My first message was to be “to anyone who loved me, I am sorry” but that does little to explain my thoughts, and those who love me deserve at least a glimpse.

I can’t imagine a better summer then the one that just passed.  Europe was quite lovely, I wish I could move there.  I smoked, I loved, I laughed. But summer is over and every year the winter seems worse than the previous one. I thought things were turning around, but autumn starts and I’m already falling again.

To Jill- I hope you don’t feel any guilt for this is not your fault.  I have only […]

They take away my books my jounals saying, “They’re what make you fail” All I want to do is yell the truth. You are what’s making me fail your the cause of my fucking suffering. YOU ruin everything, you make me die. But I stay silent. I always stay silent. Never say no, they always say. You dont know how much I’ve cried, cut, and starved myself, I’m dying and I know it, but I don’t want to stop, I want to die. Maybe I need to bleed out instead let it be faster. Let me die in peace and not your horrid screaming.

I try to smile, and say I’m fine. It’s ust getting harder to do. I’m cutting more then offen, and I’m cutting deeper. The blood gushes out and I feel better but only for a hour or two. Maybe I should just die, just let me bleed to death. I’m sick of being that perfect girl but I can’t seem to let go. I want to but I can’t. I need all the prizes, trips, awards, and fake love. It’s what’s killing me and keeping me alive.

I just really don’t know what to do.

I tried to kill myself about three weeks ago. Every day I think about what happened, and most of the time I wish I had succeeded.

I feel utterly alone.

I feel cold blue in the face.

I am hurt I need to leave this place.

Go to place with green hills and a bright orange sun.

Screaming heat fun for everyone.

Times not an issue night never comes.

Day always around me sun is there.

People if I need them they are there.

If I want to be alone I will.

I’ll just hide in a cave on my green grassy hill.

The ocean that surrounds my world is deep and spirits high.

Rough and stormy around me is a dark sky.

Clouds are coming rain brings pain.

My dream is ending this writers to blame.

Its ending in darkness my hill is gone.

Swimming on water with no land to go.

I’m […]

talked it over and decided it was a good idea to get some outside help for a few days.  I’ll probably be off the grid. maybe it will help…maybe at least get some sleep.

The scar as dark as a bruise, been burnt so deep to the skin.

Left is a mark forever, to haunt is a feeling within.

This memory with sudden pain is this scar that I can not hide.

All that I can remember is being alone with no one by my side.

So this scar seeks its own attention people see its not my fault they care.

But this scar is a burden forever because forever it will always be there.

But the scar does remind me of this no matter where I may be.

This scar is Bold […]

Hello. I am 15 years old boy, already depressed from life.
I am sad person.I dont have any friends… I had one but he betrayed me in the most cruel and obnoxious way..My parents are poor and so is my life. I tried to make friends but I couldnt, all of them felt my sadness and rejected me….. Should I suicide?
How should I do it? reply please..

Me and my friend gabby have decided today that we are going to kill ourselves. We dont know when but we both are going to go together. We just feel that no one cares enough and that no once would mind if we were gone. My boyfriend would but i barely see him anymore and being away from him is killing me but just incase someone reads this after i die.. he is not the reason for my final act. if anything he kept moving the date farther and farther forward. I just feel like i cant see a future with me in it. almost […]

I unambivalently want to die. I’m 32. I’m getting married in five days. I have been diagnosed with a mood disorder as well as a personality disorder. I have sacrificed so many things on the altar of mental illness: serious relationships, a career, contact with family, financial stability, dignity. Few people know how horrible I feel most of the time. I work in the mental health field & should take better care of myself. I don’t take any meds or do many of the things that I could do to help myself feel better. Sometimes I think that I’ve become so inured to the pain associated […]

i am alone. All my friends dont understand why i come in to school everyday with a new scar, or always hide my arms. my dad saw one and said “Come on now, your nearly 17. dont be starting “that shit” “.

that shit? that shit ruins my life, it hurts, and i like it when it hurts. im punishing the outside for what its doing to the inside. but you know what, go fuck yourself. be happy with your comfortable life and ill float through mines wishing every day that it was my very fucking last. im tired of being here, im tired of being […]

I dont cut. thinking about it. I dont do any self-harm. i think about it. a lot. I only attempted suicide once. I took a whole pill bottle of idk what. but i failed and just got super sick. i felt like dying. wish i did. Let me go.

I messed up so many times with the same damn people. They once cared for me. I ruined their love and care for me. I hurt them, let alone, myself. I lost what i had. I dont deserve anybody in my life, therefore i should be alone. I hide EVERYTHING behind a joke and i’ve been considering that I AM A JOKE. I already been told that i should “die already!” by my own sister. She hates me because i joke too much. I hate how i am. I am untalented, hopeless, useless, unsmart, and worthless. I am NO advantage to anyone, not even my family. […]

here i am. holding scissors. i have just gone through my pencil case for the 2nd time looking for something sharper to cut with. what’s wrong with me? i wasn’t like this a week ago.

Hey. I’m the Knight of Flowers. I’m Hungarian, 23 years old and have a great job which comes with superb salary. My problem is I can’t stop thinking about who I was: a f’in poor guy who worked for anybody just to earn the money to pay the rent, buy some food. Now I’m rich but I don’t want to be successful because there are people starving or get killed for no reason. Wait, there is a reason: human’s cruelty. We live in a world where most people are evil, only act when their action results in benefits. You can be lucky, have a great […]

Just read an article about this guy daveonwheels. David Rose. Very inspirational.

Today I felt so alone
No one around to call my own
I weep I plead I cry I bleed
All I want is someone to love
Someone to hold me
Someone to trust

But it’s okay I’m used to the feeling
The life I hold I can feel it ending
I cut all night and just can’t sleep
That last cut comes down way to deep
The scarlet blood trickles down and hits the floor
It keeps coming more and more

This time I failed once again
I lost my hope I lost my plan
My plan to leave this hatred place
This dream of mine […]

Im fighting a losing battle.. And im tired of fighting 🙁

Everyone lied to me…A girl lied that she is different … A man lied that my condition will get better…A adult lied that she wanted me…A friend lied that she needs me…Stop it…Shut the fuck up! You people thinks that I don’t know? I am smarter than you thought I am… Your lies are too obvious for me now…I can’t believe that I used to trust you…I can’t believe that I was such a fool…But I don’t have to care anymore ….I used to be a kind person…But my 2nd personality is gaining control ….That dangerous 2nd personality ….He’s gonna kill you all…Or I will […]

So we are all on here for a reason right? Right. Either we are thinking of suicide or know some one who offed themselves. Or those random oh so kind hearted strangers who just want to help those of us who feel alone (how nice)..not. Im here because every day i want to die. I want to fell the way it feels to take a last breath. I want to look death in the eye and greet him with a smile. I need more time to build up the courage to pull the trigger. When the bullet and my temple finally meet as forbiden lovers.