im 17 years old, im not gonna lie ive had a great life good friends, family that love me, i apprecate it all, but i really want to die i just dont want to live i have no reason to kill myself but i feel the need to i feel worthless, alone and ive been sitting in my room for 5 hours now really thinking about just doing it, i have a rope set in my room ready to go, all i have to do is move and ill be gone forever, before i go please someone tell me is it just me who wants […]

My best friend is having a birthday party in a couple weeks but it’s at a water park. My thighs have pink raised scars and there is no hiding those in a bikini. I’m going to try different ways to cover them up and if that doesn’t work I guess will be “sick” that weekend. I would feel really shitty about doing that though. I never thought I would live long enough to have this problem. It’s not like I want to put a damper on everyone’s day by explaining my scars. I hate getting attention. Surprise everyone I’ve found a religion that requires me […]

I’m sick and tired of being alive. Give me a reason not to die. And please, that reason can’t be “Things get better” etc. All of that is bullshit. I don’t believe in that.
I’ve been said things like “You can’t love others if you can’t even love yourself”. I have just a few friends, but none of them understands how I feel. Everyone but one person. She’s like my last reason to be alive. She has suffered a lot more than me, but she takes the time to listen to my problems. One day I know I will lose her. One day I know […]

Life is a battle that we all must eventually lose. Each and every one of us is constantly at war. Fighting for survival. Some have a more difficult battle to fight and some lose before they’re ready…

I guess what I’m saying is that life is difficult. There are so many risks. People die everyday… A lot of people. Death is a part of life. It’s inevitable, but sometimes it comes too soon. The lives of peoples children, peoples mothers or fathers are taken every day without a choice. And here I am… Wanting to throw it away… and for what? What would I benefit from killing […]

Pencil and paper, is that all it takes?

wrong.It takes perfect words

sweet time, a million tears

strength? to write

to pour out your feelings?

to say goodbye?

letting go seems easy

til its written out

onto a clean sheet of paper

the hours you spent writing

searching for the right words

answering questions, that may be inquired

deciding when you should do it

is there ever a perfect time to go?

you’ve written several notes before

but this time it overwhelms you

your train of thought? gone?

your tears? never ending?

death? undecided?

that note will never be read.

at least not for a while.

is it not perfect yet?

or does fear take over?

it’s folded, neatly

slid away with the rest

waiting.

waiting.

for another day

As you can tell from the title this post is about society. Im just writing to say what do you people think about an age gap in relationships. Society doesn’t see anything wrong with a 26 year old going with a 22 year old yet a 17 year old going out with a 13 year old is wrong and nasty. Just wondering what you think about it as a close friend said they really like someone who is 3 years older than them but doesnt want to ask them as she thinks it’s wrong? I see this to but surely it’s no different from a […]

That’s all I ever hear. It’s just a “stage”. Every teenager goes through it at some point. All they want is attention. Lie. It’s all a lie. If this is a “stage” then it’s one long, never ending “stage”.  I’m not a three year old going through the “toddler stage” like every toddler goes through. That’s a “stage”. I’m NOT going through a “STAGE”!  this is a lifestyle. A lifestyle we dont want but are given.

Tears;
Droplets upon our faces
Screams;
Loud, unheard voices
Whispers;
Little nothings thrown into the wind
Smiles;
One fakes these
Laughs;
A different sound for each of us
Knives;
To cut away the pain on our skin
Pills;
A way to escape this reality of our world
Eyes;
Dark and dull, observing, watching, glaring
Ears;
They hear the insults, the screams, the voices
Mouths;
They talk, they whisper, they scream
Hearts;
They’re broken throughout the day

Why should I keep living? Why should I keep waiting? Why should I keep going? Why should I go on? Why should I keep screaming? Why should I keep crying? Why?

that doesn’t want to catch the bus alone?

Just trying to register for this site made me consider swallowing a bottle of pills.

Anyone suffering from depression knows it can be very hard to concentrate on even simple tasks. I hate that part of depression, it makes me appear so dumb at times. Trying to remember how to spell words is so hard for me.

its amazing to realize how much stress/depression/anxiety have an effect on almost all aspects of my life,  especially so many physical things.  But of course (according to my family) there is really nothing wrong with me.

So many questions
Not enough answers
So many wounds
Not enough bandages
So many tears
Not enough tissues
So many pieces
Not enough tape
So many scars
Not enough memories

So much sadness
Not enough happiness
So much hate
Not enough love
So much hurt
Not enough comfort
So much pain
Not enough pleasure
So much negativity
Not enough positivity

Do you see how much I need you right now?

You’re the one that I love and I’m saying goodbye.

Will you let her go?

You lift me up just so I fall.

I wish you were here.

I’m barely hanging on.

I learned to live, half alive.

Just one chance, just one breath; Just in case there’s one left.

No you don’t know what it’s like.

There’s many things I wish I didn’t do.

Songs: When You’re Gone, Say Something, Let Her Go, Reckless Heart, Wish You Were Here, Behind Those Hazel Eyes, Jar of Hearts, Far Away, Welcome To My Life, The Reason

Does that even make sense?

My life has been fraught with death.  Now it’s all around me, like a heavy curse

And it’s only going to keep happening.  It’s only going to get worse.  How can this be tolerable?

I was thinking that it’s one more reason to get out of here.  By dying, you beat the others to the punch.  You don’t have to watch a presumably healthy person vanish before your eyes.

I don’t really think I’m equipped to deal with it, considering.  Just like I’m not equipped to deal with life in general.

Why sit around and watch the horrible parts of life happen?  Especially when that’s […]

just die. please. end this. there’s a train coming right towards me and i don’t even move. what’s wrong with me?! have i no shame? have i no honor? have i no GOD? indeed, i’m a disgrace to my family of achievers. yes, i’m a man who wastes his days away playing swtor and masturbates everyday. i want to change. but i can’t. but i wanted to. i think i don’t want to. every time i look at the mirror, all i see is the embodiment of failure.

i know my girlfriend is sick of me being negative. why shouldn’t she? there are millions of positive, […]

When I look at others, I think to myself.. Wow they must have an amazing life and family, when really they don’t. They may act happy, they may act like they have everything they could ever want. Most people have given me the impression that they get what they want, and ask me why I act like I have nothing. I use to think they had more than me, when in reality, I have more than them. Their parents don’t care. They try but never receive the affection they deserve. Parents with a lot of money don’t pay attention to their family, they focus more […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXy6JElmgHU

I believe it’s common sense that ignoring others is pretty rude, especially if you talk to them or ask them something, whether it is in person or over the internet. Do they just not know? Like forgetting that you asked them a question? Or do they not want to talk to you for whatever reason? And if that is the case why don’t they just say that? Do they actually think that not responding is the better choice? Do they not realize what an impact this simple choice has on others? Or do they know and  just like the fact that they are in a […]

My ex blocked me on fb again. This is the fourth or so time. This time I didn’t say anything. I really didn’t. Its all because I typed “k” instead of “ok”. He didn’t give me time to explain that I had to type one handed, with my non dominant hand, or that the reason was that I was trying to stop the bleeding because I fell off the wagon yet again.