Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I don’t want to live, but I don’t want to die either.

I’m sick of the pain and frustration that life forces on you… there is no escaping it. But I’m afraid that my attempt at ending it will fail, and that I’d continue to live as a vegetable or in a form of agonizing physical pain.

I also do not wish to cause my mother grief, nor anyone else for that matter. Pain is the exact thing I’m trying to avoid in life, so I’ve never gone out of my way to hurt others. She did not wish for a daughter that would have rather not been born. She wishes she could turn back time for me so she could grant my want. But that is as impossible as living happily feels to me is.

This world is such an ugly place. But I have no hope of this changing, nor the strength. It takes enough of my strength just to open my eyes every day.

Ahh… I don’t want either two. I’m looking for an easy solution, but either way, there is none.