenly is what I tell the few who notice.

It’s like waking up one morning, afraid you’re going to live.

I don’t know if I’m depressed, or just going through some seriously effed up hormonal phase that all teenagers go through. To be honest, I have nothing to complain about. My parents fight, sure, but it’s not like bottles are being thrown around the house. Except I remember one night my dad punched down his bedroom door. But my dad usually isn’t like that. That was a first. He’s no drunk either , and he loves me. I’m pretty sure about that. My mom and I don’t like each other. She has a maternal love for me, and that’s about it. I understand that. I love her […]

I’m freaking out. There was a guy on here and he was helping me out and I was doing the same for him. We talked by commenting on one of his posts back and forth. Now the post has been deleted and I can’t find his account and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried sick.

As soon as all my letters are written,

As soon as I say goodbye to the people I care about,

And as soon as I help this one person,

I’m leaving…

I know how, when, and where.

I already have the reasons why.

Everyone getting under my skin, pushing me down.

For the past couple days, things were going so great, but now I just want to drown.

The tears stream down my face,

Why am I such a disgrace?

My whole world filled with so much hate,

Now I know this is my fate.

Everyone getting under my skin, telling me what to do.

They’re inflicting so much pain, but it’s what I’m used to.

Memories that can’t be replaced,

All my efforts gone to waste.

My whole world filled with so much hate,

Now I just need to escape.

Everyone getting under my skin, telling me what to say.

They tell me I’ll never do it, that I need […]

just spent the last 10 hours in the er. boy that was fun

I’ve been through this situation once before, I met someone and life was going great, things seemed to be perfect, we made it 4 and a half years, we were engaged since 3 and a half years. I gave her everything I am, I was in the military at the time, and I pretty much paid her way through college. After my contract was up I moved back home, I got a job as a glazer, things were going well. then one day on 4th of July 3 years ago now, we were going for a drive up the mountain, someone was stopped dead in […]

Yeah, everybody calls that a cliche.  Maybe you are not living for others.  But I am, and that is all I’m doing.

Oh, and here is a fennec fox:

I’m sorry I try to help others but I’m in the same boat!
I have my frustrations as well 🙁 it isn’t like it used to be 
The things I enjoyed have lost their luster!
Sex for example, yes I loved sex ok I love it a lot! But it isn’t like it used to be :(
The naïve thoughts, the excitement! Have lost the shine, oh I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it :)
But I’ve done it so many times this way that way, hell I belong to the mile high club! :)Try doing that today! Ha ha! Well I won’t go […]

No one cares until you’re gone

I really don’t know what I expect to hear, but things are so hard.

I don’t want to say I am depressed. I just act depressed, but I don’t think I am really depressed, because my daily life is not crippled yet. Might be heading there though.

I was doing just fine. About to graduate school, stressed out because I was going to go into the real world and get ready to find a job in my field. Loans were about to kick back, but my little part time was enough.

My boyfriend was with me, so was my mother, father, friends, co-workers, advisers, professors, friends of friends. […]

I am here for anyone that wants help. I am good at giving advice, and I’ve been so low in the past I strongly considered suicide. If anyone needs help let me know..peace, respect, love

It’s odd, but in reading about the middle-aged men topping the suicide statistics in the US and UK, I have fewer reservations. In reading about suicide prevention and the loss loved ones experienced, i’m not deterred, although the formula that suicide seems viable when emotional pain exceeds coping mechanisms makes sense, it doesn’t seem to fully cover it.

I know there are times when we’re overwhelmed, but today I feel clearer in my head than most (last night’s old Ambien?), and it just seems like a viable course to pursue. I may be kidding myself, but it seems like logistics are the bigger issue.

For […]

I just have to let off some steam. I know its not a proper post but hey. I have a mother, her name is Liz. She has single handedly ruined my entire life! I know were told to forgive but not in this case. She has stolen everything from me! So, MOM, I HATE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL!! In fact, you dont deserve the title of being a mother. I HATE YOU, YOU EVIL HUMAN BEING!! I will end up dead because of you and you wont mourn my death, not even for a second.

catch a falling star and put it in your pocket… save it for a rainy day…

I was always told this.. and through my life I have had plenty of falling stars to catch…

but now it seems like my rainy days are over powering my stars.. im getting thoughts in my head, feelings that I cant be free of, images that haunt me.

I just need something to save me from myself.

I suffer in silence but so desperately want to be heard.

Don’t ask me whats wrong because I wont be able to tell you- just know whats wrong with me and tell me it will be okay.

Tell me things will get better.

Things wont get better right? I mean whats the difference between this school and another. Whats the difference between this town and any other?

Whats the difference between the you you hate now and the you, you’ll hate tomorrow.

As much as I’d like to think things will get better when I get out of this country I cant help but realize that the problem is me.

me: […]