Okay, so let’s start from when i was 2 months old. My dad got arrested, and soon my mom broke up with him, so it was just me, my mom, and brother for 2 years. Then my mom married a man, i never knew about not having a daddy, i was young and happy. I always thought my step dad was my real biological father. Then my mom told me at the age of 9. That’s when i remember on my 5th birthday i got a birthday card, but i didn’t know who it was from..Now i know. At age of later 9, my mom […]
Please, please, please help me. PLEASE, HELP ME, PLEASE. I’m having an attack of paranoia and I am about to become insane. I need to sleep, haven’t slept in 2 days and Im so scared. I think someone is watching me, please don’t hurt me. I feel someone is coming for me, the death, don’t let me die, please dont let me die. Help me, please, help me. If a take a pill amoxicillin will be okey me? Help me,  can’t stand this shit s horrible. Some is scaring me, he’s watching, please don’t come for me, leave me alone. Please, please.  You’re hurting someone, PLEASE […]
Where do I start? I come rom that broken family that every child fears of having. dead beat dad who’s love I crave each day to have. what else; my grades. I have let my university dreams go down the drain i messed up, actually i gave up. I lost sight in what truly matter to me I let my guard down, i let society change me. Who is this girl that is substituting the old me? When will I finally get the strength to let the real me take back over this god awful life? I’ve hit rock bottom their is no light in […]
Hey eve here.  Well you see my close friend killed himself on 12/05/12. I never met him but we talked on the phone and kikked a lot. He helped me with my suicide problem  He  texted me saying what he was going to do. Just my luck to respond 30 min. Late.  I feel as if I could have saved his life in those thirty minutes. He meant so much to me . He was the first one to know about  my  cuts. He told me to rub that stuff that takes away scars so I don’t have to look at my past all […]
I have been, for a long time.
My reasons to die? well, let’s just say everyone makes me feel I’m useless and I don’t matter at all. I don’t feel that I’m important for them, even to my family – I don’t know if they even belong to that category. so… anyone can give me reasons not to?
MADD will give you statistics about drunken drivers and how they kill people every year, but in reality, sober drivers kill more than drunken drivers and MADD is NOT a non profit organization, but instead a cult of followers who make more than $140 Million a year because of all the alcohol classes it forces drunken drivers to attend… Â MADD has made it their life’s goal to punish ALL drunken drivers based on the actions of one; that one driver who killed some mother’s daugher also happened to have been drinking, which makes it an ISOLATED INCIDENT, yet her grudge and rage is felt […]
( this all happened to me. but I’m going to put it in story form. sorry if its not perfect. I am only 12. Sorry if there is inappropriate things in here that you.think a 12 yearold should.not be saying)It’s so cold outside. It’s about 30 degrees outside. I’m walking down the non crowded highway. I pass Gary’s the gas station and then the bank. I walk down anothera road and then stop. I just can’t move. I fall to.the ground. I black out. I wake up.about an hour later in a car. I’m being drove out.to the country. wth is going on. the car […]
Today, well it was a better day then yesterday.
I stayed home from school ‘cuz I woke up depressed. But, spending the day doing nothing didnt make me feel any better.
Im just as lonely and sad as I was yesterday. Since i didnt do anything I thought alot. And I realized my friends really dont like me. I mean in high school you dont really make that many new friends, you just drop a few old ones, and keep a few old ones..
And I realized I need a new friend.. So, anybody reading this (if anyone is still actually reading my boring post)
On one hand, I’m slowly dying inside because I’m losing my closest friend, and it feels like my fault.
On the other hand, I’m somehow still able to do research, even though I feel like the world is collapsing.
I don’t know if this means I’m learning to cope, or that god is readying a bigger turd to shit all over my life.
ive made many attempts and been hospitilaized many times and havent gotten better. i know i will succeed one day  but i still wonder what happens after you die, especially if you’ve ended it yourself. I’m a little worried. Not that I think I’ll go to hell because I believe everybody goes to heaven. Actually I think living on earth is hell, but I’ve read some accounts of near death experiences and some people have said they were waiting for what seemed like eternity. i don’t think this will stop me from doing it but I still wonder.
