My parents put so much pressure on me to strive for success. I get about 5 texts a day from my stepmother to apply for jobs that will “help me with my future”, none of which I even want. When in the car on my way back to uni the other day, my dad said that if my sister and I don’t get out and make “connections” and “try harder” that we will fail in life. They just want me to work and “get involved” 24/7. Plus they expect me to be happy. No one knows that I spend about an hour a day looking […]
For those who read my post yesterday, I feel the need to give you a feedback on how things went last night.
So I did talk with my friend. I was really anxious about it and unsure if she was the right person to tell everything. Some of you gave me a little strength to just try it. and I gave it a shot. I’ve always been a better writter than a talker when it comes to feelings and I thought I wouldn’t be able to express it clearly enough. But I did, and I guess that the way I told her things were ok ’cause […]
My name is Jeffery Eager. I’m a 24 year old who is tired of life. I have no friends what so ever. In fact, I’ve never had any real friends in life. I live in a crappy apartment that is a total mess. Life is getting so worthless at this point it’s hard to see myself going on for much longer. the only one who cares about me is my mother, who knows I’m suffering daily so I know she will understand my decision. I’m obviously still conflicted, that is why I’m here. Can anyone give me a reason to keep living my worthless life?
Suicide is ultimate goal of my life
but every time I think on suicide, some mysterious emotion from brain interrupting me to proceed.
I really don’t know what is that invisible force/logic/part of brain/emotion acting on me. IMO, all human species are deeply interlaced in a complex network. I think we humans should fund a psychology institute to solve this problem.
If other people are only stopping force of my suicide,
I hardly met 1000 people in my 25 yrs of life, and I am capable enough to convince myself that all are useless creatures not worth sharing a life with them. Hence these guys are not cause of that unknown […]
I just want to sleep I want to sleep for forever I’m so tired of this life it’s becoming even more unbearable
All I want right now is to kill myself. I’m jut sitting in my bed shaking and crying because I’m afraid to move. I don’t want to be alone right now but no one wants to talk to me…and I’m scared
People probably think that the reason why I cut my self is because of a stupid reason but considering that God has seen what has been done and knowing that I was also at fault kills my soul my mind and my heart. I told a couple of people, friends, family… but they all say the same “that’s pretty dumb… that happens to everyone and you think youre different? Please your just asking for attention that’s what everyone wants when they cut themselves.” Maybe that’s true. Maybe I want attention. Maybe the reason why I want attention because I want to be save […]
If I were to cut myself every time I felt low, there wouldn’t be an inch of my body left un-scarred. I honestly don’t know how much more I can handle anymore. I am moments away from breaking down in front of everyone that needn’t see my pain, ever. That’s the last thing I would ever want.
I wish I could tell someone.. but there is no one near to me I would dare tell, so I guess that’s where you come in.
I am stuck in my own goddamned hole. I’d like to think that I wasn’t the only one to dig it, for is depth […]
I guess you’re busy
I guess you don’t care
I guess you’re busy
I guess it doesn’t matter
I guess I shouldn’t bother you
I guess I shouldn’t tell you my problems
I guess I shouldn’t annoy you
I guess you’re busy
one cut
just one
one cut
up my
scarred arm
one cut
just one
one cut
that would
help me
one cut
just one
one cut
that im
so afraid
one cut
just one
one cut
that could
kill me
I have been cutting the 8th grade which was 6 years ago. I have been hospitalized twice for trying to kill myself. Thanks to a friend, I haven’t cut myself since October 25th. Some other things I found helpful was “the butterfly project” and a crisis text line. The butterfly project can be found on tumblr and facebook. The crisis text line was really helpful though. The number is 741-741 (I have it saved in my phone as CrysTaL that way people who look at my contacts wont know)
Too many people
Leaving Behind
Too many people
That “care”
Too many people
Would be filled with guilt
Too many people
That did nothing to stop me
Too many people
That will forget
Too many people
That will move on
Too many people
That I can’t leave because of them
There is a world just beyond your eyes,
A wonderful place, where beauty lies…
I’ve reached the point where i’m am unable of being happy. this is permanent. I don’t even have it in me anymore to fake a smile which is required in this fake world.  If fear of suicide keeps standing in the way i could end up homeless or on drugs. what’s the point of living that way …. i have to do it and fast
suicide has become the answer for me. leaving the world wouldn’t be so bad. I’m one person. Who cares. At least no one will know. I’m leaving soon. I’m gonna act like everything is the same. Happy and everything. I can do this. Goodbye.
As a person who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and feelings since my early childhood, I strive to understand such impulses and to make sense of why it is that the idea of leaving this world and no longer participating in this “game”…this “experience”… appeals to me so deeply and for so long now. By chance I happened upon this article:
DIVINE SUICIDE: Depressive Breakdown as a Call to Awakening – by Jeff Foster
It profoundly touched my heart and in the most genuine way has expanded my mind on the deeper meaning behind the thoughts I have struggled with for so long and the desire […]
Hi Guys,
Luckily I don’t have school. But that means that I’m just sitting alone in my room. I don’t know what to do with my life… I just. Sometimes I get these awesome happy moods. Like I am REALLY happy. Not a fake happy, but sometimes I get so suicidal. I question my existence. I question my purpose. I question my life. I question life. I question so many things. And then sometimes my friends don’t help and I just don’t know…
So I guess one of my down days are today because I just feel suicidal and down.
On a side note I might […]
General curiosity, and my apologies if this has been brought up before, I’m new here. Don’t quite know my way around yet, so forgive me. I’ve always wondered what is after this? Years of self abuse written like poetry in scars over my body. Years of self-hatred for everyone to see and stare at. One stint in the psych ward, and multiple suicide attempts thwarted and my mom or myself saying “oh no, I didn’t want to die, I was just overwhelmed” in order to save me from more stints in the psych ward. I never wanted help, I never cried out for help, I […]
i found this site about a year ago and wrote about how my life was fucked up and whatever. never did come back to see what anyone had to say since my shit supposedly started to get better. but now here I am a year later and i look at what i was freaking out about last year and god I wish my life was there now. not even 2 weeks after writing that I ended up getting pregnant again. my fiance and I were fixing things i guess and after waiting 2 weeks I told him i was pregnant and that i would be […]