I looked back on some of the things I had written and realized that they didn’t apply to the rules of this website.  So I deleted them.  Up to this point, this message doesn’t apply to the rules of this website, so I should delete it.  Until now.  I can not stop thinking about killing myself.  It’s everywhere I turn, everywhere I look.  Eating dinner…stab myself in the jugular with my steak knife.  Riding to work…just swerve in front of the oncoming traffic.  Going to sleep…maybe I should take all my sleeping pills.  I can’t get away from it.

for being suicidal….. for being different…. does that make me God’s reject

I am an 18 year old boy graduated from high school not too long ago. My first suicide attempt was after the first semester of Sophomore year. Drank half a bottle of rat poison because i was too chicken to hang myself. I never felt so alone as i did then. I was a ghost, my friends would talk to me but they didn’t care about me. They tried, but they never got me. The people who i loved the most my friends my family, it felt like i was nothing to them. Wen’t walking around everywhere with a hole in my heart wanting something […]

I’m so done wit life..I cut way worse and way deeper than I ever have tonight..I can’t live life anymore I’m so done..

How paranoid can one be? I just spent 15mins talking to a guy I thought stole my laptop in an effort to correctly identify him in a line-up. He didn’t steal it.

I forgot to take my water with me. Sigh now I think he poisoned it to get me to pass out for him to come steal it.

Feels like the world is against me today.

With courage and deliberation, I’ll go there. Into the jowels of that abyss. I just have to finish up my work here.

It seems as though things start out great then they just go down hill and I can’t seem to make things work. I know in my head that I’m not a bad person, but in my heart I feel like I’m the worst person in the world. Everything I touch just turns to shit and I’m tried of having everyone feel like they always have to be there to pick me up and I just keep falling. I feel like I’m bring them down with me and I just want them to be happy. Their lives would be so much better if I weren’t here […]

Got my iPhone 4s and my licsence.. yet today has been horrible. not horrible really… just a bad mood guess.. depressed, anxious, pissed, irratated… PMSing? sorry to gross anyone out.. but its the truth! UGHHHHHHH. just that kind of fucking fuckedy fuck fuck mood.

The thought “I don’t want to do this anymore” has been plaguing me. As is my nature, I googled it and this page came up in my search results. Mortified as I was thinking that Google has somehow gained access to my thoughts, I registered.

I am at this very awful space in my life. I have an anxiety disorder, a strange kind because it manifests itself as physical ailments. Because I am constantly sick and my doctors (yes, plural) cannot find a cause for it, I have been labeled a hypochondriac. I have a touch of OCD and when I was younger I was able […]

So I was released yesterday from an 11 day stay at the 3rd hospital.. The first time I went was October 3rd-26th. This past time was November 3rd-14th. At the first hospital they put me on Prozac, Zyprexa, and Welbutrin. Hasn’t helped even the slightest.. I’m ready to just drink a bottle of vodka and slit my wrists. For the sake of my family, someone please convince me not to…

I faced my biggest fear today…I thought it might of helped but it only made things so much worse and harder…but I guess I just had to..I don’t wanna be put through all this anymore I just give up…I want out

Black Rose and VacatedHappiness thank you for chatting. Hope i could help even a bit. Speaking to you guys helped me cope tonight.

Cheers

Everyday I walk around pretending i’m fine, I pretend my life is perfect, i’m nice to everyone (most of the time), I don’t take my anger out on random people. My parents absolutely suck yet i’m always respectful. (Maybe i’m just keeping too much to myself) I have cuts everywhere I have scars on my body and in my mind. Sometimes I just wish I could run away, never come back, start out fresh. Some people wish for marriage, I don’t … That just means I have to force myself to trust and to love someone. Which I wouldn’t be able to do because I trust no one…. I […]

When i was 6 years old i lived in a small town with my father his wife my brother and sister..one cold august night we went on a trip to the fair to see the derby..my daddy had a little to drink not even enough to intoxicate him. considering he drank all the time..so a little bit of beer wasnt gunna phase him at all..well after the derby it was time to go home..my dad and step mom amy had brought friends with them so she was guna take them home and me and my brother rode with my daddy in his truck..(thank god my […]

I think I can relate somewhat. You seem to be suffering and I’m sorry for that.
I don’t like what I see in the mirror either. I spend most of my free time thinking about my actions and reactions that I took the previous day. I feel like I’m so stupid, and I’m good at hiding it. I’m the best actor there is I think. On the outside I look normal and everything is fine, but inside everything is a constant struggle to just stay sane. I am so unhappy and I have no meaning in my life. I have a pretty fun job, some […]

I’m antisocial. Not a full-blown psychopath but 23 / 40 on the psychopathy scale. Not a nice place to be. Still able to feel guilt and remorse but unable to connect to anyone. There’s a black hole in me. Destroys everything I touch. Broken hearts, lost minds and so on. My tragedy is that i’d still like to be a good person. I’ve tried so hard over and over but I don’t know how. I’ve been in severe depression and/or drinking for the past two years. Managed to stay high-functioning though. Nobody can help me. And I’m all out of options.

I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago, and the day since my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been out for a year now because I called her a ***** because she was being one. That’s it…kicked out for over a year for saying “stop being a ***** for 2 minutes”. I moved in with my grandma (worst fucking decision I could ever make). Day after day of being out in the country away from my friends and family, it hasn’t been the same. I lost all of my friends, and since she’s 5 miles away its a hassel going to […]

Graduating high school today! I cannot wait to escape all the bullying and bitchiness that has been a part of my life for the past 5 years. When I cry at this ceremony, it will be because I can’t wait to get the hell out and start my life and live it the way I want to. Thank you to everyone on here for getting me through some dark times.

Ken that way when your head is all over the shope, your heart is beating like it’s goin out of fashion, your struggling to breath and all you can think about is topping yersel? apparently it’s a mix of anxiety and depression, accordin to my psychiatrist. It’s pretty damn difficult ta deal with and these pills are supposed to be helping, but do they fuck!

Anyway i found a way of dealing with it! I went to a bridge over a dual carriageway round fae my house and looked over the edge, had a few ciggies and thought about jumping. For some reason when i thought […]

well where do i start i feel like im nothing get pushed around by everyone…even the ones i called my “close friends”. I dont understand what i did to get treated like this. I mean they all walk over me like nothing knowing that i have severe depression since  i was eleven. The fact that i only know that the only person i can now count on is my boyfriend… Sadly hes to far to hold me when i cry. The fact that i cry my self to sleep every night wondering why im still here. It hurts getting treated like this i know im […]