long story short, my life blows and I can’t change my situation for at least 3 more years… SO looking to get this shit over with it it’s gone from bad to progressively shitty. please please help me finish it. I’ve tried everything. therapy, medication, mental institution, communication, sobriety, nothing works. looking for femoral artery method tips or hs2/detergent gas method. I DONT want to hurt anyone else, so please any advice/tips on it??

Thats it… goodbye

today was a bad day for me because most people don’t like me and i don’t know y because i don’t really do anything to anyone for them to not like me and i only have 3 good friends and i get made fun of every day of my life and i can’t take it anymore it is really starting to get to me and i just want to end it all but i don’t think i can i want to be something in me is telling me not i just don’t no what to do anymore!!!!!

I am an idiot. that’s what i am. a fool. i am a dreamer. i am not living in reality. why do i act stupidly in front of others? why the hell? why can’t i ever know how to act? i’ve such a self-defeating tendency… i deliberately ruin everything. even at those actual moments i know what i am speaking and how it can be changed to give a better and more clear presentation of what i’m trying to say, but i don’t do that. i deliberately speak whatever the stupid statement come in my mouth. i know the hidden actual meaning/emotion behind their statements, […]

I feel so alone right now I can’t explain it but I feel like I matter nothing to anyone at all. I feel its as if I don’t belong here on this world and if I died tomorrow it would matter none as no one would miss me at all. I wish I was never born because I feel like everything I touch turns to shit. I feel like everything is crumbling around me and everyone hates me even my girlfriend I just want something to go right all I am is a disappointment  and I will never stop being one. I hate myself.

If I knew anxiety was produced by my right arm I would find a way to tear it off. There is no emotion that turns physical on me faster or more intensely than anxiety. I drank and took every drug I could get my hands on for many years trying to avoid anxiety. Of course that never really worked except when I passed out but what good is that? I turned to guided meditation and self hypnosis for a while but that never really worked either. I tried spiritual things too but I found that there isn’t really a God out there that gives a […]

I am tired. Faking the smile, holding back the tears, hiding the scars, everything. These past 3 years have been so exhausting I feel as though my time is coming soon. The thoughts grow stronger, and my deep need for death seems imminent. I just want to go and never look back. I don’t want to write notes or express anything to my relatives or friends for my passing. I just want it to be quick and painless.

My question to all of you:

How has near suicidal success affected you?

I Have several business plans I’d like to discuss…I think I’ve came up with an invention that could make me filthy rich…. If you think you can contribute and you’re trust worthy…. We can brain storm about improving my idea and getting funding…

ok so im gonna start writing posts everyday to keep track of things…..so heres day 1

january 20th, 2014

Today has been ok overall. Im just exhausted. Physically…emotionally and mentally. I am honestly drained. I dont know what to do anymore. i have so  much goin on but noone seems to care. So much goes on through my mind that i cant sort through it. im sick of my brothers bullshit. He needs to get off his ass and actually do something i am tired of supporting his ass. Im tired of being the one that holds everything together. Im so fed up ugh.

Days since suicidal thoughts: […]

To feel as if you want to just jump off a bridge to stop the silent hurt that is slowly coming, you can’t see it, you can’t stop it, all you can do is feel the agony it brings to you, the hurt and pain it puts you through, to think but not know your thoughts, like they are masked, to not even know they are there till it’s almost too late. To not know if your suicidal, you don’t think you would ever want to make yourself not live, just sometimes, once in like a month you feel if you could just disappear […]

Hi, my name is Dallas, nice to meet you.

I’ve got a secret to tell you, but first, you must hear my story

I am 15 years young. “I’m fine” is my favorite thing to say. I bet you’re a bit like me. I’ve dealt with depression, anxiety, insomnia, and minor PTSD. They’ve treated me like a lab rat. I’ve been on almost every psych medicine you could possibly think of. I’ve been hospitalized 20+ times in the past two and a half years, because people freak out. I’ve been to 2 residential placements, Valle Vista and Allendale. Have you heard of them? […]

7 yrs ago I took a drug called Cipro and it caused toxic damage to my muscles and nerves.  I’m in horrible pain every nite.  My hands hurt as I type this.  It is so hard to hang on.  I don’t want to leave my family and friends…..life is pain.

For the most part in my life I new I was always the problem. But to have it confirm by someone I love. Its the most painful thing to hear. To know you aren’t wanted by no one. Maybe im not meant to be on this plant or any plant to be exact or maybe im here to take the blame for everyone. Im not good at anything it kinda sucks I fail at my medical assistance test I lost my first job because people didn’t like me, I get bitched at everyday for no reason what so ever. But I the reason my parents fight […]

Something akin to a smoker with no cigarettes

a junky with no junk

My soul is unsatiated, a hollow heart for a friend.

This pain is ongoing, unending, unyielding, unceasing

Carving away at an already empty vessel.

If this body could lie down and never awake

If this soul could fly up and out and on

Into the darkness

The vast darkness.

There is comfort in an enveloping never ending darkness

A place with no pain.

I am currently struggling with self harm and being on the internet a lot, i constantly see pictures of scars and wounds from self injury.

I was just wondering whether to other people self harming or in recovery, these pictures trigger you and make you want to self injure, or they put you off it and make you feel bad for ever using it as a coping mechanism?

Sorry if you don’t understand, my thoughts can get confusing.

ME OPS????fed up with refelctional frens(acts like ur therpist of sleeps ell except u to set u  up with someobodi compley wrong for u)/karoolivigians(wutevre it is u like coming to suemthing …)… I JUST WISH I EXISTED IN SUMBD,IS HEART….

So ive been wondering what would you class as the worst regret of your life? Screwing up suicide attempt or being born does not count.

All the sweeties that is part of our little online world can we just agree to disagree please lets just get to help people and being lovey – dovey friendly this agruement is really sickening

truth is
i don’t want you to go
i want you to be there
i want you to hug me
i want you to hold me
i want you to tell me it’s okay
to tell me ill be okay
but i can’t let you do those things
you have more important things
you have to live your life
ill be lonely, yes
ill be broken, yes
ill be sad, yes
ill be torn apart, yes
but youll be happy