When people are so against people being on medication or think it is unnatural and the ones who take pills are fucked up and can’t deal with their own problems and just want to feel good.  I feel very hurt . Some pill bottles are filled with drugs so you can stop wanting to die all of the time. Some pill bottles are filled with drugs that help you fall asleep at night Some of those pill bottles are used to help you . And yes it sucks that people can’t have fun anymore and i understand , but sometimes it is the only thing you have […]
One of my favourite songs as a kid to present is Rudolph’s Misfit song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwlOUAAyPQE
I’m tired of putting on a fake smile, I want someone to talk to…
Someone who wouldn’t judge me…
every time i try to leave….the world wont let me…it pulls me back here..so god damn fucking annoying…world? LET ME OUT. please!
Having more thoughts about my suicide and how much i want to do it… i hate this cycle i can’t wait to find a way out of it and right now there only seems to be one way…
I have been reading here so I will explain why I want to go now. Â About a year and a half ago my wife had her job transferred to another city. Â As we own a condo and the market was very bad we could not sell. Â So we lived separate for a while. Â As my job was eliminated in May I thought it would now be a good time to go and be with my wife. Â However something changed. Â She hardly speaks to me and just last week said she wants a divorce. Â This was such a shock as I thought we were so […]
Part 1 can be read by clicking my name and selecting part one. Summary wise part one was an account of early life into middle school. Who I was and how I was and what I went through and how I held up hope. This part two will be the same but from high school.
In 8th grade things were nearly on the line. I was by this time seeing a paid therapist who seemed like she was listening but she wasn’t And when I reached 10th grade her doctor friend (who was a beauty) who gave me zoloft and kept a careful eye on me […]
So my 20th birthday was a few days ago and things looked like they were starting to get better. Wasn’t feeling depressed, as much, and looking forward to a new college course which starts on the 27th of August. Also got back into football (soccer) and even got invited to join a couple of teams after impressing in a game. Well, I played in a game tonight and I was awful! Got beat 3-1 and all 3 goals were my fault. I’m a goalkeeper by the way. Doubt I’ll get asked back. Birthday night out was rubbish aswell! Basically people used it as an excuse […]
I recently found out that I will no longer be eligible for financial aid very soon. It doesn’t matter that I got straight A’s last semester; it is because of how many credit hours I have attempted without getting a major, apparently. I changed my major a few times and had a few rough semesters, and now that I am truly passionate about my work they are going to cut me off. Funny, huh? So as of today it seems as well as having no friends, no life, and no money, I have no future. I will never finish college. And I am doubtful I […]
I finally feel okay. For once in my life I don’t feel like the world is against me. I don’t feel happy as such but I am okay. Will this last? Or is it just today? Does this mean I could be getting better from my depression?
I know most of you feel that you can’t make a difference in the world. We all feel that way from time to time.  One thing we do all have is the freedom to do many of the things we want and need to do. Some are not so fortunate and I am asking a favor of all of you who read this to sign a petition to demand the state of California to release a man from prison that has been found “not guilty†of his crime. He’s already served 12 YEARS for something he is innocent of, yet still remains in custody.
http://www.change.org/petitions/release-daniel-larsen-ruled-innocent?utm_source=action_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=9605&alert_id=yilDLHVfTF_bKpfSgFvKX
http://www.youtube.com/watch?vj=6_5D4y6xoo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I’ve had the best life before, everything i ever wanted, was so good, A loving man, New car, New condo, Great job and people who love me, But that changed so really my time is done here, I just waiting for the right moment and the right way to go, Damn this feels so good! Anyway, my ex could be coming back to my lofe, we we together 4 years, hes so amazing, but i live in Ga now and hes in FL. So anyway, my point is, yes weve all been through rough times, and sometimes is not worth going on living, but you […]
last night i lost two of my patiens.. One girl jumped from 8th floor, another jumped from 9th floor. Well, i’m saying i lost both of them because first one doesnt has so many hopes to survive. Just 1 floor different and it’s that thin line from death. First one survived.. We took her from ground with all bones broken, all organs exploded, but… alive. As far as i know she’s in neurosurgeons hands. Second one lost job.. and didnt find new one.. so 9th floor – totally dead. One floor – one sure.
All im saying, what if those people could be taken for example […]
So I had a meeting with the mental health team in June 2011 then a meeting with the Head Shrink in December 2011 the next? August 2012 which was postponed still waiting! Do they really care? Of course not what a waste of space they are how about doing it in front of their office? That would be good then they could have a seriuos case review and learn the lessons from my case!!
A genuine request anyone especially in the UK that I can talk to? It would be nice to talk to someone who has been there who understands, what is real? Good or bad I am really struggling to understand. Time to finish or struggle on and why? The negs I get at home even the weather is my fault! Nothing but nothing that I do will ever be good enough so why bother?
I hate being so close to leaving all of my pain behind and then randomly backing out of it… i wish i could stop being such a chicken…
when I’m really considering doing it (off depression this time),
people I haven’t talked to in months randomly PM me (they don’t know I think of suicide) or I’ll meet people I haven’t seen in months/years on the streets
maybe we’re all connected after all .. too bad it no longer means much to me
I’m starting to believe that if I go through with it, it will actually work .. free as a fucking bird
no more room for doubt .. I gotta clear my mind of beliefs that would compromise self-imposed deliverance
Things have reached a climax today, its 20:50 in London. I know for sure I don’t have the resources to pull things back. If anyone realise how bad I am they will have me sectioned and I would rather die than be sectioned again. So midnight tonight I end it