I just don’t even care any more. everything stays the same. I wake up unhappy and hating myself. Then i look at all the cuts and scars on my body and just think to myself ” you deserve this”. Then for the rest of the day i put a fake smile on my face. I walk to my bus stop just like other kids do. I get to school and wait for first period to start. During the day i get called names and people stare at me and some people just act like im not even there. My first class is choir. It’s the […]
I had a day. A date. It was planned. I knew how I was going to do it. I didn’t care. did never knew it was possible to feel so dead and empty and feel so much pain all at once. I didn’t know how much a few simple words could hurt. I didn’t know how good cutting felt. I just didn’t know. I don’t know how I got here, to this position. I look down and see the cold blade slide across my wrist.
I had a day. I didn’t care. I was hurting. Nothing else mattered. I needed a way out.
Then, I got a […]
I wear a smile well, it’s my best accessory
I do it because I know it’s necessary
Behind the smile it’s revealed I’m dying inside
And it’s amazing the world buys all the lies.
Nobody will ever know
That the pain doesn’t let me go
It will haunt me until the day I die
I don’t want my tears to stain the world outside.
Trapped in a world I’m not good enough for
What am I still doing here?
Only in death will I find some of bliss
I know that I won’t be missed.
Rumors are such a terrible thing. Wether its something that is a result of Chinese whispers, or wether it’s done intentionally, I don’t know. Now i’m not someone who is bothered by rumors, because most of the time they’re things that have not even a single brush of truth and they actually are quite humoros when it comes to the stupidity.
But this last rumor really got me.
The rumor going round (at the only boys school which my boyfriend attends – I think boys are more gossipy than girls!) was that I only go out with my boyfriend because I wanted a boyfriend, not because I […]
I’m not one of those girls who get depressed by a boy dumping them. I’m one of those people who have very low self esteem, hates their mom, and friends who don’t understand/ ignore the problem. I am only 15 and I am having a lot of problems with myself, nobody knows (well now you do) but in my life just two of my friends one, Rebecca but it seems like she doesn’t really care or just ignores it, and my friend who lives in florida i met him in the internet he actually seems like he cares (i think) hes been really nice to […]
Last year at this time I was high on life ad thought nothing could go worn(I wasn’t ACtually high just like happy high) and now this year I’m so close to sucide and it sucks. I can feel myself being dragged I to a hole I want to escape but I know I have to go into this dark tunnel. I want to give up dance I loved being called a good dance but with that Ryle every one expects u to be a amazing or they want to bet you or your friends don’t talk to you anymore because they think your being snotty […]
I have an overwelming desire to end it all I have a two hour window oftime to plan how Ireally dont know what to Itryed many times before I’m a failiar
Take my heart, i dont want it anymore.
Im so hurt that i cant even write…
This website has been so beneficial for me these past several months. About 6 months ago i was on Google looking for things such as “why should i not kill myself? There is no one that is going through what i’m going through.” Finally, I stumbled onto this website. After reading several articles, I figured out that I am not alone with the pain and loneliness. Last year at school was so hard for me. My best friend for a long time asked a girl out and she said yes. He barely knew her, only for that year. I was thinking that when i did […]
I’m going to start off by saying that my life itself isn’t horrible. I was not molested as a child, my parents don’t hit me. From a distance, it must look pretty great. Which is why it makes it so incredibly difficult to make it through the day.
No, my parents may not hit me, but they’re never here and it hurts. People called me a spoiled ***** and get mad when I complain about no one ever being home, because my life is ‘perfect’, right? I would trade all of my useless, meaningless shit to have my parents be home one night when I fall […]
Um hey everyone my name is Bri I’m 14. I’ve been through some things We all have I guess this is why we are on this website. I’m not the prettiest or the skinniest girl out their I know that… Getting made fun of every day at school you know really gets to you. Getting pushed in to lockers and people bumping into you on purpose. Or having some one call you out in front of everybody getting called names like ugly, fat, loser, stupid, spit, Mexican, border jumper, immigrant, ect. It really got to me I remember the first time I cut I was […]
Once again, a long stream of depression has hit. Went to sleep crying last night, and woke up crying.
