So yesterday morning I decided to talk to my managers and get help. The really listened. One of them drove me to the hospital where I said I wanted to be put on a hold. The doctors ran a few tests and decided that it was best for me to go home. My parents had to get me, and because I’m 19, the doctors didn’t tell my parents anything, so I basically got yelled at by my mom, who won’t really talk to me now. My dad said that he’d look into making me an appointment at the base clinic. But so far, the people […]

suicide is my only way for me now i am 34 ,just a bad quality person selfish stupid slow,i have no friends no carizma i have 2 kids from 2 different women but i dont feel sad to leave them in this world may be because i hadn’t enough love in my childhood –. i cannot take anything seriously and no one take me seriously . …now i have a serious problem and i dont have any power to face it because i know that all the stories of success or love or happyness are just dreams .the only truth is that we are mortals […]

Fucken genesis *****

Before time and light there was only the never beginning and never ending darkness, nothing was born yet everything died in the ever hungry and all consuming darkness only to be spat out as more darkness, darkness breading darkness that fed off its own darkness, ever hungry and never truly satisfied the darkness was destined to eat its own body to fuel its ever exspanding self, for the darkness was there before space and distance were concieved, making it incomprehensibly vast and infinitesimally minute, constantly growing and shrinking in complete chaos. but in its ever ravanous stomach something was brewing, bits of the […]

http://www.wikihow.com/Act-Like-a-Pixie

Hi Guys,

Not really in the mood to write anymore. But some of you like it so… I’ll continue on.

How am I? I feel just so… lonely. My friend and I went on a night hike last night. (weird thing to do, but it was fun ish.) About 10 cars passed and all I though was it’d be easy. It’d be so easy to just jump in front of a car… It’d be so easy to just get hit… And just die. I mean I’m so small I bet it would kill me instantly, but then I thought of my deal. I jump, you jump. […]

Sp used to be a home for me but now it’s been defiled with regilious babble it’s so annoying guys seriously just stop already the rules say no preaching and this has gone way too far for the sake of the non religious …..could you please stop

Kris

Option 1: Work hard, Create a company, Die naturally perhaps happily

Option 2: Try to find the answer to the question ” Why human life is pointless”,  suicide one fine day

Option 3: Go to Himalaya, practice how not to think anything (meditation) because thinking on ” why human life is pointless?”  is also pointless. wait till death happens

Taking a break from sp till all this religious speech is done it is sickening now so lates peeps

Items needed:

Headphones, the best you can afford or borrow…

I thought things were getting better but apparently im still stuck in this rut. Im sick of life and living it. There isn’t anything here. I feel lost. I jus dont know how to be who I am because I dont know who i am. A couple of four letter words that all have the same meaning for me. Life, love, and pain. You live to hurt and you love and get hurt.

I’m held back from “doing the deed”. It’s innate and external factors, I believe. There is a part of me that has ceased to care about either. I acknowledge them, but I push the deep thoughts away. I want to leave.

My reasons for staying are limited. I don’t know what will come next for me in life. Sure, I can create my future to be absolutely amazing, and carry it through with some serious will-power and ambition. Ambition…..I can grasp it and never let it go, if I chose to. Why am I not choosing to? I don’t care about myself, apparently. I’m looking for […]

how could he just leave me stranded when he knew I had nobody else? how does this not hurt him as much as it hurts me?? apparently he didn’t love me enough to stay. all I had was him when everybody else abandoned me. but now he has done the same… he said ” I had gotten to the point where I broke every body, including myself..” ……… okay. that makes a lot of sense! (NOT!) <<<< I just don’t get that?? like how? how do you let go of a broken girl if your broken too. << does that make any sense? idk im just mad. […]

going through some shit in life and the more I try to not think about it and distract myself from it and keep my mind from thinking about everything by staying in my room and reading a book or whatever(flight)… more im encouraged to go out, see the world and live and feel better(fight) I don’t want to go out, I want to simply stay where I am.. I find myself fighting better by fleeing.. is this normal? is this even right?

PS- I think like this because when I’ll go out to run.. I’ll just keep thinking of everything(I know coz I tried) but when […]

I dont know why,i enjoy pretty much rain.The sky gets a special colour,theres no many people in the streets,it gives an apocaliptic image,so calm,so relaxing.i love to smoke joints when its raining,the smoke dancing with the water drops while portishead or zero 7 sounding in may mobile.i would love to get naked in the middle of the city and walk through the empty streets with the rain falling.

Hi Guys,

I know being on here isn’t good for me. But I just had to write. So you wouldn’t worry. Well maybe you don’t care. Or worry. *shrugs* I guess most of you just pass this post because it seems to be long. I don’t really care. It’s just nice to write my feelings down somewhere. Even if no one reads this. It’s just nice.

So today I woke up late. Felt suicidal. Got a terrible headache and I couldn’t take any pain pills because I don’t trust myself with that kind of stuff. I then had to proceed to go on a 5 hour car […]

2 days ago, out of the blue,  i got kicked out of the only place i have ever truly called home. been staying at a place with no room for me. no bed. no spare blankets. ive been using the dogs own – sleeping on the floor. this bothers no one though. im too young – 19. have gone through breast cancer. i’ll be delusional and pretend im okay but when i think about myself i just cant do anything. cant eat either. i havent eaten for almost 48 hours. i feel like throwing up anything that touches my lips. im so tired but i […]

how could you just do that … all i ever think about is you, and now I’m so lonely. i miss you with all my being. u never cared did you. you never ever liked me and i was just this stupid clingy thing that should just die in a hole. it was all in my head. i just can’t….believe it i guess. i can’t bear to accept it. I’m just tired….i really really…..i just.. I’m pathetic. its like all of that was a dream. it really is like it never happened now, isn’t it? there you go, on with life, and I’m just STUCK […]

I’m in such a bind and don’t know what to do. I have to find a job and go for interviews. I’m so scared about what they will think about my cv. There are a lot of gaps in it. Times when I felt so depressed and could really just focus on studying and nothing else. It took me a lot longer then normal students to get through my studies. Now that I have my degrees I still feel useless because the employers will want to know what I was doing while taking so long to get my studies done. It’s so unfair. It took […]

After 3 years in a new town trying to make something happen I can honestly say it’s only a matter of time, I have about 6 months before my debts are paid off and no debt for my family when I decide to check out. I am a 43 year old male who doesn’t go a day without thinking of topping myself, I am so alone and just can’t seem to get anything happening worthwhile, I have a shitty dead end job and a son living interstate, I know a lot of people will say you have to live for your son but I just […]