MY BIRTHDAY IS OCT. 12 I HONESTLY THINK NO ONE CARES FOR IT. ITS BEEN ANOTHER YEAR OF THIS SHITHOLE I CALL LIFE. I WANT TO BE DONE. I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL TO BE BORN AND TO DIE ON THE SAME DAY. TRUST ME I EVEN JOKED ABOUT IT. IF MY EX-BEST FRIEND, WHO I REALLY CARE ABOUT, SPEAKS TO ME BY MY BIRTHDAY I WILL CONSIDER NOT DOING SUICIDE BUT ITS HOPEFUL WISHES. FINGERS CROSSED.
Sam-101212
I hate crying. Hate it to my core. When i cry, its usually silent sobs and gushing tears. I dont ever get a chance to cry out loud. If i do, then people would want to know why. I cant speak when i cry. I have no words just thoughts when i cry. They look at me like, “she’s phsycoticly disturbed” I agree in my head. RIGHT NOW I NEED TO CRY. JUST CRY MY EYES OUT. WHEN SOMEONE SEES I AM IN PAIN I TEND TO HIDE IT WITH A REALLY LAME EXCUSE LIKE I HAVE REALLY BAD TOOTHACHE OR I WATCHED TITANIC. I […]
I ruined everthing i had with my best friend since kindergarten. Just a week ago, we giggled, laughed out loud, joked, had lunch together, gave advice, told secrets, and talked about boys. I ruined it all through a stupid social site, I am stupid. I told her that i felt like a “back up friend” It’s a little true. but she is complicated. I thought we were going strong but turns out we were hanging by a piece of thread. If its that easy to lose someone, i chose not to get close to another person. I hate myself for it. The saddest thing is that she […]
I came back from a place where a couple close people in my life cared and wanted me and i go home to hell. I am in my room thinking about how bad a person i am. Outside my room, i hear yelling, crying, and things being thrown. I’m scared. I hate this. I just heard my mom say something about divorce. My parents dont want us kids. We are hopeless and trouble makers to them. they say it soo much i start to believe. I want to show them up and show them that they are wrong beyond belief BUT then again i let […]
I dont cut. thinking about it. I dont do any self-harm. i think about it. a lot. I only attempted suicide once. I took a whole pill bottle of idk what. but i failed and just got super sick. i felt like dying. wish i did. Let me go.
I messed up so many times with the same damn people. They once cared for me. I ruined their love and care for me. I hurt them, let alone, myself. I lost what i had. I dont deserve anybody in my life, therefore i should be alone. I hide EVERYTHING behind a joke and i’ve been considering that I AM A JOKE. I already been told that i should “die already!” by my own sister. She hates me because i joke too much. I hate how i am. I am untalented, hopeless, useless, unsmart, and worthless. I am NO advantage to anyone, not even my family. […]