I’ve felt this way before…a few times.  maybe more than a few.  sobbing uncontrollably with no tears to show for it.  or tears streaming profusely with a face as calm as death.  my insides are heavy and hurt. my feelings raw and burn.  it will take as long as it takes, i am just so sick of enduring it.  it could take weeks, i wish I wasn’t alone in this room.
anyone needs to talk? i’m here 🙂
and if you’re hesitant, thinking you don’t want to burden me, then trust me, it helps me too. it gives me something to think about.
There comes those points in your life where you just want to walk away from it all. When you feel like you’re nothing, like you have nothing, like you are worthless, when you have no one. You just want nothing to do with anyone, or anything. You just want to leave it all. You want to go away to where you can be perfect and no one will judge you. There’s times you want to just take everything back, every mistake you’ve made, you just want to take it all back. Yeah, we are humans, we make mistakes. But there’s those mistakes you know you […]
I’m lost. What do I do now?
I am scared.
I’m lost.
I never knew it would get this hard.
When you get that evil person who is out to get you.
And destroy’s your happiness.
Every ounce of happiness I had. Was lost.
Now I’m lost.
I’m in a dark room.
I can’t find the light.
I can’t escape it.
Wouldn’t someone like to help me..
Mom?
Dad?
Grandma?
Family?
Best friends?
How can they help me?
I’m not willing to let anyone in.
I can’t let anyone in.
All people are good for now, is judging me, hurting me, leaving me.. and putting me down.
It’s like I’m a worthless piece of trash.
I see the blood running.
I don’t even flinch at the pain.
The pain […]
I don’t know what to do, this year is the worst thing to ever happen to me. My so called bestmates turned on me. I’m over feeling like I’m not good enough for anything anymore. it’s like I get happy and somes like shes happy lets ruin it!
I haven’t posted in awile as i don’t like bothering people about my proplems but if I could get any advis i would greatly aperachate it.My “down fall” of this year and my recent mental breakdowns have made me result to an almost errrie feeling i used to have when thouse thoughts enter your head.You know the one’s that weigh you down and the one’s they clame antidepressents can help with but even i myself amit i’am no role moddle for having a 215 medical marajuanna for my depression and isomia.
I guess i’ll start with October 27th of last year becouse that’s when I first […]
Special thanks to those who showed such an unselfish interest in me, Jael85, s2419, and mimito.  Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories and feelings.  Making those connections with my own life gave me a footing to sort out my next step without taking my long vacation to nowhere.  I’ve backed away from the edge enough to take a breath.  We’ll see.
Evolution all the way!
Nothing and Nobody tells me what the hell im gonna do with MY body,, yea..MINE
by Atlanta27
by Atlanta27
I will and always do what I want, how i want, when i want and where i want… and i will never change.. 😉 so these sperits around me need to relize that i will never change… so they can fuck off 😉
Back again.. so i still have my plan..inching closer by the second, I dont plan on seeing 2013..anyway.. for all who know me, I am and have been having a sex spree.. and frankly dont give a fuck if i catch HIV… abyway..plan is sex,sex and more sex then im going to attempt for the 5th time to die… dame a month left to go… seems so far away but so close too..
Dear Frnds.,
for wat sake we are living i dont know somebody they have their own suggestions to die but some body will not tell wat is the problem in his life dats y  they will not tel they are commiting sucide . friends let me know one thing about the real life suspecting the depression to die some dody has to die. example take my life only i sincerly and very mostly loved one in this world i swear that my gf was did like this she was  getting far day by day i loved her a lot since past  4 years but she went […]
So it’s been 5 days since I last posted on here. Ever since I wrote on here I’ve been thinking about suicide constantly. Last night I went and drove around, just to think. I ended up parking by a bridge in the middle of no where and thinking for hours. Its really comforting the more I’ve thought about it. I’ve gone as far as making my plan and writing my notes. 5 more days, just 5 more. Life is too damn depressing and repetitive.
So its been a bit over a year since i have written on this website. The last time i wrote here, I wanted my life to end. I wanted  to slit my throat and drain all the blood from my body. My father had just died, my family was broken and my relationship was abusive and horrible. I had been raped and beaten by almost every guy who came into my life and i couldn’t take it. The feeling of being a man’s sex toy. I felt myself losing all hope and sinking deeper into darkness.
But today, 10/9/12
I am now a college student working twords my dream […]
I don’t want to sink in this ocean called life.
When I think About You
When I think about you
I wonder if you feel whispers biting at your ear
Attempting to notify your heart
Do you hear
That you are the pinnacle of a little boy’s thoughts?
I fear
Every time my memory drops an ice cube down my back
Kissing each vertebrae cold
That you are thinking about me in a shade too close to black
Because in my thoughts exhausted by you
I only concoct colors of yellow and blue
I wonder if your mind paints pictures of me
The same ones I draw of our fingers wrapping warmly
Do you […]
im thinking about taking every single pill in this house at once and cut my wrists
i need help…i need to be locked up away from everything and everyone, but i have no insurance and no money…part of the reason im ready to go through with this…please, someone tell me theres something i can do…i am gonna do this
I have been cut free for a year as of last week. I have never known any cutters other than myself, but that maybe because I never told anyone . No why would they expect that the laughing funny guy is just a mask to hide my rotting face behind.Even though its nearly killed me several times I still want to cut. When I cut I pretend I was a surgeon and I was just performing an operation, nothing was solved but nothing mattered.Does this ever go away? Its funny, such a little piece of metal can control me so easily.I cut  off one eyebrow […]
I am clinically depressed. It’s official, really. I think the easy way out is what I’m doing now, typing into the internet instead of just leaving a horrible memory for my wife and family’s already miserable lives. I want to die now, but the consequences of that is why I’m in such turmoil… I’m already employed, but it’s just slavery because I’m working to stay in debt – there’s no savings. Right now, my furnace isn’t working, and it’s cold. The basics won’t get it started, so I have to call in a pro. I cannot slave enough to pay for this. I know it’s not my […]
hopeless
i am shocked at this ability to type
i feel completely lifeless
how could i possibly move when i am so horribly heavy,
too heavy to budge
i wish i could turn into a wall so i could observe the world and never move or speak and nothing much would be expected of me.
i can keep secrets and be painted to look pretty, and i’ll hold your pictures and shelves,
if only you leave me be
i need company tonight
know that feeling when you take a deep breath and realize you hadn’t been breathing for a little while?
my chest gets tight and my entire body tenses, and i don’t realize it until i relax, but not tonight.
tonight i’ve got an incredible song on, looking out on my beautiful city, just spent some time with my best friend, and still can’t breathe deep enough to feel okay.
i’m just so deep down cold kind of sad and scared and it’s so impossible to shake tonight.