I hate this place… UGHH!!! me n my foster sister (shelly) gor caugh shoplifting and everyones treating me lik shit. shellys’ twin (Kelly) snitched on me!! wtf!! but not for shoplifting it was for smoking weed and having a bowl in my room… but still. and she was making up a shit load of lies! ughh I just don’t no y she would do that I would do anything for her. I gave her money to put on her moms books. :'( but im so happy for the 2 younger twins (Karrie and Marrie) and when my foster mom said she was gonna search my room, they hid my shit and […]
So I thought I’d just make a PSA that trying to buy ******** doesn’t work. After about a month’s worth of correspondence with a seller, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that they’ve screwed me over. They were based in Cameroon (seems like a lot of these sellers are) but had people in the US selling bottles. First they had me wire $500 to someone who turned out to be “not at her post anymore”, then they had me send $1000 to someone in a different state which should have been the of the deal. Turns out their USPS guy “needs to be bribed and […]
I love you now
Ill love you tomorrow
and I will love you always!
Sometimes we say things that we dont mean..
I am here for you! I swear to you that I am… I have been from the start, and I will be until the very end
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I SWEAR
Love you always, Abselom<3
Its not that we always means the word we say exactly how we say them.
We speak (or type) the first words that come to mind.
Our thoughts and feelings that have been kept silent just come pouring out all at once.
We dont mean to be mean or rude or to hurt anyone.. we really dont.
We’ve all been there, right?
It happens?
I am sorry.. Venting and just putting everything to words…
I just realized I have no really friends they all live in my head, I’m not schizophrenic, I just talk, I imagine who I would talk to. It’s like there is some one who actually cares about me. No one in real life would listen or care about my problem like suicide and cutting so I had to make people who would listen. For the past 4 years I lived in this world that I have created in my head, ever time I am alone physically, I’m never alone in my mind. Thats how reality is, its not really none of it, no really cares about you. I guess that’s why […]
well i have this friend shes is like a fucken ***** some times and makes me feel like complet shit and then some times she like a life saver and i felt so bad when some  one told me some one died in her family and i felt like the biggest worthless peace of shit becuse i was telling her about things and then she said i was anoying and i tryed to leave her and just think alone and be sad with out her i cant tell weather people are my friends or just feel bad any more killing my self honestly seems like […]
Okay so last time I made a post was a couple of days before 7th grade and now I’ve been through half the year.
Also, Happy new year.
Anyway. <.> Um. So. Things haven’t been the best this past year.
For example, there’s this kid at my school, Andrew. He seems pretty cool and I wouldn’t mind being friends with him. (I don’t like him like that..) But my best friend told me he thinks I’m scary.. :c I asked her, “What’s so scary about me?” and she said “Well from a distance you kind of look really mean. And if I was some random kid and you […]
I don’t have anybody to talk to. I sit alone in my house all the time cause its better than having to fake a smile for any more than i have to. I wish i had someone who knew how i felt and who understood how i feel.
i have been bullied since 1st grade and i only had one true friend that stuck by me through everything and last year she tried to commit suicide. If my friend tries again and succeeds i will also commit suicide cause i couldn’t imagine life without her.
Idk how much longer I can take of this useless life of mine. Its geting worse another year and im still depressed miserable lonely and wanting death more than ever. I had another breakdown the other day but this one was different… My entire soul broke cracked in peices. So I cut it didnt hurt much feels good too good . Im scared of myself when I look in the mirror I nolonger see me . I see the person who been killing me since I was 6 years old. She’s smiling telling me to finally give up to do it already. The last […]
My name is Nothing.
At least, that’s what The Clowns calls me.
I slip on my clothes and stumble down stairs. The Mrs.Clown is getting ready for work while The Mr.Clown reads the paper. As if I am a ghost, they stare through me and I slump into the chair at the table. The Ms.Clown tosses a breakfast plate in the direction it thinks I am. I reach out and catch it. Lies again. I think to myself, “Is there nothing else to eat in the world?” I pick the word love up and bring it to my mouth it tastes bitter, but it is needed […]
So I had planned on the first week in January.. but still have unfinished business, i figured id have my title loan paid off by now, thats all im waiting on… Im a Athiest i dont believe in a afterlife or some piece of shit in the clouds.. we Coexist, anyway i love taking my oxys and just waiting to get my loan paid off… which will be soon.. 😉 i do what i want, when i want and whatever i feel like doing.. nobody can stop us… not even a Fake so called thing (god) thanks for listening… […]
So, I won’t go into the reasons why or what the hell went wrong in my brain. I won’t sit here and say that I’m bipolar and it’s the chemical imbalances in my brains fault. I won’t sit here and say that everyone else had some sort of huge affect on me that I decided to do what I’m doing or had tried to do in the past but didn’t succeed, which was really just more along the lines of making myself suffer rather than putting an end to it. Again, I won’t explain why. Just like me, you all have your own problems. I […]
Smile and pick yourself up even if you’ve had enough.
Your problems don’t matter no one cares.
I swear if I died. they’d just be fine.
Never have I been told I was loved.
Never have I been told I mattered.
I’ve been thrown abused and battered.
I have scars and I have cuts.
I have strength but not enough.
I walk like a ghost among the alive.
I’m a fighter. Cause’ I survive.
I’ve never tried to escape.
But I have the rope.
I have the height.
I have the gun.
I have the blade.
I can’t be saved.
I’m dissapearing.
I am a shadow.
I was listening to this “urban” radio station in the morning and they were talking about cutting and how it is a white problem and how “only white people do it” Is this true? can anybody please let me know?Ive done a little research on the internet and i only come across pics of white people with cut arms (my apologies if i offended anybody and i am not a racist)
I feel that I am a waste of space, I don’t fit in with everyone else around me. I feel that I don’t deserve to be alive. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I’m sure nobody would notice that I’m gone.
I cant stop shaking as the thunder rolls on, i try to breath but i feel like my throats closing my eyes are on fire as i try to keep my self from crying as i count to 10.
My past races threw my mind and i try to fight the memories i hold my hands over my head “im sorry im sorry” i scream “no more no more” The kids in class are staring but i dont care anymore, im no longer in class . I’m in my brothers room, he presses his hands agaist my chest and kisses my face, i whimper begging him to stop. […]
I am living a lie…. My whole life is a lie. I have told my family that I have the first position in school which I had but then I lost it now I am third and could tell them , they still think I am first, I went on an annual olympiad but I failed that too. I am a failure, my family really hates me that’s the only reason I couldn’t tell them I lost my position… And everytime I remember these and everything else I cut.. But nowi realized that I have no more skin to cut….. I am a mess.. I […]
He told me he likes me, asks me out then writes a status saying “like if I have a chance with you” 30 seconds after I say yes to dating him.
I ask him to be in a relationship with me on facebook and he says no…
Then he rings me while he’s at a girls house and she’s putting makeup on him..
I told him I have trust issues and I have bad bipolar and he gets upset when I’m on the phone not being my “natural self”..
Hello Beau, you’re at another girls house right now, you won’t be in a relatonship […]