especially at work. I was talking to my friend who’s a cashier, and I ended up telling him that a friend of mine said I should start dating again. Apparently my ex was listening in and now he’s all sad and pissy with me because he think’s I’m over him. I’m BEYOND over him. What I’m wondering is why he gets to have an opinion, when I wasn’t allowed to care that he kept telling me that the barista at the starbucks where we had our first date is hot, and how his friend in las vegas thinks he’s cute and wants to go and […]

I have been consumed with thoughts of suicide. Tonight I was crying to ask my brother to shoot me in the head. As serious as could be asked. I wanted to say it so bad. Even after his prodding “you can tell me anything” questions.

The tears flowed but I wouldn’t give in. I was so close to just blurting it out but I couldn’t. I had the restraint not to tell him. I don’t know what I feared more, thought of him saying no but then even more if he said yes. I feared his yes because I honestly feel as though I would […]

Today’s been rough… ex gf is giving me hope… I dunno if it’s false hope… I guess I don’t fully trust her… I know I even just want to be in the same room as her… hear her voice again… just like I have for the last 2 years… even when I was living in my SUV… just call and hearing her voice made it better… i think that’s what it means to love her… I dunno… is that enough? She got a new guy there… it’s only been a week… he’s sleeping in MY bed… he’s sitting on MY couch he’s eating off MY […]

wow… i failed once again and im back in the hospital…i dont remember how i got here. All i remember was taking a bottle of pills and then trying to drown myself… then i wake up in the hospital. I remember hearing screaming but then i blacked out again. Next time i need to make sure that door will STAY CLOSED. I wish they had never found me. I wish i was dead. I dont want to be here anymore. Im sick of getting teased all the time. Im sick of guys using me. Im done with them fucking with my feelings. I WANT […]

So today I found out that I’m failing a class. I’m so disappointed and ashamed in myself cause I used to be the girl in the front of the room telling you the answer to problem 7 and earning good grades. Now I’m the girl in the back of the class room asking you for the answer to number 7 and receiving bad grades. I get told constantly that I could do better , but when I try my best can still get improvement.

I get told to ask the teacher for help but I don’t want to. 1. Because I feel dumb and ashamed, and […]

Total loss of reality. What is going on. I feel pain tho, and happy sometimes. Dont want to be here anymore though.

Today my father finally texted me after weeks have gone by. I don’t think I’ve looked at him for a month or two now, but he finally texted me that he loved me and hopes I’m doing well.

Oh yeah I’m doing great. Just got one foot in the grave, that’s all. These nice long cuts in my leg are just beautiful. Want to proof read these suicide notes I wrote since you’re such a hotshot writer with a published book?

But you don’t come upstairs to look me in the face, do you? And you say you “care”?

Hahaha, oh boy. Don’t bother to see me now […]

well i stumbled across this website when i was just looking for some ways to kill myself….i problem should say some back story im 14 years old and have cut for eight years…i have tryied suicide 14 times but clearly they all have failed i was never the smartest person and i have few friends most witch have moved away or killed themselves. I mean this morning i woke up to a friend crying and then i heard them shoot them self in the head…i heard them smash there head onto a hard floor and now i feel nothing..no emotion. i mean people tell jokes […]

I thought I could trust her with my heart.

She told me she loved me and we had the most amazing relationship together.

Then she left me lonely

I am still in love with everything about her. Her hair. Her face. Her way. She abandoned me, even though she promised she would never leave.

Life has no meaning anymore. She was my everything. Now she is only a distant memory that I’m still in love with.

I know that she will never come back to me

And that is why I will be in pain for the rest of my life

bm

I was born in broken home. My father was an alcoholic. He is clearly a psychopath without having any sense of empathy. While being alcoholic he tried to kill my mother. She born me sometime around that. She compensated her broken marriage with me, she got me emotionally overattached. She made me sexually uncomfortable by talking about sex. She severely abused me.  Once a week she was crying, screaming, shouting at everyone. She was coming to me and saying things I couldn’t even remember. She made me cry and she didn’t stop there, she just kept going and going. She was screaming she was going to […]

Where do you find the strength to go through the day? Do you work/go to school, clean your house, walk your dog and so on? Over the last 2 years I have been running between school and work and just 2 weeks ago I all the sudden decided to not get out of bed. I called my boss that I had enough and got one week of sick leave. I quit school and now I’m just lying here feeling beaten to death. I have been depressed since my teen years and thought it couldn’t get worse. But that was nothing compared to this. No strength […]

I hate how after all this time, i still can’t find the courage to
try it with someone else. Because of you, i find it hard to trust
everyone around me as i think that they will just leave me like you
did.You broke all your promises and i’m scared that everyone else
will too. I’ve learnt to play on the safe side so i don’t get hurt.
Im scared of getting hurt again, of just being left broken again.
i just don’t know how to let anyone else in, I’ve tried my hardest
to just forget everything, all our memories, but […]