We live in world were status and reaching the top of the social ladder means a lot to people, but the process of getting there makes me sick. The things people say to each other or about each other is disturbing and makes me hurt not only for the person it’s directed at but it brings back the painful memories of when those words were once directed at me.

We all have our stories and the shit that’s happened to us in our lives, but people don’t take the time to hear each others stories. It took me to come online and search for a place […]

You’re already living. You hate it but you ARE living. You are here and you have stayed. That is for sure. And nothing else, not a fucking thing besides the fact that at this moment you are breathing and wanting to die or just reading stuff and thinking how miserable your life is.

Trying to understand the complexities of your existence.

You take the trying to understand and the complexities away – what’s left? Existence. All there’s left is existence. Stop trying to understand something you’re not able to. You can’t fucking _know_ Anything about this world. Earth is a fucking ball hanging in the air in […]

Hi my names Cathy and im 14.
I want to just disappear from this earth. I dont want to kill myself. I don’t want to feel the pain … I just want to go away. I can’t hold it anymore. I have been abused by my father, i have been cyber bullied… what next?!?!? I dont want to lose my mum..or siblings. But at the same time i just want to go away. I want people to forget about me and let me leave. I dont want to do suicide. I would perfer to die more in a accident. Help. Im even scared of myself. […]

Really, I want to live. But I don’t see that happening.

I have a wonderful wife and family, but I’ve been unemployed for four years now and I can’t even get an interview. I’m on antidepressants but they’re not helping. And even if they lifted my mood, I’d still be a failure and a burden. I don’t want to take my life because I don’t want to set that example for my kids, but I also feel my life is a terrible model for them. And I’m too old to believe it’s going to get better. I’m not sorry for myself so much as I am […]

i was thinking of leaving for good, but then as i thought of it i had then realised people did care but may not have showed it as much as other people do. i have many reasons now on why i should stay; the two main reasons are my baby brother and my best friend/my everything and he is the guy i have known for a long time, who is now the guy im with.  i still get depresssed but i talk to my bf about everything anytime, doesnt matter if its the middle of the night and i woke him up, he stays up […]

Okay, so I’m sure alot of you are in the same boat as I am.

I’m pretty sure I have depression and anxiety, I don’t know what the symptons are because I’m just assuming that they’ve been with me for so long that I sorta got used to feeling like this. I feel like I’m about to cry even when I have no tears to shed. I feel like I’m never good enough for anyone and it’s killing me. and alot more but I’m not gonna divulge into them because I fear of breaking down and crying in class. yes. I’m on here in class.. pretty […]

this world is far too abrasive for me. absolutely everything hurts me and it’s just not worth fighting for.

i just don’t care at all.

i don’t see any fucking point

if i’m around for december 28th, it’ll be my exit day.

So, here I am, 5:30 in the morning. Still haven’t slept since waking up at 7 pm. I go outside for a cigarette. I finish smoking it. I’m on the phone with my friend, in the meanwhile. I’m about to go inside and some random guy walking by at 5:30 in the morning asks to use my phone. I go, okay. I tell my friend I’ll call him back, and let him use the phone. Then when he’s done, he wants me to wait for his friend calls back. I say, not too long, but okay. He offers me weed he has on him. He […]

To be me :

its takes  a razor

courage

throwing up

and hoping that one day ill recover

Hi, my names Cathy and im 14 years old. 😉
I was cyber bullied a year ago. Never thought it would ever happen to me. Since then i have very low steam on my self. I have very strong depression. I had looked at the world very different then. I would be one of those people who would mind their own business and just be happy for who they are. But.. I don’t think i will ever return to being that girl. One of the reason to this are because…. the bully goes to my school. ;L I see her everyday, she is in my […]

i talked to my mom about my depression and problems. after a long day of low i feel a lot better now. i was gonna confront my friends and the rest of my family but im not sure if i should. what if im just doing this for attention? what if its not as big of a deal as i thought it was? i had a nervous breakdown in school yesterday. that means something right? im not going crazy am i? is what im doing right? sorry for all the questions, im just not sure what im doing anymore but im afraid i have to […]

physically, i have parents, family and friends. mentally and emotionally, i have nobody.

with every passing day its like I find another reason to want to kill myself. I’m just so over it. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, everyone thinks I’m on drugs because I’ve been acting up lately, but they don’t know… they don’t know that I cry myself to sleep every night, they don’t know I spend every second of my free time daydreaming, exploring, plotting. I just lay here in my bed, and think. why does death feel so distant, when I’m so close to the edge. why do I have to […]

Looks like the whole world is going mad, and all problems are popping up simultaneously.

Is there something special about 2012?

cancer, you have finally won as this is my goodbyes to all you wounderful people on sp. i have written notes to my family saying goodbye and now all is left is to the people of sp. thankyou for trying to help but its my time to go im sorry. all i can say is that cancer wins this fight it wins my life.

is there anybody that needs help before i die? i would really like to help someone, as please coment if you do, it may make my life last a little longer.

dont be sad ba happy you deserve it i will always care […]

It’s sad, really. I hate that people have to feel this way, especially at such young ages. I’m sorry. I really I am. And there really isn’t shit I can do for anyone accept say that I truly feel you. The problem with pain is that there is no magic gauge. My wonderful mother dying might affect me the same way getting an F on final paper might affect anyone else. We can’t know. And we can’t judge. I know what it is to hurt, and I’m sorry that other people have to feel the way I do, or worse than I do, most of […]

hi…… i do not want to say my name!!! i am a girl and i am 20years old….. i was married in may 2011. it was love and arranged. when we were in love he showed me soooo much love and he said he would do any thing for my love and he said would die for me. if we fought, he used to say sorry even if it was my mistake. he liked my smile, he dont let me cry for any reason. he used to get me chocolate when ever he met me. i can just say that he manipulated me. when we […]

I feel so useless all the time. I really can’t do anything right. Or anything at all. I see everyone I know has a talent,or are at least smart in a way. But me? No. I can’t dance like everyone else,I have no rhythm. I can’t sing. I have a deep voice for a girl. I’m no good with school work anymore. I get distracted easily now. It’s so irritating. I never want to wake up in the mornings because I feel like there’s no need. Nothing’s going to change. I really want to kill myself. Like seriously. I get so frustrated sometimes and nothing […]

Hi, I have attempted suicide a few times. Its almost the one year anniversary of the time I was sent to the hospital because of it. It makes me kinda sad to think about it cause it was a rough time for me. I wish I could say Im doing better but im not. Im really unhappy. I just wanna cry all the time. I feel so alone. Im homeschooled. The only friends I have are the ones I make online, but its not the same. I guess im just using this to release my feelings. I really am so unhappy. I put on a fake […]

Okay so I’ve had some alcohol. I was thinking of taking 20 pills and seeing if I feel sick. If I did start to… then I would take more in order to complete the process. I would like others opinions on whether I would feel sick or not. Idk what else to do. I know I’m going to attempt sooner or later. Why the hell not get it over and done with now?

I just got bored and thought i’d write this boring, meaningless post.

Let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Anastasia or Anna for short. I’m a 14 year old girl without any good to be living. I live in Australia with my fantastic family and freinds. I like jazz, indie and rock music. Even though i hate Ed Sheeran, my favourite song is The A Team because it’s a sad song and has true meaning, it’s not about sex or love or any other crap that could never happen to me. My favourite animals are bears. I love painting and drawing and am […]