.. Have i ever thought i’d get to this point no.. im only 14 why am i here. What did i do to deserve this. I guess this is the time i’d share my story right? Exsplain it all get it out, wipe my slate clean. But im sure none of you care to hear my story. So if you dont stop reading, its not gonna be a happy one.
I was 3 when my mom kidnapped me, she abused me every day tried to kill me once out of jealousy, cause after i was born no one gave her attention anymore. Great mom right? after […]
So I’m so fed up with this. All of it! I’m a young teen living at home with mom. It’s just me and her right, house full of estrogen. Great. That’s not even the problem. We’ve been living this way for a few months now, the problem is my inconsiderate mother. I honestly believe she doesn’t care for me and her better interest is in herself. She treats me horribly. We have no communication and she constantly fights/argues with me for no apparent reason. I feel like I’m such a screw up. I try so hard to try and be a golden child that she […]
Not quite sure how to start this off, but my name is Kenny and lately i’ve been feeling really down and really blue. I feel like i’m getting to the point where I might snap and actually do something to myself. I’m ftm (Female to Male transgender) Which basically means I was born physically female but feel as if I’m a male trapped inside a females body. I have dealt with this feeling ever since I can remember but came across the word transgendered probably about 3 years ago from now. This is something I deal with every single day, not being called the right […]
my bf want to cut again… and then, he asked to me when i cut… a said, a 3 days ago… and, i break her heart… “why you don’t tell me?” i… don’t know… I am a shit.. a mess… i’m a *****.
Everything wrong with me:
– Mental.. been diagnosed with major depression.
– Currently in therapy for self-harm, and suicidal tendency.
– Terrible relationship with my mum.. my dad could also care less about me.
– Parents are divorced, i feel its because of me.
– Being haunted everyday with the memory of  abuse and rape.
– Always alone, i have no one to talk to.
– My friends drag me down into more problems then i already have.
– Drugs
– Been suspended three times.
– Cursed with poor decision and judgement making skills.
– Attempted suicide three times, each time i’ve been put in a mental hospital.
– More i do not want to state.
i posted […]
FUCK THIS
FUCK THAT
FUCK YOU
FUCK OFF
FUCK THE WORLD
FUCK MY LIFE
FUCK EVERYTHING
FUCK EVERYONE
i dont mean this sexually.. i mean this as in IM REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF.
I go into a classroom today to get something for another teacher. the classroom? The one holding my exboyfriend who i am still in love with, and his new girlfriend!! Everyone in that class KNOWS what has happened.. well they know enough that it’s nothing good. Everyone stared at me the entire time i was in there.. i was in there for almost 10 minutes.. i really just wanted to cry. but i cant show that to people! NO ONE at my school can know how weak i truely am… how pathedic i really am…
I told my mom and my dad, and neither one really […]
Everyday I’m not with you,
I die a little inside.
I will not die without you,
but it sure feels that way sometimes.
Your abscence is quite obvious somedays,
other days it’s just the little things.
Wanna know what gets me always?
Those little things.
Eyes like the sky,
clear blue with a tint of gold from the sun.
Lips that always ask why.
The times that we would just run.
Everyday I’m not with you,
I feel a little stronger.
I won’t die without you,
but I will live much longer.
Your overbearing ways,
keeping me from my friends.
Those Friday night that I had to stay;
Stay home and wait for you and your demands.
Demands that were only “requests”
Things of your “Preference”.
Requests […]
I cut myself
I insult myself
I tell myself, I am no good.
I pretend to be confident
I pretend to be happy
I pretend to be satisfied
I make myself, fake a smile
I cry myself to sleep
I beat myself up
I make myself angry
I just want to give up
I need someone to save me
My enemy is near
She wants me to end it
My enemy is fear.