Alright everyone. I’ve hit writers block in my book and I don’t know who else to turn to other that you guys 🙂 If I can get ANY help from ANYONE, I’d love and greatly appreciate it!!!

Its been some time since my last post, maybe a week maybe two. Time has been slipping past so fast I barely even notice it. It still is the same grey world but now there is something different about it. I gave myself a fighting chance. After I had posted I felt a small relief on myself my story was out somewhere and none judged it, instead they offered support and wishes for well being. Thats when I decided upon something.

I will make a stand for who I am and what I want. I refuse to beaten and pummeled by something that is not even […]

(Long post. Sorry.)

Only in the last few months have I felt this way, and it seems to be getting more intense (although manageable). I’m in my second marriage to someone that I love, respect and adore, but that is quickly falling apart. She can’t stand me. This morning she told me that she wants a divorce, and she’s serious. I will give it to her for her sake. Left up to me I’d fight her on it, but she really, really just wants out, and I’m 100% the reason why (her words).

My ex wife always said I was controlling and abusive, and I initially thought […]

My name is Tara Paige, and I live in Whitestown, Indiana. I attend Lebanon Senior High School; newly remodeled, multi-million dollar school.

My first year at this school was last year, my junior year. I LOVED it there! So many opportunities, so many nice people, teachers always wanting to help you with anything and everything! But, it didn’t last long. Everything I thought, was proven wrong to me second semester.

First semester was amazing! I made so many new friends, started crushing on a cute boy, had great grades, staying busy and just enjoying time with my new amazing friends.

Second semester came around and my life changed […]

because they all here on sp

being in the phase of ex-stream suicidal or depressed is worthful experience of a human life, very few get chance to experience it.

All sp visitors are fortunate to experience all the pain in the world.

If there are so many people in the world that feel like me, like us, why do I feel so alone? Like nobody can understand my thoughts? Like I can’t ever be 100% sincere sharing them? If there are so many people on here that feel the same way, why aren’t you the girl sitting next to me in class? Why aren’t you one of the people I have to see every day? Are we meant to die little by little of loneliness in the end? Is that what we deserve?

Feeling nothing,
PURPLEPAIN

The only thing that keeps me living is knowing that at any moment I can choose plan B. I would go  crazy otherwise. I’ll eventually do it anyway. You can’t fire me. I can quit. Why stay at a job you hate. I think its funny when people say don’t kill yourself. You will go to hell. Don’t you want to go to heaven? Lmfao. I know there is a hell and you don’t have to die to visit it either. It’s not that I want to die. Just wish I didnt have to be around another minute to suffer through it more. I don’t […]

If somehow you found yourself already having resolve and reason to kill yourself how would you do it?

For me (and I know its “selfish” and wrong) it would be suicide by cops because even though I think of myself as a waste of space I think just killing myself would not accomplish much on my agenda; might as well take the people I hate with me right? I mean if I just up and killed myself through hanging or jumping or whatever …who would care? no one. might as well release what has been pent up inside me for all my life in my last […]

The one thing that most people associate with Bipolar is bad husbands with anger issues.  It might sound stereo-typical but for the majority that is true.  You have to be extremely carefull not to share your anger/disappointment as it can erupt in the drop of a hat and you wig out.  I am a much more “peacefull” bipolar case than the usual but only due to the fact that I had grown up with the rage and it keeps me in check…most of the time…but I can rage with the best of them.

They say that Bipolar is inherited and it shows.  My dad has serious […]

im shivering
im cold
im crying
im broken
im alone
im terrified
im shivering

doors close
radio on
darkness within
no light
pain hurts
hurting now
doors close

feeling lonely
feeling useless
feeling worthless
feeling terrible
feeling hurt
feeling suicidal
feeling lonely

i scream
i yell
i talk
i whisper
i hear
i listen
i scream

within me
within darkness
within pain
within hurt
within loneliness
within brokenness
within me

Life Is Like A Road Trip Enjoy Each Day And Don’t Carry Too Much Baggage…

I am not happy. I don’t ever really remember a time  I was ever truly happy.  That’s the first time I have ever admitted that to myself.  I talked to my mother last week she said that her children are what give her a reason to fight when ever she feels down. What if  you don’t have anything to make you fight to stay. That’s were  I am in my life right now.  I never loved or been loved, If i was to leave this earth today it wouldn’t  impact any ones life. I could be happy. So when there is nothing else […]

So I did my GCSE mock exams and just got my results back… I got D’s in everything but English where I got an A… My mum, she told me that I tried my best and that’s all that matters, and that’s she’s proud I got an A, but my dad wasn’t so easy to please… He just kept telling me I should have straight A’s in all my subjects and that if I don’t get them he’ll disown me, and then slapped me.. Me being me I didnt know what to do, at first it was just crying but then I started cutting… I […]

I’m twenty-one year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I use to self-harm but don’t anymore. I also think I might have a personality and body dysmorphic disorder. I’m on a waiting list to see a psychologist, so hopefully that happens soon. I don’t usually talk depressingly with others, but I am more than willing to lend an ear if you wish to chat about things that are bothering you. It would be nice to also talk about things we like.

I like outdoor activities, but I don’t get out much, partly due to anxiety and […]

I cant remember a time when i wasn’t depressed, how long has it been for you? i think im going on about 3 years years now….but then again ive only been alive for 16

Life is so full of unpredictable beauty & strange surprises …

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

… Keep fighting with your life & You must move forward…

Keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful  thing & there’s so much to smile about…

I wish everyone has a great day 🙂 All The Best 🙂

 

Hi Guys,

Sorry it’s so late… I just don’t feel like posting anymore… I don’t feel like continuing with these daily posts… I just don’t feel like writing things down anymore. I think it’s better for me and for everyone if I just bottle things up. So…. I think I’m going to stop… I’ll keep writing… Just not every day… If you didn’t see one of my last posts about this topic here it is:

ive decided to bottle things up again. ive decided that it doesnt matter if im breaking, broken, or perfectly fine. it doesnt matter that i want a hug. it doesnt matter […]

all I wanna do is let go…

I just can’t keep going, but there is one person…

if I die…

she probably wouldn’t handle it at all…

why couldn’t she have walked away…

just like everyone else?