i hate this instinct to survive.  My intellectual self wants to die, my emotional self wants to die.  Why do I continue?  Why?  I know I would be better off dead.  How wonderful that peace must be.  I go to sleep at nite thinking please give me a good dream and don’t let me wake again

I don’t exactly know why I’m posting this. I don’t believe that I will kill myself, at least not yet. Although the thoughts are there. Constantly. I have thought about how I want to go, why I want to go, and the impact it would have on those who love me. It will be painful for them, I understand that. They will however live their lives. Without me. I’ve become a burden, a failure of a man. A failed marriage, failed fatherhood, failed life. I have no dignity left. No hope for the future left. No hope for happiness. My story is rather simple, and […]

I’m thirteen years old.  I don’t know if it’s true or not but for some reason I have the fact that my parents hate me implanted into my brain.  I can’t seem to be able to trust them no matter what.  They’ve been making fun of me for as long as I can remember.  Some days they’re always calling me names and screaming at me.  They always threaten and criticize me and make me feel like nothing.  They blow it off and say that they’re just being sarcastic and that I can’t take a joke, but I don’t laugh at any of their […]

I’ve been a shy person most of my life. It was when I entered college that I felt outgoing for the first time in my life. I’ve always thought my shyness came from an underlying fear of losing someone that I know (i.e. a friend, family member, etc.) My first experience with loss was when I was 5 years old. My brother was only 18 years old and died from a drowning accident. More recently, this past December 12th, I lost my mother. What bothers me the most about my mother’s passing is that her cause of death is unknown. The autopsy reports should be […]

Twisted and ill thoughts,
Shallow breathing,
Slit your wrists,
Forget the bleeding,

Go ahead, pull your hair,
A few more dull razors,
The memory is still there,
Close those big shiny, brown eyes,
They’re still watching, just in disguise,
The nightmares still haunt you in your dreams,
To all your monsters, you’re just a puppet on strings.

i want to die

i think its time

tempted
to write
my own feelings
but can i? no.
atlas i cannot write down
what i am feeling right now
why can i not? why can’t i?
so many things, people, cares, worries, frets, etc
maybe its good to bottle things up and lie
how am i? how am i doing? how are you?
i reply with, i’m fine.” i wish i could tell the truth
maybe someday i will be able to over come my fears, and tell
the real, down to earth, truthful, honest truth about how i really, truthfully feel

I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate my life. I hate this world. We’re so fucked up. In the way that people are. The way we act, the way we have to live. I just don’t know if I can be a part of it anymore. And I don’t know if I’ll make it to the end of the week.

I just wanted to get better. To get these things out of my head. To stop seeing things, to stop hearing things. To stop hurting myself and everyone else. To know what’s real and what’re not. But everything’s just gotten worse. […]

I’ve had quite a few people get intouch with me so far,  the conversations have been great, but I’m wondering who else is out there?

I’m a 21 year year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I don’t normally talk about my own issues, though I’m always upfront with others, I’ve found it easier to talk deeper about said issues with someone that actually relates, but I would also like to talk about other things, I guess it depends on whoever contacts me. I don’t care about your gender, I’m panromantic, not that it matters. I […]

Life is short but death last forever!
But it seems like it takes forever to die.

Since when did this place breed so much hate and hurt? if its not here its in a chatroom related to this place. i think which post im talking about if obvious.
the thing is that post and this post shouldnt be necessary. is there not enough hurt in our lifes outside the sight that it becomes necessary to hurt other members?
To “joke” at their exspence for nothing other than cruel enjoyment at hurting others, was it not that cruelty from others that drove us here? is this what our members consist of, abusers and abused?
I am here because this is the one […]

Things become complicated when talking about the source of my depression…  Apart from the Bipolar and the usual day to day naturaly occurring depression, there is almost certainly a third…

Appologies for the length of the post, I hope someone is bored enough to read the whole thing ;)  I just wanted to post it in case I had to explain things again at some point…

I have a fairly rare connective tissue disorder called Marfan’s Syndrome.  About one in every 5000 people are affected.  The condition is extremely hard to diagnose and I was only diagnosed by the age of 28.  As a baby, I refused […]

I’ve had depression for a number of years. My parents work all the time and I wouldn’t consider my family to be close anyway so i’ve always been independent. When I was 11, my dad left my mum because she was an alcoholic but came back after 3 months. My mum lied to me for years about how he had left for another women but no..it was because of her and I was only told this 4 months ago. I’m not really close to anyone. I literally don’t care about anything anymore. It makes me laugh how even my dad thinks I’m not depressed, he […]

Most of you probably already forgot me.  I got kicked off here a while back.  Excuse me, my “posting” priviledges were removed.  I only came back to post a link.

A nice young lady from Maine saw my last post here with the admin and kindly asked me to come administrate on her page.  We are going to launch a web page later on.

If anyone here wants to come join the party, we will make your daily life a little brighter.

This is for self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Chris (healing in his wings)

https://m.facebook.com/mainesuicideawareness?ref=stream&soft=jewel%3D2

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QphK9wwzssU=em

Well, I guess you can say I’m contemplating suicide. I’ve been through a lot I suppose and I’m not sure how to handle it anymore. I’ve attempted suicide before, when I was around 11 or 12. I was too young to realise it took more effort then what I put in. And now that I’m older I realise that it might be best to just end my life. I know that I will hurt people, and that isn’t my intention, I love my friends, my family, my boyfriend. But I don’t want to lose my grandparent’s trust, or ruin my boyfriend’s life or not be […]

It all started 4 months ago,when I had a surgery..I never felt like that before..I was in the hospital for 2 weeks..Every day I thought that someone will visit me,at least show me that they care a little..But,no one came,not even the person I called my best friend..When I told him I was in hospital,he said he didn’t notice I was gone..That hurted me a lot..That was the first time I felt lonely and the first night I cried..After a while,suicidal thought’s started to come..I started praying every night to god that something change..but nothing did..Then,one night I met someone over the internet,I never thought […]

It never ceases to amaze me just how cruel and insane the world can be.

People will just build you up and then blow you up for their own enjoyment. So many people have hated me my entire life. I have noting left to look forward to in life. this is driving me insane! I just wish I could be a different person and experience what’s it’s like to have a family, friends, and a girlfriend. I never will get to experience any of those things Why keep this suffering going?

Hello everyone on this wonderfully miserable forum 😉

I am thinking of offing myself soon, but the trouble is I am a bit stuck in that Twilight Zone where you don’t know how to live, and don’t know how to die.

I was thinking of using my car to achieve Poisoning. I have a pretty old car so I guess that will do the trick.

But now I am told that taping a bag over my head will probably not be as bad as it seems, as you just fall asleep at some point.

Anyone has experience with either of these methods?

I’ve had enough pain in life, and I […]

There are those times in all of our lives, where we feel like we haven’t seen her in such a long time.

There are some times, you haven’t seen her in such a long time, you don’t even remember what she looks like.

It is usually around that time, she decides to come over for a surprise visit, she’s a funny one, that aunt D.

She can come to you while you were having a great day, then you lie in bed and her ugly face shows up again.

Or sometimes, just when you feel like you cannot bear her company anymore, she gets up and leaves.

But in the […]

I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, “Is that all there is to a fire?”

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If […]