They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result each time. I always have felt like I’m different then everyone else, but I never truly believed that I’m crazy.. Well, not loony-bin crazy, at least. I just think for the most part I’m a product of my environment, and as the years have gone on and I’ve been through so much pain and bullshit, I am starting to see the steady deterioration of my mental health. God, I wish I could turn back time. I mean, at 13, I knew I’d been abused as […]
I don’t know how to start this but i guess today has been a shitty day for me and it got me thinking of how shitty my life has become-_-
Let me start this by telling about how over the last few years i have been in love with this girl and 4 months ago we finally realized we were meant for each other and are happy together. Also to mention we are long distance. sounds great? Well it almost seems like when we started dating that my life turned to shit. None of this is because of her, she has been amazing and she is […]
I know it doesn’t hurt, but
breathe anyway.
Breathe anyway.
Breathe anyway.
I know you’re not tired, but
sleep anyway.
Sleep anyway.
Sleep anyway.
I know you’re not scared,
but shake anyway
Shake anyway.
Shake anyway.
I know you’re not sad, but
cry anyway.
Cry anyway.
Cry anyway.
I know you’re not in pain but
bleed anyway
Bleed anyway.
Bleed anyway.
I know you feel free but
fight anyway
Fight anyway.
Fight anyway
I know sometimes it feels like we’re in this for nothing. Some days you can’t get out of bed. Most days you can’t get out of bed. When you close your eyes and lay down, all you can hear are the voices that make you eat your mind. Sometimes they’re so loud that all you can do is silently scream by yourself. Sometimes you have to actually scream at nothing. That’s what it seems like, right? Like you’re screaming at nothing? It’s like the problems aren’t problems in reality, but the fact that you exist at all is the problem. I can vividly describe the […]
From Ellen’s home planet, good morning to you. 🙂
Im kinda new at this, but here ya go. Im the guy that everyone knows, and some consider their friend at school. I live in the dorm, so i got some close friends. But if i have friends so close, how can they not tell behind all my laughs and jokes, Im dying inside. I just want to scream, tell someone all the shit im going through. How Im watching everything good, everything that I care about going to pot around me. The girl I love doesnt want me, doesnt love me anymore. Im failing my classes. I try but im just not good enough. […]
What the crap, is up with the security question for this site nowadays? “Who was the second president of the united states?” John Adams, john adams, john Quincy adams, john quincey adams. none of them worked. was I mistaken by history? took me forever to make a New profike beacuse my password is lost on the old one. had to wait for the “what color is healty grass”? question to finally make a new. Anyways, if any of you pople are still here form the past, find me.  [SyKo]NuclearAnthrax , was the previous Account name. So yes, life is crapsalad. i want to cut. cut cut […]
First Post?
Yes, it is. So let us start from the beginning shall we?
I’ve been on this earth a medium amount of time, but I feel so much older, like I’ve been here since the beginning. I hate everything about myself and my life.
I live with family, bouncing from couch to couch, I live out of boxes and suitcases, but honestly, I don’t even need them. I used to go to school until my depression just got the best of me (I was diagnosed 3 years ago).
Before this..I had a pretty ok life, I was with the guy of my dreams, and I mean, we fought […]
im just broken and hurt and lost i feel like suicides the only answer ive been told over and over im worthless and i should kill myself already PLEASE HELP im only 15
I used to think i’d be someone in life. I spent 5 years of my life believing in this dream, that i would actually achieve fame and fortune someday through my music. I relied on my lyricism, hoping that I could change the way hip hop music sounds today into something beautiful which in turn could be appreciated by a wider audience. But that was until today, when i finally realized how shitty my voice and delivery were.  I first turned to hip hop music when I was 13 simply because it was something that didn’t require having the ability to sing nor play any […]
I feel as if no one will ever understand I tried to explain and they did not listen what’s the point in repeating myself. Only for them to ignore me. They act like this will pass but they don’t understand how much I’m suffering. They tell me to fix it. How can I fix it? I may seem so cold to people but I don’t mean to I’m just so angry. I never will be what everyone wants me to be I was not born to make people happy. And for them to say I’m only sad because I want to be is like punching […]
Tonight I hate myself. More than I have in years… That’s saying something. Close to the end, and it’s looking darker but it will be all gone soon.
I’m unappreciative, annoying, attention seeking, fat, spoiled teenage girl. I make my friends feel like shit, talk shit about my own friends, and make everyone hate me. Even though I am apparently a “social butterfly,” I feel like I’m alone.
I know I’m not a good person.
I’m a liar.
I don’t know why I do it, and nights like these I sit in bed and cry. I still cut, too, and broke my 5 month streak of not cutting.
I’m a complete failure to every body. When I hurt my friends/family or fight with them, I always act like it doesn’t make me feel bad, but it really […]
Here is to my special awesome lady dragon who has a hard time suffering with a lot of things.
I’m very happy that we met and I’m very happy we’re together. Without you, I’d be dead, when love comes in to my mind, I think of you. You’ve saved me from being alone and being sad all my life, you’ve gave me a life to live for, because of you.
No matter how short or how long this relationship will be, I’ll always be with you. If you die, I die. If you kill yourself, I’ll kill myself too. It doesn’t matter, you won’t die alone. Because […]
let’s start from the beginning, since im new to this…..
i thought we had a happy family, me, my mom, my dad, and my brother. when i was about six i started to notice things weren’t as great with my family as i thought they were. I was eight years old, when my parents got in a really big fight. i mean i actually thought that , this fight was the end of our family. that was the first night i ever cried myself to sleep. my parents always talk about how they were so happy and shit before i came along and sometimes before my brother. […]
I woke up this morning, thinking it was all a dream. Thinking that, maybe, I was just so stressed out, I was having bad dreams. I was wrong, though, and I knew it. My step-father really had tried to kill his own daughter. And like a scared soldier in the front, I stood there shaking in my boots.
I keep thinking to myself that I should’ve acted sooner, instead of standing there, too sacred to move, as my step-dad tried to strangle and punch my step-sister. Is own daughter…. Who could do that?
Eventually though my adrenaline kicked in. I screamed at first, demanding that […]
Ive tried to commit suicide more than I have tried most things in life…pretty much always hated life, always has been something. I realize that I just cant do it…I dont like the fact that I cant do it…its just the horrible joke that is my life.
So I want to know how to make it better with the things I have holding me back…and let me make this clear…My intentions in life were good…I had no dreams but their were things I wanted to do.
I am 24 now, I was 19 years old when I gave up on the career that I knew I would […]
I wish my parents were different. I’m sick of never doing anything right. Oh well, I guess. But I realized something. I don’t want to ever marry a guy. I’m afraid that he would treat my kids the same way that my dad treats me. I won’t let that happen. I don’t want any little girl to go through anything like I have. Or any little boy, for that matter. Seriously. As much as it hurts me, I don’t want anyone else to go through it. So I’ll live alone. I’ll do whatever I want, and have no one else to judge me. That’s another […]
They say everyone was born for a reason. Then why was I born was I just made for fun to be tossed and yanked at for fun. When do I get a break when do I get to say I am happy with my life and I don’t want to trade it. When do I get to feel like all the weight on my shoulders are gone. When do I get a friend a true one that won’t like me for what I have, but who I am. When will I not feel hurt when someone calls me stupid fat ugly and worthless because […]