So I cut. It’s almost been a month, and my parents finally are letting me sleep in my room since the last time that they saw my cuts.
I decided my wrists and hands made things too obvious. So I would go on my thighs. That small area that is hidden by the sides of a bikini bottom. I lost my glass that I use to cut, so I used a needle, which doesn’t really cut. It just takes off a later of skin 🙁 I heard my […]
well it has been a long time since I didn’t write… And thanks to that and all the stress of school I realised my unimportance. Everyday that passes keeps making me just want to die. They can’t notice. Obviously they can’t I seem  to be so much better. They think I have overcome DSH and ED, but I haven’t. I just feel alone, hopeless, without someone to count on. Literally I just want to finish everything. This week has been the hardest, since my last day of school I can’t stop remembering everything, I went through with him**Long story, if you want to know ask** I wish everything was as it used to be a year ago, it just […]
Hi, im new here, i dont know exactly what to do, but ill tell my story. Im 16 years old and currently been in america for 7 years. For 9 years i lived in spain with my biological father.He was an alcoholic, went out every night and got drunk. He abused me, my mum and my brother every night when he came home. Â When i was about 6, both of my parents were at work, and my nanny was asleep. My brother sexually abused me. I thought it was a game,and he made me promise not to tell anyone. I kept it. and i forgave […]
I’ve never been on any type of website like this.. i just kind of needed some people to talk to that actually can relate and understand how i feel. I thought I was moving forward.. i really did… I tried to commit suicide about 2months ago and it honestly scared the hell out of me.. After that night of almost having my stomach pumped i knew i had to get better…. but now.. I am starting to feel the same as before I committed suicide.. i have the urge to cut the hell out of my wrists and I’m always holding back tears.. i feel […]
It’s sad when the people who are suppose to love you are the ones that hurt you the most. I try and confide my feelings to them and I’m left feeling worse than I originally did. Thanks Mom for ignoring who I am and pretending my problem doesn’t exist. Thanks Dad for dismissing my feelings and treating me as your verbal punching bag. Thanks sister for being a constant reminder of what I missed out on.
so last night i had a terrible night my anxiety kicked in and i could do nothing but cry. my bf was being a bit of an ass and my mother had nothing better else to do but yell at me. its been 3 days since i last ate and i can already feel myself wasting away. i looked in the mirror last night hoping to see a better me then what i was. i saw the same old self. i just cried. feeling so fat and ugly i tried to throw up anything that was left in my system. it was 3 in the […]
I tried to speak out today, but you how things never really go as planned. They didn’t understand what I was trying to say and just brushed it off. I felt so small and so sick to my stomach. I went home and I did it again even though I was trying not to anymore. I hurt myself again. I hadn’t done it in awhile so I had forgotten how it felt, but I couldn’t stop myself. My hand is trembling as I write this and I’m just trying to hold myself together as much as I can. But I can’t anymore, I’m just so tired of […]
It seems like everyday I try to escape these thoughts of leaving this world. It seems like a hellish struggle to even make it through the day. I just want to be happy but thats now a forgotten cause. The real problem is here now and I can’t seem to shake it out. I can’t sleep because if the reoccurrence of these thoughts. If my mind doesn’t get a break I might have to give it a permanent one. I’m left wondering if these little pink pills are worth it. I’m left wondering all the time. Left trapped in my own thoughts. In my own […]
Hello Suicide Project and all its users!
I am here today to confirm my plans. (My typing always seems bright and happy but think of the psychotic clown who decapitates victims with a huge grin and heaps of laughter)
So, nearer to the end of the year I am going to utilize the exit bag method. From the research i have done, I found out it is the most painless and peaceful way to go. Which is awesome. But I need more ideas(suicide creativity) to seal the deal. I’m not asking you guys for ideas. Thats against the sites rules and what-not.
Anyways here is my plan: