im sorry for all the mean things ive  said on here if you want to know the full story its on. i want to but i just cant.
i had the best night out. no drinking involved but after working for weeks without much of a break i was so happy to just get on the dance floor and just go with the music. it was so relaxing. not caring what anyone thought just going with it. i just closed my eyes and felt the music. one of the best nights of my life.
Hey. I did it. I survived till Florida. Thanks for all your help guys. Of course I’ll still stick around the site sometimes. My mom hasn’t noticed my scars yet but I think I’ve figurd out how I’m gonna handle it. Strangely, I’ve only been here a day and a half but all anxiety and panic attacks, stress, pain, it’s all completely dissapeared. God I’m so happy to be home. At the same time I kinda miss being miserable :/ But again, Thank you for helping me to get here alive.
i just want to get out! i need to escape….
i’ve never before seen this place as a prison, it used to just be my home.
but the last few months have taken it all out of me. i cant do it.
i just need to leave, loose contact, recover from the mind fucking these people have put me through… but i have got not one place to go.
im so lost in the dark!
If I wasn’t already having a bad day.
Damn those stupid door knocking god thumping freaks.
You know nothing about me so who are you to call me a damn sinner and NO i don’t want you to leave me a bible and NO I don’t want you coming back next week to teach me to love a god that don’t bloody exist
oh how i want to go down 6 feet and be free
ill be away from this world and the hurt its caused me
so its selted, ill force a bullet right into my heart
ill end all the pain from the place it had to start
ill be in bliss and euporia and maybe feel okay
“i was too weak to go on”, ill make sure my note will say
im sorry for the confusion, you raised me right mom
it was me who chose to do this, so please try to stay calm
i know this is hard for you, seeing me in crimson
but one day youll realize that this was […]
I dont know where to start.  I’ve been trying to deal with my depression for a long time now and no matter what i just cant be happy.  There are a lot of things that have happened to me and my family in the last few years that contribute to my depression.  Suicide is always something that crosses my mind everyday.  And i don’t know if i want to do it or not.
I guess i could start talking about my family and how they contribute to my demise. Â First off theres my brother (i wont use his real name so he will be ‘mike’ for this” mike […]
I finished reading this book today and i must say it is absolutley amazing,you won’t regret reading but my favorite part was the ending. I’ll try not to spoil it but it gave me another reason to live,to stay gold,it gave me hope that there is still good in the world,somewhere there is still good.
This is about me 3 years ago and how I survived looking into the horror that I have created. I was a lonely person my whole life and I been reading all the time. What else does a boy with no friends have to do. Anyway at age of 17 I spent months in my room reading. I had hundreds of books there. And one book which I ran across had affected me in a very bad way. I got interested in it and I read it over and over and somehow suddenly it affected me. I began to have paranoid thoughts and become scared […]
I just got into a fight with my dad. He started it with no reason. I’m either going to (try, it hasn’t really worked out in the past. :/ )hang myself tonight or tomorrow. So I guess this is bye.
If you need anybody to talk to, please email me. You’re all important and very very special.
aimee.m.zaval@gmail.com
You’re all amazing.
My nightmares
When children have nightmaresÂ
It’s usually of the dark
Fears born from lies
Thoughts born from the unknownÂ
Their dreams are plagued with monsters and ghosts, darkness and ghouls.Â
They wake up knowing that it was just a dream
That in reality there’s nothing to fear but fear itself
Oh how I wish I was still like that
Because in my dreams monsters serve me, ghosts fear me, ghouls fall for me and darkness is my kingdom.Â
these are my happy dreams
The ones I hope to relive
You see, my mind is kind of flipped on its lid.Â
My nightmares are of love
Of happiness
Of caring
I can’t take life anymore i just need to die now, I’m new to this site just wanna express myself.
Ive suffered from depression for a year and half now, i used to be on 100ml anti depressants but they did nothing for me just made me lifeless and made me think more. Which made me worse, I used to have to go and see a Psychologist but he wasn’t helping at all so i just stopped attending.  I have tried suicide before through Severely cutting my wrists a lot with a scalpel, which actually hurt alot. Ever since i thought that i couldn’t kill myself… Didn’t have the […]
I think about dying all the time. Â Wanting to be killed, suicide methods. Â I fight it, it gets worse. Â I consider the absurdist tact, but can’t really sustain it. Â Only solace is knowing that there are people here who understand and go through the same thing. Â I distract myself with tv and food, when I’m with myself it’s just death.
i havent wrote here in a while, things been going great for a long time, and graduation is saturday. but today, somebody made me ready for death. Somebody wanted to make me kill myself today, like no other. Somebody bullied me like i’ve never been bullied before. She humilated me. She took a picture of my hair and said “your hair should not look like this” and posted it on twitter. i have never been so hurt in my life, i’ve been called ugly, and all sorts of names, but this is just horrible. Saturday after graduation, im killing myself.
I push people away when I’m afraid, because I don’t think they could ever handle my feelings, I’m still trying.
Have you ever had one of those days, when you just hate everything? And even dropping your pen makes you want to break down and cry?
I always feel as if I treat people right, I strive to make sure the people I love are alright, even the ones that hate me. But have you ever had someone that continues to tell you that they dont deserve you? or they just keep rejecting your love? but they still stick around. It confuses me, do you […]
ME.
underneath im: stupid, a loser, a loner, a cutter, unusual, different, shunned, hated, betrayed, embarrased, failure, sad, unloved, defeated, lonely, DEPRESSED. so strange i can make this seem untrue. i fake my way through life- “fake it til u make it” would that make me a liar? an attention seeker? i dont think so but i dont care what i think.. ha i dont even know who i am cuz i care what u think, i change all the time. just to make you happy. but that will neva happen cuz u will never be ok with me. dont feel bad its not just […]
Severe clinical depression, anxiety disorder.. Cutting, 2 failed attempts. I have felt lost, hopeless, disconnected from life and it’s surroundings. Everything and everyone I’ve ever know has left me alone. I feel so confused. I believe I don’t have purpose anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. Many thoughts of another attempt plague my mind. I’ve had terrible luck with women in my life. I found this site and I knew I needed to get this off my chest. I would like to know if anyone can relate to me .. And if you guys/ girls want to know more about my […]
If you don’t know, The Sunset Limited is a movie, about a suicidal man with two very famous actors in it. Its defiantly worth a watch.
Anyways, I feel like Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Nobody gets me, except for the people on this site! I’m living in a constant state of agony as I have never felt in my life. As some of you know I tried to hang myself yesterday. I landed on with my feet on the floor the first time I tried due to not calculating the rope position properly after the noose was tightened it left too much space. So […]
Hi. I am unnamed. But I have a past. And a future, I have attempted suicide 4 times by over dosing. I go to two councillors and my friends are supposed to be there for me. But they aren’t. They care more about partying and drinking and I have this. Anyways, I was sexually harassed by my step father. He texted me telling me to send him pictures and that he doesn’t think of me as a step daughter, but more as a hot friend. My mother didn’t do anything about it, she is still with him and is closer than ever with him. I […]