Night before school and I am crying to the bf that I don’t want go , he doesn’t seem to understand how it feel to have no friends or how it feel to lock away in the bathroom cry your eyes just to come and show a fake smile , I’m just the freak at school no matter which school I go why can’t I just be homeschooled again why do I have to go tomorrow oh flipping well better practice my fake smiles happiness never lasts goodnight all sweet dreams.
Do I matter? Do my feelings matter? Do my thoughts matter? Does it matter that I want to cut, but I can’t? I have good days, but I have mostly bad days. Does it matter that I fake through bad days? Does it matter that I can’t break anything so soon I’ll break myself? Does it matter that I smile no more, except for fake smiles? Does it matter that I don’t care about myself? I know I’ve only been here for a day or two, but does it matter that I want to through myself into a dark abyss of nothing? I don’t know […]
All around
There’s smiles
All around
There’s laughter
All around
There’s twinkling eyes
All around
There’s happiness
I do not smile
Instead I scream in pain
I do not laugh
Instead I yell out, but no one hears me
I do not have twinkling eyes
Instead I have crying eyes
I do not have happiness
Instead I have pain
Hi,
My name is Anton and i’m 13 years old. I live in Sweden and i’m here because i don’t feel like living anymore.. My girlfriend broke up with me not long ago and shes just a person that i’m never going to be able to forget. I cry myself to sleep every night and thinking should my life ene here or is there still hope..school isn’t going good for me.. I cry all night. I fall asleep around 04:30 AM and wake up 06:00 AM. I would sacrefise myself for her.. I wrote two songs and i would do anything for her.. Both of […]
How can a mind be so full and feel so empty? I am at a loss. I sit here before the internet, which banks a great wealth of humanity’s knowledge. I have a notebook full of notes and deductions and musings on this, both of my own and other trusted authorities and sources. I have read notes of the successful. I have watched videos. Seen documentaries. Read posts on here. Studied any sort of research on the subject I can find. Yet I am still left with one unanswered question: how does one logic himself to death?
I know that reason is the key to conquering […]
This site is my home, no one fucks with my home.
I shall be watching for this user, and so should you.
That is all.
What is truth ? According to my family truth is based on the opinion of many and not the opinion of one . When the mass agree on one opinion that is now the truth. And to me humanity is flawed because we go against nature …… We believe in a supreme being no what the religion but as soon as we receive money or become rich we move further from religion ……could it be that we believe in a god because we were afraid of the unknown and that fits the role , the bible talks sorcery but we fail to believe in witches […]
https://www.facebook.com/cristianasantos.santos.94
Belief in any kind of afterlife, whether its in heaven/hell or reincarnation, i think is only because those people can’t accept death for what it is. it hides their biggest insecurity and fear of death for themselves or loved ones.
This is a poem i wrote about a child becoming an orphan and it causing them to be depressed and consider suicide. This stuff might seem out of order to some people but this stuff does happen and suicidal thoughts can occur to anyone, any age for any reason. Life can seriously suck sometimes.
Lonely am i,
I can’t bear their cries,
Of laughter and happiness,
While i have tears in my eyes.
I want to shut the world out,
Be locked inside,
 From the joyous surroundings,
Because recently my parents died.
So after coming really close to a slightly dramatic exit from this horror of a life. I’ve made a couple of changes; I quit med school and I’m now about to begin a life of aimless wandering, parents stopped talking to me but it’s all good, they were never really there for me to start with. Started writing a new novel and I’m really interested in starting a new band. So if any of you lovely creatures out there can play the guitar and drums and are located in Europe, let me know. Lets beat this thing together with some good music and creativity. I’m […]
I’m not sure if I trust myself, particularly my thoughts. I feel as though my memories are betraying me. I’m permitting the last to take control, a past that is neither factual nor fabricated, a past that I can’t trust. As I reminiscence about what I think has happened I can’t help but question the reliability of the source, have I gone crazy?
No one has a perfect life, some would like to believe they do but perfectionism is a flawed concept, it’s unattainable. Even knowing this some of us strive for flawlessness, even though our search is most certainly in vain.
I often question the meaning […]
Bloody bored
Here I go pulling out my Lego bricks
To once again pretend I give a shit
So what on Earth shall I build for you
Shall I make it out of crimson wrist red? Or suffocation blue?
Can I construct a spire out of your impotence
Or a cathedral heralding all the disappointments
Shall I straw a stick figure marching band
Will that finally make you feel like a man
Will I carve out a cardboard audience
In order to applaud your stirring performance
And I do believe that a bridge is order
Instead of guard rails, lined with divineg boarders
And support […]
They say that looks doesn’t matter.
Liars.
Really? Looks doesn’t matter? Then why do we have to be judged based on how we dress? Why does “First Impressions” counts?
I strongly believe that if you’re beautiful, you will be successful.
This theory applies everywhere. In work, in life, in relationships…
I’ve seen many people here posting about their loved ones. And they will always describe how beautiful he/she looks. Why? Why the looks? Why can’t they describe their character instead?
If you’re beautiful, you get the men/women.
If you’re beautiful, you get the job.
If you’re beautiful, you get more care and concern. And attention.
Random meditation about Suicide: It seems like the fastest way to kill yourself tends to be the most painful (in most cases).
Like there is a kind of correlation between the speed at which you die, and the pain you have to experience as a result.
Gun, jumping, train, excruciating pain for a brief period of time. Drowning, suffocation, kind of the middle ground. Starvation, dehydration, pills, uncomfortable pain for long periods of time. This thought entered my mind after a long day studying which method, dehydration or starvation, would be less painful. Between these two, starvation hurts less, but for a much longer period.
Of course if […]
what’s wrong with me?finally things are starting to look up – I have some money, and a boyfriend who adores me. Yet I fell into my ex-boyfriends arms today, knowing it was wrong, I feel like cutting again, and I’m craving a drink. Why am I so self-destructive?
It takes a while to let go enough to let this work, but I’m seeing results. Pretty nice for something you can get off pirate bay for free. Anyone else here have any experience with this? Do you have any recommendations?
I initiated an out of body experience using this. I got kinda excited and fell back in, but I have to say, this is interesting stuff.
Realtalk30 …. I fucking miss that guy….the only dude here willing to be realistic and brutally honest with people… Man I fucking miss him….from now on I’ll take his approach to this site…brutal fucking honesty…don’t like it? Oh well…the truth is rarely popular anyways…. I’ll spare no one…post some bullshit and logic and brutal honesty will accompany me to greet you…that is all…
Have a good day
Hi..I’m new here. I just wanted to share with someone how I feel.But how I feel can make you cry at night.Just like me. And I’m too young to hate the world so much. My life is a big tragedy. My friends left be because… Because I have LEUKEMIA ..please help me.Because my thoughts have destroyed me more than blades ever could. I’m only 13 years old.